Baby Poop Smoothies in the Age of Nuclear, Autism and Autoimmune Disease. Caveat Emptor Y’All.

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ca·ve·at emp·tor
/ˌkavēˌät ˈem(p)ˌtôr/

  1. the principle that the buyer alone is responsible for checking the quality and suitability of goods before a purchase is made.

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Baby poop smoothies.  Have people heard of this?  It’s along the same lines as fecal transplants, where both are alternative treatments used to treat and even “cure” various bowel ailments from which people are desperate, absolutely desperate for relief.  People suffering from gastrointestinal dysfunction and disease are literally willing to eat, drink and/or rectally insert other people’s shit in order to make themselves feel better, and as a Crohn’s patient myself whose serious debilitating illness was not responding to conventional care, I understand what would move anyone to attempt drastic measures to relieve the pain and disability of a crippling gastrointestinal condition which can quickly make anyone’s life unbearable.

In my own case, I submitted to suffered through 2 years’ worth of ineffective and damaging Western medical treatment for my Crohn’s; the relentless agony of un- and undertreated Crohn’s disease was hellish and terrifying, and despite accepting treatment I was only getting worse.  When I saw what was happening to me, and that the path I was on would not lead to a good place, I took my health and life into my own hands and moved across the country alone to legally treat with medical cannabis, otherwise known as marijuana.  If I hadn’t done that, and was left to suffer through more Western medical treatments (or no treatment at all) I would have likely sought relief with various alternative treatments with little or no regard for their weirdness, offensiveness, or likelihood of success.  Although I had researched fecal transplants and found that they are not indicated for small bowel Crohn’s, which I have, I am sure that eventually I would’ve come across the concept of, and been tempted to try, the Baby Poop Smoothie.

In fact, taking Baby Poop via rectal insertion, otherwise known as fecal transplant is the first thing my mother recommended to me when I reached out to her for help earlier this year and she ignorantly suggested that I needed to “up my game” with regard to my treatment because even though I had managed on my own to get about 50% better than I was before, was no longer getting worse, and I hadn’t had a single emergency in 3 years, all due to my handcrafted cannabis treatment protocol which I invented and financed alone, I was still sick.  Believe it or don’t, and blame me if you must, while I was able to find profound pain relief and some real healing using medical cannabis, I was unable to cure myself of an incurable disease.  Troublingly, but par for the course in cases of medically confounding illness including autoimmune disease, my mother is a nurse and even she refuses to believe the fucking peer-reviewed medical literature (and patients’ self-reports) that spell out plainly the truth about my condition: that the conventional treatments for Crohn’s either do not work, do not work well, or do not work for long; that the iatrogenic illnesses and injuries caused by the treatments themselves can be life threatening and cause compounding pain, disability and misery above and beyond the disease itself; that Crohn’s disease is both incurable and progressive; and that therefore, because of all these things, Crohn’s patients have a severely diminished quality of life and Crohn’s sufferers as a group have an astonishingly high suicide rate.

That’s about as bad as it gets anywhere in life ya’ll: a diagnosis of Crohn’s within the context of capitalism and patriarchy is a waking nightmare whose attendant horrors are only reliably quelled in death, literal death.

To reiterate, Crohn’s disease is both incurable and progressive, which means that no matter what treatments they take, Crohn’s patients are lucky to stay the same over time and to not get worse.  And the pain and misery of Crohn’s is literally unbearable.  The *only* thing Crohn’s patients can realistically hope for is to get some relief and some degree of healing from their relentless pain and symptoms and even that is elusive to almost everyone, or for long, where conventional treatments don’t fucking work and where alternative treatments in particular, even if they do work, are not subsidized the way conventional treatments are, and are therefore either flatly prohibitively expensive or financially unsustainable over time.  Unfortunately, as I have learned, that includes treatment with medical cannabis.

Enter the Baby Poop Smoothie.  Assuming you can somehow procure a baby, their poop is free, plentiful, renewable, and might even work as a treatment for gastrointestinal distress; apparently baby poop is loaded with probiotics (of course) and the idea appears to be that in the case of babies, unlike with adults, you can get medicinal-grade poop from a fresh gut that hasn’t been treated with antibiotics or otherwise compromised by various environmental toxins at all, or certainly for years and decades the way adults’ guts have been.  Get a baby who’s been fed exclusively breast milk from a mother who is healthy, untreated with antibiotics, and who only eats organic food herself (preferably) or a baby that’s graduated to eating exclusively organic baby food, collect their shit, blend with some other non-shit ingredients and drink!  Sounds good right?  To a Crohn’s or other inflammatory bowel disease patient already used to drinking sickening fluids in the form of enteral feeds, colonoscopy preps and the like, and who has already likely failed at numerous painful and debilitating treatments, the prospect of ingesting baby poop literally eating shit, if it held any promise to free them from crippling pain and symptoms of disease, sounds as benign and effortless as eating organic cotton candy at a vegan carnival in a dream.

But what’s really in any baby’s gut, considering that we have been living in a post-apocalyptic nightmare where (in the USA anyway) “we” have been nuclear-bombing our own people and our own territories for decades — since the 1940s?  Where babies have probably been being born with autism, autoimmune diseases and other ailments related to environmental contamination for generations by now, and where autistics and autoimmune patients are siring and birthing autistics and autoimmune patients themselves and have been for a long time — and where the guts of autism patients in particular are known to be bad, very bad, where autistic children are prone to diagnoses of inflammatory bowel disease themselves including Crohn’s disease and ulcerative colitis?  Is anyone going to talk about that, and about how even newborn babies fed organic diets cannot reliably avoid exposure to environmental toxins including the ravages of man-made nuclear isotopes and toxins encountered in the wombs of sick or autoimmune women, and what that has likely done to the babies’ guts and by extension to their poop?

Is anyone, anyone going to interrogate the station in which we currently find ourselves, where people are so fucking incurably, progressively and desperately ill that they are ready and willing to drink shit to get even temporary relief from their unfathomable suffering, but where even finding healthy shit — shit that’s healthier than sick people’s own diseased shit — is harder than it sounds, meaning extremely difficult if not impossible?  In industrialized nations (or any nation or territory for that matter due to ocean currents and jet streams disseminating pollution globally) we likely cannot even find a single gram of healthy shit to save our very lives at this point people.  And as far as I can tell no one, and I mean no one is talking about this, where the cultural conversation instead consists of tittering about “superfoods” and the probiotic effects of drinking baby poop (and the general awesomeness of babies and of having baby after baby after baby in a postapocalyptic nuclear-contaminated world).  Fucking shit.

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12 thoughts on “Baby Poop Smoothies in the Age of Nuclear, Autism and Autoimmune Disease. Caveat Emptor Y’All.

  1. Hi Michelle, thanks for reading and for your comment! If you have anything to add to the discussion I would love to hear it. I can’t believe people assume babies’ bodies are so healthy, look the fuck around people. We live in a postapocalyptic nightmare and everyone is getting sick, including babies. It takes some Olympic grade mental gymnastics to come up with this level of denial about what is happening to our world. Sick women are giving birth and have been for generations. “That can’t be good for the baby!” as everyone says about everything (smoking, preservatives) but no one says anything about nuclear, or chronically ill mothers, or infertile women taking drugs to stop them from miscarrying damaged fetuses. It’s stunning.

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  2. I believe that this has been going on for a few generations. I think it probably was my grandparents’ generation when they started messing with the “food” they feed us. Then the industrial revolution, etc began polluting the environment. The list is so extensive I could not possibly list it all. The damage is passed on through the generations. When I was a child you never heard of children having food allergies and no food was band from school. I never heard of autism or ADD/ADHD, etc. until I became an adult. I had not heard of any mysterious chronic illness until I was adult in the 1980’s. Now it is an epidemic. People need to begin to question what is going on. Way too many people are asleep and in denial. I have been called a conspiracy theorist by my own son but, like I told him, he does not know what things were like before and how it has not so gradually become worse. I think people are less healthy now than they were 100 years ago. Back then if you got a serious illness you crossed over. Now that is not permitted. They want us to be seriously ill yet keep breathing so they can control us and, more importantly, they can become even richer.

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  3. If you’re right about the timing of it, things are even worse than I thought. I’ve read that GMOs weren’t being sold in supermarkets until the mid 1990s but you’re right, what does that even mean? They were probably being used in school lunches, jails and the military for decades before they unleashed them on the general public (or the date of mid-90s is just a lie). And like you, there was no such thing as peanut allergies when I was in school, no chronic illness in friends or family. My brother was born with a congenital heart defect tho, and there was one kid I was in elementary school with that had cancer. My best childhood friend and her brother were both diagnosed with MS as adults in their 30s, my best friend in high school died of cancer in her 20s. I was probably already sick as a child but was undiagnosed, so yeah I think things were really getting noticeably bad starting with kids born in the 70s after 2 or 3 generations of getting off easy with no obvious markers of disease or defects. Obvious autism exploded with kids born in the 90s and 00s but I have a 60 year old uncle that obviously has it too and is very disabled from it. Now autistics are having kids and even grandkids of their own regardless of whether they even should, and there is evidence that they shouldn’t where everyone is infertile now and need to take fertility drugs just to conceive or carry pregnancies to term! None of this existed when I was growing up. The fertility drugs did not exist back then but NO ONE I knew or heard about had any problem conceiving, quite the opposite in fact, everyone needed birth control and were having abortions, or easily having kid after kid. It’s so obviously a logic fail to think that “because social media makes us aware of it” that therefore, nothing ever changes for the worse. What the fuck. I honestly think brain damage is part of what is happening to everyone, based on most people’s obvious inability to think critically or rationally about literally anything. Or maybe it’s just extreme social pressure and fear for our very survival if we piss off too many people where it’s so damn hard to just get by under capitalism and patriarchy that we have to please the right people to even get a bite to eat or keep a roof over our heads. Intelligence is punished, critical thought is punished. I feel like we are living in a nightmare. And yes, we aren’t even allowed to escape through death, they won’t let us die no matter how sick we are or for how long. If I tried for a million years I couldn’t come up with anything more nightmarish and horrifying than what we are all living with for real every day. And I am so, so over being sick on top of everything else. How much honestly are people expected to take?

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  4. When I said “messing with our food” I was not speaking of GMO’s during that time frame. I believe you are correct with the timing. I do not ever remember coming across a seedless watermelon or grape until I was I teenager, I believe, and that was the late 70’s or early 80’s. I am still trying to figure out how those reproduce! My grandmothers made everything from scratch and homemade until after the war. Foods did not have chemical preservatives and there were no prepared foods. This began after the war. My parents were born in 1939 and 1940. They were very much into prepared foods and convenience items. It was a generational thing. I believe this began earlier than we think and it was very gradual and done in many ways. On my dad’s side of the family kids mature early, if you know what I mean. I got my period at the age of 6. My sisters were 7. I have at least 2 cousins who had this happened also. My mother, of course, freaked out. The doctor told her this was happening because we are very healthy! My answer to that is BULLSHIT! It is because we are becoming freaks of nature due to the crap they putting into us and the environment! When I became an adult and started baking and cooking I could not figure out the point of cake mixes and such. I found it was just as easy and more cost effective to bake from scratch. They convinced my parents’ generation that convenience items are better. I was born in 1964 with a congenital dislocated hip. My parents were told it was hereditary yet no one can think of any other baby girl born with it on either side of my family. I was actually very healthy physically until I had my stroke at age 44. At that time they found that I was also born with a hole in my heart. For the past 9+ years my health has deteriorated very quickly. By the time my boys were born GMO’s were common and I believe they were affected by them. My oldest is very quiet and reserved as is typical for my dad’s side of the family but the school wanted him in a special program and to put labels on him but I refused (this is another trick they are playing with our children: label them, medicate them, control them. My son had a very high IQ and had everything going for him yet at the age of 26 he took his life due to overwhelming higher education debt (another control mechanism). I also lost two babies via miscarriages which would not surprise me if the babies and my oldest son’s problems were environmental. My youngest son is very outgoing and a leader but he was labeled with all kinds of emotional and behavioral problems and put in special schools. This too was environmental due to problems at home coupled with the crap in our food and environment. Today my son is a very loving and responsible young man who is about to be married and will STILL buck the system, which I and his father highly encourage because the world needs people like him and, more importantly, our children are happier when encouraged to be themselves. I believe all that I have mentioned here has to do with our fucked up food and water supply and the damage done to this planet. What I do not understand is that I am this ill yet my friend who is 10 (she will be 64 on Friday) years older than me is extremely healthy and looks younger than me. My ex-husband is 62 and and he is healthier than I. I read an article that the young Baby Boomers, such as myself, are much less healthy than the older Baby Boomers and no one knows why but I believe it has to do with the above. As for critical thinking, you are right. It is not taught in schools any longer because the schools are factories where they put the children on assembly lines (they do not teach to the child or for the child) in order to create cloned robots. This is one of the reasons my youngest had trouble with school, he refused to fit into the box. Adults believe everything they hear on the news media and have forgotten how to think and speak for themselves. There is no longer free speech in America and too many are blind to this. The truth is that you are very correct on all of this and I agree, there is nothing more nightmarish than being this ill with no way out. I am now housebound 24/7 and many days I am confined to bed. To be told they do not know what is causing it and cannot help me makes matters even worse. People need to wake up and demand change. We need a revolution.

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  5. Convenience food! Yes, I didn’t even think of that. Processed food is bad, but now that we have GMOs everything else seems healthy in comparison! Like eating a cake from a box in the 80s was probably healthier than eating a salad today because even the worst processed foods from pre-GMO days were still FOOD ffs. Now we are eating straight up poison, it’s not even food, not even “unhealthy” food, it’s not food period. Just because it looks like food doesn’t mean it is. I know what you mean about the older people being healthier than the younger people. My previous landlady was an 80-something year old and she was way healthier than I was, but because she was old she expected me to do shit for her! Half the time I was there, I couldn’t even take out my own trash. I left my mail sit in the mailbox for weeks at a time. Her and her 80-something year old husband wouldn’t lift a finger to help me even though they were both healthy as horses, they went out dancing every Thursday and the old man still worked the back 40 alone and she went for Bridge and margaritas with her friends at least once a week. Of course, having money helps, and they had some, but it’s not everything. I think it’s exactly as you say, and that the younger you are, you were exposed to GMOs and other shit for a shorter time but a greater percentage of your life. Based on the evidence, the percentage of your life seems to be the more reliable indicator of your current and future health. Kids born after 1995 or so have been exposed to GMOs since they were in the womb. And those are the very kids who ended up obviously autistic en masse. Their mothers are my age (born in the 70s) which seems to be the autoimmune generation. I think it’s probably too late for a revolution, but even if it weren’t who will even be healthy enough to demand it? The rich 80 year olds are happy with the status quo — afterall, they largely created it. And I absolutely hate them for that.

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  6. My landlady is in her late 70’s and the woman who lives on the other side of the house from me is in her late 80’s. They are both amazed at my poor health and worry about me. The two guys who live upstairs are in their 60’s. I am the youngest living in this house and I am the only one who is ill. I am very fortunate that they understand. You made me feel like an old mother! LOL! My youngest child was born in 1998! My oldest would be turning 31 this year however. I understand that the younger generation is not as healthy but it will be up to them to change things. The elderly and the Boomers will be returning to the Spirit Realm or have done so already. Whether they care or not is really insignificant because they truly do not need to worry about it. My son who is 20 is very healthy and he never used to believe me about the environment, food, the mysterious illnesses, etc. However, he has watched my health decline for 9 1/2 years now. He is now worried, frightened and extremely angry. He has been watching all kinds of documentaries and is beginning to believe me. It will be up to people like him who have been personally affected by this yet are healthy. It WILL change. I have seen a surge in people homesteading, eating organic, living chemical free and returning to the simple life. This is very encouraging to me and I truly believe this movement will grow. It will change but it will take time and patience.

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  7. Haha! Sorry about the “old mother” thing. We are both between generations it seems, if you are a young Boomer, I am a young Gen-Xer. So you and I are kind of in the same generation in a way — the “neither here nor there” generation born 1965-75. I hope you are right that things will change, but I just don’t see how with genetic defects now in play. Is there a way to reverse that? With man-made nuclear contamination covering everything, and GMOs polluting non-GMO crops, how will anyone be born healthy? A woman is born with all the eggs she will ever have — and these eggs form in her while she is in her own mother’s womb. So what our grandmothers are exposed to determines our genetic health in that way. If everything stopped today and there were no more new contaminants entering the environment, 2 more generations would still have been exposed. In the meantime, we have a “crisis” of infertility. And there are nuclear isotopes in our food, water, soil and air that have half-lives of hundreds of thousands of years, which will create exposures forever in human terms. I am not naturally an optimist, but even using logic and reason I do not see how this will ever be reversed. How do you think it will happen? How is it even possible? I would really like to know what you think.

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  8. The only way to begin to do this is to get the whole planet on board. This will be very difficult but it is beginning to happen! The next thing we need to do is to begin to make these changes within ourselves first. You must always begin to make changes with yourself first. This is something we have both done but others need to do it too. We must make sure that the whole world is aware that entire planet and population is being severely affected. This is the first step and there are many out there doing this. The purpose of this is to bring awareness. Your blog also does this. More and more people are seeing this problem everyday and making the changes, This will spread. As I said, this will take time and require patience. It also requires positive thinking by everyone. We cannot lie down and give up. The truth is that this planet has its own Spirit just as we do. The name of this Spirit is Gaia and she can, whenever she wishes, regenerate herself. Humanity is now figuring out the body has this ability also but we do not quite have the hang of it yet. The time will come when we will (this will probably be through the desperation which we are feeling now). The truth is that if things do not change it will be humanity who goes extinct and the Earth could survive if Gaia so chooses. Yes, this is going to take a very very long time but people are beginning to wake up and there are so many (more than ever) who are awake which will lead to these changes. It will take at the very least three generations to purify the human body again but that truly is not a very long time. The problem is very much the doing of the humans and it is up to the humans to correct it. Being complacent will not do it and we must get the non-believers to believe that we are destroying the environment and ourselves. I believe that it is stories like ours which will make the difference. The problem with me is that they cannot find what is wrong with me. That is something which I believe should not be happening but it is happening to many. It is stories such as these which will begin to get people to understand and make the changes which are needed. The Earth can be troubled by the toxins for a very long time because it is much stronger than we think. The problem lies within the its inhabitants as we cannot. It did not take long at all for these toxins to begin to poison and kill us. This is something where you must view it not from the present moment but from that of eternity. Within eternity this time frame of hundreds of thousands of years is not very long. I think by making these changes now we are beginning to go in the right direction. It will be very beneficial to the Spiritual growth of the entire planet and this growth has been going on for the entire time that humanity has been around. This will continue for the whole time that Earth exists. This is the point of the whole mess that we have right now. To wake people up, to clean up the mess which will get others to grow Spiritually. I can understand that you are looking to the practical side which is the way that lawyers work. I am truly looking through the eyes of Spirit. The truth is that the more practical side cannot see that it is these problems which get the purpose of growth and learning to be accomplished. Materialism and greed will be going to change into love and compassion. This will take some time but it is beginning to happen now. If we did not have the problems which we are experiencing now, which were caused by greed and materialism, then we would never know that they are not good and we would continue on with greed and materialism. It is through opposites which we learn and grow. This mess which we have made is certainly a learning opportunity. I am very positive that humans will use it to their advantage.

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  9. Thank you for your perspective. It seems that there is no rational reason to maintain hope, but there may be other reasons. A good reminder. For the first 3 years I was here I was very aware that “I don’t know everything” and open to the possibility that something unexpected could happen to change my own outcome. But the more time has passed I feel the likelihood of anything unexpected happening has shrunken to nothing. The possibility sustained me for awhile though, and I know it’s still possible. And then there’s the rest of the humans, the rest of life and the rest of the planet lol. It will surely take something like what you are suggesting to turn this ship around and I agree that it is possible. Thanks again for taking the time to answer my questions.

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