Doom 401: Advanced Doom. Coronavirus Update

This is the latest from 2 of the channels I am paying attention to regarding the now global Coronavirus outbreak that started at the end of 2019.  I last wrote about Coronavirus here, where I described concerns about autoimmune patients taking biologics and chemotherapies to treat their illnesses being exposed to environmental pathogens that they are now defenseless against due to the immunosuppressant effects of their drugs.

Guy McPherson, a conservation biologist who has been writing and speaking about catastrophic climate change for the last decade or so, appears in the first vid.  He brings to the table his evidence that “global dimming” due to industrial air pollution has been paradoxically keeping a lid on catastrophic global warming this whole time, where particulates in the atmosphere prevent the full warming effects of sunlight from reaching the Earth’s surface.  Since China has essentially locked down its population in an attempt to stop the spread of the Coronavirus pathogen, its enormous manufacturing industry has likewise been shut down, which is expected to clear up the air a bit.  If that sounds like a good thing, it’s apparently not.

The cooling effects of China’s part in global dimming are now expected to vanish and the Earth’s global temperature will now be expected to rise up to 1C degree, over and above the “normal” overheated global baseline which was already increasing.  Dr. McPherson does not make predictions per se, but he reports that the evidence suggests that this additional increase in global temperature will create catastrophic global warming and loss of human and animal habitat by November of this year.

In the second vid, Canadian anti-nuclear activist and researcher Dana Durnford reports on the latest headlines regarding the global response to the Coronavirus outbreak.  He asks us to evaluate the information we are receiving and to think about whether it makes rational sense when taken as a whole, for example, many sources are still comparing the virus to the common flu, and yet nearly a billion people globally are living under “forced travel restrictions” including being restricted from “traveling” outside the 4 walls of their own homes, in other words, medical quarantine.  If this is merely a flu epidemic (or pandemic) why is the global response unlike previous responses to previous flu epidemics, or even previous Coronavirus-type outbreaks including SARS?

Comments Open.

187 thoughts on “Doom 401: Advanced Doom. Coronavirus Update

  1. Apparently so lol. I guess the idea is that particulate air pollution warms the Earth in many ways (like killing things that normally remove or balance CO2 like trees and ocean biomass) and causes tipping points, then traps the heat in like a blanket, but it also prevents outside heat from getting in by blocking the sun. So I guess when the particulate blanket is removed, we are left with all the tipping points and runaway/exponential change, plus another “blanket” of vaporized water from the heat, and we get hammered by the sun at the same time. He writes more about it on his website and does more vids about it on his YT channel for anyone who wants to learn more about it.


  2. Here is a vid from Peter Breggin re managing anxiety without drugs. I thought it was interesting and somewhat helpful, although it is a general approach for people who are suffering from anxiety from everyday stress like bad news and adulting. It doesn’t seem to apply as much to people who are basically rendered helpless by chronic illnesss, for example. And he is still an establishment/authority figure, and a man. So misses the mark a bit when it comes to women’s situation. But I found some interesting tidbits in here anyway. Watch at x1.25 speed to cut it down to 45 mins instead of an hour.


  3. Weird.. so basically if that’s true we’re already totally fucked over because even if everything stops right now with the polluting (yeah right) it’s already set in motion to have catastrophic consequences. Do you think that we’d be able to figure out technology to fix things if men died off and stopped destroying everything or it’s too late anyway?


  4. Yes, that’s what Guy McP has been trying to tell everyone for years. It’s too late. And there is no technology to fix it. Any machinery or devices that would be large enough to have any effect, like say big vaccuums to suck the CO2 out of the air or something, would take so many resources to create and would create so much pollution on their own that it wouldn’t help. And that’s even if we had something in mind, which we don’t. And we don’t have time to find something either, if the evidence really means what he thinks it means. Anything biological that they might try to release on the environment would almost certainly have catastrophic unintended consequences. He calls all this kind of thinking “hopium”, as in hopium for the masses. People need to cling to the belief that this ship can be turned around, even if there is absolutely no evidence that that’s even possible, let alone likely. He is bone-weary of having to explain all of this to hopium addicts who don’t grok what you’ve been able to deduce here on your own: it’s too late, and nothing can be done.

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  5. It’s kind of fascinating in a way isn’t it? We might be among the last humans seeing the end of our species. What comes next? My ex and I used to talk about how maybe all we are is just the pathway for android life to exist and nonbiological life is the nest step in evolution. They will take over the planet after we’re gone.

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  6. Somewhere on the internet I read how a woman described this all as a ship and said this whole thing which was basically this: the women are all chained down below decks, the men are sailing it off to nowhere to crash upon the rocks, while the ship rots from neglect. The young women have hope that they can convince the men to let them free and gain control of the ship to care for it and sail it to a proper destination, the men say they might but they just rape them instead. The older women just give up and accept we are being lead to hell and can’t stop it.

    Lol pretty accurate. The way she described it was much more detailed and very vivid. I see the images of all of that in my head.

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  7. That is very descriptive yes. Thanks for that! And it does seem like an interesting time to be alive. People have been saying the world is ending for a long time, or what seems like a long time. It’s not really that long though, not in the grand scheme of things. I mean, if someone 1000 years ago started having the feeling that things were going to end soon, and it ends now, they wouldn’t have been wrong. And I do believe that people can “sense” things that are coming down the pike but haven’t arrived yet.

    One of the conspiratard channels I watch (Clif High) thinks that people are psychic and he built a computer algorithm to sort through social media for the last 10 years or something to find patterns, in order to predict the future. The idea was that people would be using language unconsciously out of psychic ability and that enough people would be doing it that it would be measurable, if not decipherable. It’s really fascinating. He stopped doing it a year or so ago bc he had other things to do and I think he said the results were becoming confusing or something. But the algorithm had been mentioning “sun sickness” for a long time and that billions (or something) of people would die of this sun sickness. He and others are making the connection between “Corona” virus and “sun” sickness. His long time viewers were there years ago and saw with their own eyes that this data started appearing years ago but at the time it didn’t make any sense. Currently Clif is doing vids on how to protect yourself from Coronavirus, which he thinks is a bioweapon. Anyway. lol. I think it’s fascinating stuff, yes. And it’s interesting, and refreshing to hear smart people talking about what they think for a change. I should mention that Clif High has said that he “used to be” schizophrenic. You def have to use discernment with this material and go to many sources in order to try to see the whole picture.

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  8. The way I think of things is that everything is true in a sense, it’s just part of the truth and it’s true even if it’s a lie or just wrong because there is still some true reason the person is saying it. So when you look everywhere you gather bits and pieces of the truth. Then you look at everything together and look at everyone’s motivation for saying what they say. Cui bono? What does everyone stand to gain from what is being said? Even something that is blatant propaganda trying to get us to go along with whatever current insanity, there is truth in it because you can look into how they are trying to manipulate us. An individual lying shows you truth about themselves, about what kind of person they are and about what kind of reality they would like you to believe. Everything someone says tells some kind of truth and it’s just a matter of figuring out what kind.

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  9. I believe we are psychically linked too. Have you heard of stuff where people will invent the same thing at the same time far away from each other? There’s been different cases of that but I can’t think of particular ones. And there were groups of monkeys where people observed these two separate isolated groups learning a particular skill at the same time. Someone said somewhere how maybe when more women wake up and free themselves others will learn too through their psychic links. That was an interesting thought.

    That sounds about right that the predictions of the end of the world were just off on the time line. I wonder really how far back people have been saying that? Were they always saying that or was it since the damage to our Earth started being seen/felt/sensed? And is it a sense of knowing of the future? Is it just examining the effects of what is happened and intuiting that it will eventually lead to complete destruction?


  10. Right, it’s like why is everyone so sick after we keep dumping weird chemicals everywhere as blowing toxic fumes into the air? Total mystery!

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  11. I’m totally feeling what you said about truth. Well said. And I think people are psychic too. Sometimes I just read the comments section of the tard sites to see what people are reporting about dreams and visions, or observations and connections being made, or feelings about what’s coming. It’s really fascinating. Sometimes they are completely stupid (I think there are legit crazies on these sites, but they could still be right on some level like you say) like this one that noticed that Trump did a presser on Coronavirus a couple days ago and traded his normal red tie for a “salmon” one. This person thought Trump was trying to give everyone a message to store food because “salmon” is food lol. Man what a reach! But if that person received the message “store food” then maybe that message came from somewhere else, and maybe its correct. I mean its always a good idea to be prepared. Or, maybe there was some kind of intent behind the different colored tie but it was some other message, or aimed at specific people. Or, maybe he spilled soup on the red one 5 seconds before he went on camera, who knows. But if I had a few hundred $ right now I def would stock up on food and supplies. I received a note on my door today from the maintenance man who was telling everyone in the complex that exact thing. According to him, 4 of my neighbors have been suffering from some virus that put one of them in the hospital. I’ve actually felt especially sick the last month or so, ever since everyone’s plumbing backed up and we all had shit in our bathtubs. My stomach has never been the same. They are saying Coronavirus spreads through shit. And as of today, I legit feel like I’m coming down with an upper respiratory thing. I rarely ever get “that kind” of sick anymore, ever since my Crohn’s blew up. :/

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  12. Oh god that’s gross about the bathtub and sorry you’re feeling even sicker than usual. That is really frightening too that the maintenance man is leaving those notes. Even if nothing big happens with the virus spreading, people are starting to get really freaked out and that’s bad enough to cause problems.

    I agree those crazy things people say like the salmon colored tie meaning store food could just be a way of the brain processing the message. Everything we understand is scrambled through our individual understanding of things. And I’ve been thinking essentially everyone is crazy now at this point. This is a freakish unnatural way of life and it’s warped all our brains and created two kinds of craziness, there’s the people that go along with everything (authoritarians) and they follow everything no matter how ridiculous it is while their brain rationalizes everything as good and normal, then there’s the people who can’t go along with things (anti-authoritarian) but they are driven crazy just the same because they are in constant opposition to what is presented as good and normal. Maybe there’s a few people off meditating in the woods somewhere who are still like normal sane people.

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  13. The thing about people becoming extinct is that the information comes from males. And males lie about everything. It’s like they have an aversion to truth and honesty.

    So while I am absolutely sure that we will be going extinct sooner rather than later, I don’t believe anything that males say because they are lying.

    So we are a whole lot worse off than males claim, or we are a whole lot better off than males claim, depending on which lie they are telling. Since I am not leaving daughters behind when I die, it really makes me no difference.

    But I have known for a while that males are causing their own extinction, and they are taking us with them out of selfish, vapid, arrogant ignorance. My view on that has changed. Males are going to extinct women first, partially by accident. And once we are gone, they are doomed.

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  14. I think they will go extinct first and we will still linger around suffering. There are all these villages in heavily polluted areas where male babies aren’t even being born and it’s only females. We are getting sicker but we are still stronger than them and they will just die instead of lead a sickly life.

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  15. I saw this article about “How to prepare for the Coronavirus” and it said this: “Wash your hands frequently, said Dr. Trish Perl, an infectious disease specialist at UT Southwestern Medical Center. “It’s not super sexy but it works,” she said.” Lol it’s so hard to stay super sexy when trying to avoid infectious diseases!

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  16. From what I’ve read, environmental pollution and maternal stress cause male fetuses to be aborted. But AI mothers immune systems attacking the fetus, which causes autism, causes female fetuses to abort. That’s why so many more males are profoundly retarded from autism but girls generally aren’t. For whatever reason, nature has selected profoundly retarded female autistics to die. And thank god for that TBH. Sheesh, can you imagine a fresh crop of profoundly retarded female babies being born every year and what would happen to them? Honestly this AI business may have changed the game. radfemspiraling could be onto something there.

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  17. Hmm dunno, you think as more and more women have AI issues that it’s going to reverse and be mostly boys that are born? The male fetuses abort from pollution and stress but then female fetuses will abort from mothers immune system issues and as pretty much all women are affected to some degree now, it will eventually be like very low birth numbers all around and in areas with lower pollution there would mostly just be a bunch of seriously retarded males?

    Maybe this is women’s bodies collectively shutting down reproduction of the species after so much abuse that we can’t take it anymore. So deep down in our soul energy/psychic bond we’ve decided to end this species and have our spirits go somewhere else. That’s a nice thought.

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  18. I think we’ve been trapped here in the rebirth cycle on this planet with these demonic energies keeping us trapped from doing anything better because they are sucking out our spirit energy. But maybe now this is us figuring out a way to get out of it and all this suffering is just the end to this trap. The animals will definitely go with us whenever we are going when it ends.

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  19. I’m watching an Indian horror anthology and the first episode was about a pregnant woman getting possessed by a spirit and her family was going to let the spirit have her and sacrifice her fetus in order to lift a curse preventing her brother from reproducing. But her brother’s wife saved her and made the spirit leave. So it has me thinking, do men instinctually know that the Y is only passed through sons? This has been a thing for so long that everything has to be passed through the sons. They had a pregnant daughter about to have a grandchild that might have even been a boy, but that wasn’t good enough because the family Y gene isn’t passed down unless the son reproduces.


  20. I think the Y carries some sort of demonic energy in it and men that manage to be good decent humans do so despite being infected with this evil energy. The things they do are so horrific and so many are just nonsensical too. Like as evil as all the raping is, it serves a purpose for them to spread their genes. By then so many of them want to do all kinds of other horrific things that don’t even serve a purpose too. Why do so many of them want to eat shit? I’m so disturbed just knowing that’s an actual thing that a bunch of men do and they’re out there doing it. Then they are able to go out in the world and act normal and pretend like they’re not eating shit. WTF? I don’t like interacting with them anymore at all because I know so many of them are doing such disturbing things. I literally think they have something “demonic” in them. Like bad infected energy. Like they have a parasitic demon energy latched onto their Y and it uses them to suck the energy out of us and every other living thing.

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  21. Best convo ever^

    another Woman— I now know what attracted u to your ex! I talked about stuff like this on teen sleepovers. We are up with this:

    That the earth is a nucleus inside a a giant molecule that is the Solar system>All of it adds up to a humongous organism.My grandpa used to go off on such tangents too.He hung himself last year @ 79+senile. I;m pissed that a mind like his didn’t reside in XX body. But i seemed to have inherited it ,so it did go somewhere

    I assumed simultaneous inventions happen cos of spying. Russians invented TV& radio, but Westerners +Japanese got it off the ground in a commercial sense>>hence no one knows about the origin. not living to 60 .1 in 4 doesN;t make it past 50 or 55

    Stalin &Hitler existed @ same time.Funny that.

    Men do talk about demons& possession an awful lot. Something does overtake the innocent 😇 ones in a group setting & they get hideously violent. It;s a hive mind.

    I don’t understand their pedophilic drive . Has gotta be the demonic thing

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  22. wordpress butchered the comment!

    Was trying to say that p”raps Russian dudes glimpse bits of truth &that;s why they commit slow suicide. 1 in 4 doesn’t live past 55 or 50. the average one doesn’t get to 60

    Tolstoy was mired in self-loathing.


  23. Yes there is absolutely a hive mind thing going on. All beings have it to some degree but in men it turns into this monstrous thing where they get together and some might be decent on their own but the worst ones infect the others. I think that sadism is sort of like a virus in a sense. It’s something a certain percentage of men are born with and that seems to be pretty constant throughout space and time, then given the right circumstances those infected men are able to spread the “virus” to other men and possibly some women too depending on the situation. In tribal society at least there would be some limitations to the sadists, even though they were already doing horrific things, but then when populations get big they even lose those restraints and the sadists who are the most infected with demonic energy take over.

    Men are obsessed with demons and the whole point of these demon stories is for the demons to impregnate the women. It’s because they already are infected with the demon energy. There’s something evil bound to their DNA.

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  24. My ex was all about the conspiracy stuff. That’s like his favorite thing to do, to watch weird YouTube conspiracy videos and smoke weed. We would talk about all kinds of stuff. I also think we are part of a whole organism. Everything is all pieces of the whole. And our spirit is all one, separated into pieces to have different experiences.

    We would talk a lot about how fucked up men are too and what all this means. I would ask him what he’s seen other men act like and tell him all the crazy shit I was learning about how men have all these bizarre fetishes that they get obsessed with and torture women about. In a way I think talking to a man about all this was easier because if I said any of this stuff to a woman who was still “asleep” to it all they will dismiss anything you say so quick while a man who doesn’t know the extent of how fucked up men are will still know they are fucked up and be able to understand.

    For women it’s a very painful process shedding everything we’ve been taught, taking off the “mindbindings.” But for a man it’s not a personal torture. One who is open-minded and willing to learn and understand can look at things and just know it makes sense what you are saying.

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  25. The Y chromosome has been degrading for hundreds of years, and it wasn’t impressive to begin with. The X chromosomes carry over 1000 characteristics that change and evolve, while the Y chromosome has about a dozen characteristics that is an exact copy of the Y from the father. It doesn’t change. It doesn’t evolve. The Y chromosome in males now is identical to the Y chromosome in his male line all the way back to the male that started his male lineage.

    Women are the default human, all humans have X, only half have Y. Can you imagine if this were reversed? And males were the default? We would never hear the end of it, they would likely have kept us as property and justify that with the odd chromosome, the one that made us different from them, because they would see it as proof of superiority.

    And just as an aside, I don’t believe that intersex is actually a thing. All women have all X chromosomes, even if we have an abnormality, we still have only X. The Y chromosome is a crucial part of being male. If there is a Y chromosome present, even with other abnormality, that Y makes a male.

    When doctors observe biological sex at birth, they only grant the MAN label to males that have healthy, prominent penis and testes. Medical establishment created the term, intersex, in order to push non typical male genitalia out of the male category because a male can’t be a proper male without a healthy rape stick. They can’t call an abnormal dick and balls female, and the Y chromosome is the scientific, biological proof that this person is not female, because female people do not have a Y. Males created intersex to attempt to caste out abnormal males.

    And this is not the fault of the abnormal male that is raised female because his dick was so pathetic or non existent that males actually threw him out of the male category. He is a victim of the male medical establishment. And I happen to know several males that have the Y chromosome, but were raised as intersex, and they are lovely people, mostly because they were raised as female, even though they are not.

    Males creating girldick comes directly from their invention of intersex. They literally revoke the man label from abnormal males at birth, and shove them into the female category. Males have been calling failed males, females, for a very long time and legitimizing it. That’s part of why they say that chromosomes don’t matter, and why they use intersex to prop themselves up.

    Anyway, sorry for the tangent!

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  26. Hello, CR.Esquire. Long time reader of this blog and the also greatly-missed FCM.

    Re: Corona virus Covid 19.

    A lot of people specialized in geopolitics hold the strong opinion or conviction that this new corona virus is a biological weapon being used against China, ie: biological warfare instead of conventional warfare.
    I agree with them.
    You cannot use conventional nuclear warfare against a nation that has its own nuclear arsenal.
    Besides, “nuclear is so 20th Century, so uncool”, say the psychopaths in charge.

    When I first read about the lockdown of cities in China, I immediately thought, “the Chinese government understands it is under attack…because this isn’t the first time, not even the first time last year.”

    Please read, if interested:
    “No Weapon Left Behind: The American Hybrid War on China” @

    “Bats, Gene Editing and Bioweapons: Recent DARPA Experiments Raise Concerns Amid Coronavirus Outbreak” by Whitney Webb and
    “Was The 2020 Wuhan Coronavirus an Engineered Attack on China by America for Geopolitical Advantage” both @

    on Youtube: “Is Wuhan Virus A Hit Job” @

    I am no fan of DARPA (the Pentagon’s Defense Advanced Research Project Agency) because the more I discover about their “advanced research projects” the more I despair.
    Do you really believe the recent California and Australian bushfires were caused by “climate change” because if you do, the Pentagon has bridges to sell you cheap anywhere in the world.

    That is, today I no longer believe that global climate change/chaos will exterminate us all. I tend to think that whatever the hell DARPA is doing with the climate, nature, gene editing, viruses, GMOs and humans will kill us all except for (perhaps) the 50 million planetary population that the global elite/ Powers That Be desire.

    Once upon a time, I used to view all men as equally bad. I was wrong. Today, as an older woman, I see that we have always been ruled by psychopathic madmen and women; the scum- in the human species- rising to the top.

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  27. That’s a really good way of putting it. The Y is what makes someone male regardless of what they look like. If it is true like I was saying that they Y carries a spiritual infection then it’s especially true. Everything to do with how bodies form is just variation. It’s really hard to see this though because it’s all made so confusing. It makes sense the way you put it how they made the way to “girl dick” with that line of thinking that physically failed males are female, so socially failed makes are too.

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  28. bronte, do you have a sense about how serious this is or is going to get? Will this be what takes us all out, or 1/3 of us or whatever, that people have been waiting to happen all this time? I watched the YT vid you recommended. The journalist seemed legit, I got a weird feeling about the guy being interviewed but who knows. Thank you for the sources.


  29. I wondered where that comment had disappeared to and then was grateful it had because I do so much reading on geopolitical sites (non-corporate) that I am unfit to be in mainstream-thinking company these days. I remain silent.

    However, on the seriousness of the coronavirus-19?

    From the reading I’ve been doing on sites I trust for reliability, it seems that the virus was only killing those with Chinese DNA @ the rate of about 3-4%; most of those elderly people. Even the first American victim was a Chinese American. Not caucasian. (The mainstream corporate media/propaganda machine was not telling us this.)

    However, it seems that the virus has perhaps mutated (as viruses do) during its spread to Italy, Iran and elsewhere around the world. It is now also killing those with non-Chinese DNA, but mainly the elderly with pre-existing, serious medical conditions; also about the rate of 3-4%. Perhaps those deaths being reported in Italy are not even due to corona virus at all? I trust nothing in the mainstream news.

    My impression today (for what it’s worth) is that younger (pre-pension age), healthy/healthier people will have no or few problems with it. (About 1-1.5% death rate.) In perspective, the Spanish flu of 1918 (?) killed around 20% of those infected (about 50 million across the world) and was indiscriminate age-wise.

    So, no, I don’t think that this is an “event” intended to take out a third of us. It may be a nothing burger given that the Chinese seem to have successfully contained it. As best is humanly possible.
    The next six months will tell, especially what happens in the southern continents such as Australia, South Africa and South America across the winter there.
    Nevertheless, this southern continent winter, beginning now, I will be taking large daily doses of Vitamin C, zinc, and the entire array of anti-viral herbs and foods such as garlic, elderberry, ginger, green tea etc.

    Stay away from hospitals if you can help it. Rate of infection is higher there. If you are reclusive like me, all the better. If you eat organic, better still. If you have no problems with your respiratory system, and have never been a smoker, better still. This is all we can reasonably do.

    As for the guy on the YT video, he gave me bad vibes, as well: both untrustworthy and unbalanced.
    However, other journalists who have proven to be correct in the past are agreeing with him.
    For example, Peter Koenig with “China Is Confronting the Covid-19 Epidemic”, which is the best article I’ve found so far @

    Liked by 3 people

  30. Thanks for that! I emailed you at your WP associated email address. I kept it short in case it’s a throwaway addy you don’t check. Thanks for your perspective on COVID19. I too have been hearing that it was specifically killing genetically Chinese males. But I’ve heard that it was killing healthy people including a shitload of doctors. So who knows. Maybe the global dimming paradox will be what does it, even if the virus itself isnt virulent globally. You are right that time will tell. Thanks for reading and commenting!

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  31. Re: “Weird. I thought the air pollution was one of the main causes of global warming? But it’s also keeping it from warming?”

    Anotherwomaninhell, I witnessed this “dimming” effect on the sun in miniature this last December and January.

    Living in Sydney (summer just finished in Australia), when all the smoke haze from the bushfires around us descended on the city and you could not see more than a few metres (yards) in front of you, temperatures dropped as well.
    Weather forecasters on the evening news would say, “40C maximum tomorrow (104 Fahrenheit) with high humidity” and it would turn out to be 25C or 77F. That is a 15C degree difference (27 in Fahrenheit), which is huge.
    When unexpected heavy rains came in February and washed away the dense smoke haze, the 100F days returned. A total insanity of a summer.

    I am not looking forward to witnessing this happening on a global scale.

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  32. That is terrifying Bronte. The pictures from Australia were such a nightmare to see. I probably would not have even been able to stand going outside with all that smoke. I start having trouble with the air pollution as soon as I’m too far away from the coast as here the ocean takes a lot of it away and I’m okay. It really limits where I would even be able to live. I can’t take the cold either so most of the US just seems like a freezing pollution filled torture. Most places start to make me sick if I’m there for more then a week or so.

    I definitely agree all the various genetic and environmental experiments and poisoning will kill us long before global warming. The massive industrial pollution + Monsanto spreading GMOs everywhere has made so many people so sick already. It’s much more pressing than the climate changing because it’s already happening on a massive scale but it’s never even spoken about in the mainstream. I see the focus on only climate change as a distraction from what’s already happening.

    I see the sadism as like a spiritual virus in a sense. I don’t think any women are born with it, though we can’t really be sure because we can’t see anywhere that women aren’t subjected to male influence. But a certain percentage of males are always born with it and it seems to be pretty consistent everywhere and throughout time. What seems to happen is that as soon as a group gets big enough for there to be enough of the sadists, they take control. Small tribes have some limiting factors in place, they reward sharing and shame greed. Even when they are cool with men beating their wives they at least have some limits on it. But when there’s too many people all hell breaks loose, the sadists do whatever they want and they spread the sadism to other men and sometimes to women too.

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  33. Interesting comments about Sydney, Bronte71. I’ve been staying there for the last few months, and noticed the same thing. ‘Breath the smoke, stay cool’.


  34. Re: “Breath the smoke, stay cool.”

    Indeed. My lungs will never be the same.
    The 15C degree disparity between forecast and reality was the worst I noticed, with even the .weather forecaster nonchalantly explaining to viewers about the dimming effect of the sun. He understands what is happening but could not say it: “This is the new normal, folks. It’s going to get a lot crazier from here so get used to it……..stay cool.”

    Re: “…all the various genetic and environmental experiments and poisoning will kill us long before global warming.”

    I came to that conclusion watching what was happening in the bushland around where I live. The pollinating insects have disappeared. The birds and other wildlife have less/little/nothing to eat. (I feed them.) There are no bees, no butterflies, not even flies. It’s eery watching “The Silent Spring” around you as in the 1970’s book..

    We are not supposed to believe in the “conspiracy theory” that there is geoengineering of the climate occurring (spraying of the skies with aluminium, barium, etc.) but I see no other explanation. And I know when men believe they are smarter than nature and begin “repairing things”, disaster occurs.

    Paraphrasing something I read some years back: “For we live in the Age of Psychopathy.”

    Studies done over the last two decades indicate our “leaders” in all fields (politics, business, law, medicine, healthcare, engineering, technology, media etc) are, in high proportions, psychopaths.
    The brains of psychopaths under MRI scans show anomalies in the limbic system/amygdala. They experience no empathy. They are like an inter-species predator, preying on all of us with normal (empathetic) brains.

    Unfortunately, women can be psychopaths, as well, although not in as great a proportion as men.
    If interested, there is a book on this spiritual disease of sadism/psychopathy titled “Political Ponerology” authored by Andrew M. Lobaczewski, available free online.

    Liked by 3 people

  35. I feel that sadism is inherently male ( where maleness=’ lack of femaleness ‘), and that females forced to live in a highly male-charged male energy field can be influenced similarly to how magnetic energy fields operate.

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  36. That’s an interesting perspective Mary. I keep hearing about magnetic fields and how misunderstood yet how important they are, and how they affect living things, esp living things with brains. Thanks for giving me something to think about. ❤

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  37. Mary, I wish I could agree with you, but I can’t anymore, despite having been a ferocious defender of all women almost my entire life. Too many events over the last fifteen years have forced me to do a triage of “who can I trust and who should I be wary of because this is a matter of life and death. And my sanity. What is my strong gut feeling -based on available evidence – telling me?”

    Some years ago on her blog, FCM did an analysis of Gerder Lerner’s book, The History of Patriarchy; wherein Lerner postulated that some women would have to have been complicit in the creation of patriarchy. I’ve been pondering this ever since.

    Anotherwomaninhell wrote: “What seems to happen is that as soon as a group gets big enough for there to be enough of the sadists, they take control.”

    This is where I am with my own thinking via experiences. The Alaskan Inuit Eskimos who Anotherwomaninhell is describing, used to name the psychopaths/sadists in their tribes Kunlangeta.
    The lying, cheating, stealing, lazy, woman-molesting, malicious, dominating, controlling, manipulative, conniving, evil individuals were easily spotted in such tribes of about 150 and were generally taken out on a hunting trip and pushed off the ice into freezing water. Good riddance.
    With the creation of large agricultural societies, those small tribes who could monitor each individual, were lost.
    Therefore, today, we have the Kunlangeta in positions of power because they manipulate, connive and lie so well that they are almost impossible to spot unless you know how to look for them.

    I was full-time carer for a very sick elderly mother over the past seven years. It was the medical profession that hastened her death and caused much of her illness and dementia. In particular, I remember one female doctor who set off all my warning bells of “incompetent, lying sadist.” I wasn’t wrong.


  38. Lots of tribal groups did that kind of stuff or were just so intolerable of the sadistic and greedy behavior they shamed them and forced them into being cooperative with others. There’s a certain point where groups get too big where things get out of control. I think it’s been determined to be about 300.

    I do believe that sadism is something inherently male and comes from an evil energy attached to the Y. I describe it as demonic because I can’t think of a better word but I don’t mean it to do with the Christian stuff.

    I believe what we all are deep down is pure loving energy. Something has become attached to the Y gene that I see as like a living entity, like a virulent demonic force that infects them. It’s not so simple as that “men are bad, women are good” though. This obviously isn’t true. There are plenty of women who are pieces of shit and men who manage to be decent caring people. But when you look at the whole picture it becomes so much clearer. Despite any individual men who are good, there is something severely wrong with all of them and their energy has been infused throughout everything, with the most evil, with the most concentrated demonic energy, seizing control and spreading their evilness.

    Women are more resistant to the evil energy as it comes already bound to the Y and we aren’t born with it. But women can still “catch the virus” and become sadists too from being immersed in the infected energy. The things men do are so horrific it can’t really be explained by “nature is cruel, survival, etc.” Raping day old babies isn’t going to help them survive or pass on their genes. There’s something evil in them. I think even the worst women who are infected with it still can’t even come up with some of this shit that they do. Whenever you think you’ve heard it all and can’t be shocked, there’s always something more awful and insane that some of them are doing.

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  39. Yes even if some women were complicit at the very beginning of patriarchy, say 10,000 years ago, men’s evil energy/magnetic field or whatever could still be to blame. It’s not as if what we are calling “patriarchy” sprouted up in a moment with nothing leading up to it, patriarchy was just the codification of what men were already doing, pretty much globally. If bronte was saying that sadistic women existed at the beginning of patriarchy, and therefore they weren’t under male influence at the time bc there was no patriarchal regime at the time, I don’t think that’s correct if men have always been like this. And it kind of seems like they have been.

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  40. Yes I think that all male organisms carry the infection and men were like this before they were even men. It’s just that human males have been able to really run with the evil due to human intelligence and ability.

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  41. I admit to confirmation bias in regards to the possible sadism/psychopathy of a small proportion of women in society because of one certain female family member. Did not mean to offend anyone.

    Liked by 1 person

  42. Definitely not offensive, there are for sure female sadists. I judge them much worse too because men are already dumber and prone to evil. A woman willing to join in on the evil is even worse.

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  43. I’m being way more offensive over on the mother-shaming post if anyone wants to be truly offended lol. I didn’t take offense to anything you said. You used the example of a woman doctor being a sadist. I don’t doubt that she was. Female Western medical doctors are disgusting and I have said before that the world would be better off if all doctors committed suicide, even the women. I still mean that. Fuck them honestly.

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  44. Also, my mom is a sadist. Absolutely. My sister has thought for years that our mom suffers from Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy bc of the way she has let Western medicine abuse us, and bc she seems to enjoy it. But I think Mary could still be correct, that she is under the magnetic field of maleness. A lot of women are. It’s hard to avoid, plus some women marinate in a very potent patriarchal environment more than most women do. Nurses and doctors would certainly fit the bill. Lawyers too for that matter. My mom is a nurse BTW.

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  45. It’s so hard in online communication to judge whether a comment may be offensive to anyone or not.
    And I, too, judge female sadists worse than men for joining in on the evil.
    As for all doctors…..Pfft!

    On the Coronavirus front, people here are going crazy buying up everything in the supermarkets for possible self-quarantine for extended time. I haven’t seen so much hysteria since I lived in Europe but they had an excuse: memories of World War 2 and starvation.

    Most of the news is fear-mongering but how much of that is truth?
    So it’s off to the shops tomorrow for my own stocking up otherwise there may be no food left in the country. Only half joking.
    It’s going to be long, hard fall/winter flu season here because of all the hysteria. You are lucky in the US with summer coming because viruses don’t like sunshine and heat.

    Liked by 2 people

  46. We have Fukushima radiation here though, which will probably mutate any viruses we already have. Awesome! My food stamps dont come til the 6th so I cant buy anything just yet. We were already having food shortages here esp organic meat and produce. I’ve been noticing the meat section dwindling for a couple of years, and the last 6 months or so the produce is dwindling as well. I’ve even heard people speculate that the virus and ensuing panic could be being used deliberately to hide severe incoming food shortages that were already baked-in due to the flooding and other things we have had the past year. No one will be surprised to see empty shelves bc they were expecting it, and will blame it on panic buying when really it would’ve happened anyway and everyone wouldve been like WTF? It’s so hard to know whats even real. But its always a good idea to have something in the pantry just in case. Good luck to you with winter coming. Being a shut-in definitely has its advantages. 😀

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  47. Re: Male-created electro-magnetic energy fields and what they do to the human body.

    When MarySunshine mentioned male magnetic energy fields before I don’t think that what follows is what she meant.
    I didn’t want to mention this before because I don’t really understand it yet and have no views on it. I’ll have to read and try to understand more.
    It has to do with Coronavirus being 5G-related, ie: symptoms and deaths caused by the radiation and oxygen-stealing effects of 5G; for which Wuhan was the test city.

    If interested, the best article I’ve found so far (there are lots) is “Coronavirus Hoax: Fake Virus Epidemic Fabricated to Cover-Up Global Outbreak of 5G Syndrome” @
    I don’t know how reliable that site is.

    or, on Youtube: “The Best News re Corona Virus You’ve Heard All Month: Kinda” by Daria Ashlie.

    Liked by 1 person

  48. Probably the Youtube video to watch first to explain 5G and its effects would be the documentary by Sacha Stone titled: “5G Apocalypse-The Extinction Event.”……..Wow. So much doom and apocalypse everywhere.
    I’m glad I’ve never had a so-called smart phone because I was suspicious of them instinctively. Now I understand.


  49. Have you done any research on vaccines and what they are putting in those? I was looking at stuff with people talking about vaccines and I just saw someone saying this; “I was actually told by a vet that this is why they always try to inject the leg not shoulder or scruff of neck now, because “you can amputate a leg but the neck is tricky.”” Then people were talking about all the tumors and lumps their animals got after vaccinations. I’m about to take one of my cats to the vet in a few days and I don’t get most of the vaccines they want to give them and only get the rabies one that you’re supposed to keep them updated on but I’m pretty scared about just getting that one. It freaks me out to have them inject anything into my cats, I know they’re coming from such evil companies.

    The amount of vaccines they want to give everyone now is frightening. It’s so much more kids are getting now and they are getting so strict to mandate it. There are all these people who believe in the safety of vaccines so strongly even if they will see other stuff about the evil people in charge there’s no questioning of vaccines allowed.

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  50. Re: “Have you done any research on vaccines and what they are putting in those?”

    Unfortunately only very little research on human vaccines and the metals such as mercury and aluminium they contain.

    Until the day before 9/11 I had my darling Intrepid Cat (my nickname for her in Italian) when I lived in Europe. It was mandatory there to vaccinate cats with something called Trivac (3 vaccinations in one) so I had no choice.
    I don’t know what the situation is where you are. We are stuck- alone- between a rock and a hard place when making decisions for beloved animals, children, and elderly parents we may be caring for.

    When my mother died recently I continued to berate myself with, “Could I have done more? I should have done more. What did I do wrong? I should have researched more. I should have…..etc, etc.”
    When I was a child I wanted to be a neuroscientist in order to “find out why so many people were bad and cure them.’ I berated myself for not being that neuroscientist today with specialized knowledge..and a rebellious (rad feminist) character to break the rules of orthodoxy.

    I wake up with nightmares of my mother’s last weeks when she did not even know who I was yet
    she still understood enough to call out my name and she understood that she was loved, cared for and safe.

    I now understand that I did the best I could under impossible conditions. And that is the only thing you can do, as well.
    The only thing that kept me sane over past years was finding two US websites with commentary from very intelligent women surviving my same situation, with clever, commonsense and sometimes radical ideas which worked.

    Are there any such websites that you can find? With other people struggling with your same dilemma?

    The number of vaccines they are giving children is terrifying. I have an acquaintance who refuses it but I don’t know what she will do when her two children reach school age. Bribe a doctor to sign off on vaccinations never received? I’m sure some people are doing this even though Australia turned into George Orwell’s authoritarian and Big Brother Paradise while I was away.

    I’m glad you find Politcal Ponerology interesting. It’s a hard slog of a book, boring and dated in places but a lot of people “awakened from the Matrix” keep recommending it. Which is how I found it……Much love.

    Liked by 3 people

  51. Re: More on human vaccines related to the Corona Virus, with added micro-chips in order to better control us.

    I don’t know if you have heard of or read the UN’s 2030 Agenda.
    It used to be called Agenda 21 but the newer version is on steroids. Some people call it a “conspiracy theory” – thankyou See Eye Ay for successfully weaponizing a term that disparages critical thinkers.
    However, this particular “conspiracy theory” is United Nations mandated, it came into global effect in January 2016, and its full title is “Transforming Our World: the 2030 Agenda for Sustainable Development.”

    It’s easy to find on the web but needs correct attire to translate correctly: a whimsical designer tin foil hat and rad fem reading glasses. Mary Daly sitting next to you while you sip wine, laugh, and blow raspberries at the New World Order would also help.

    Agenda 2030 is George Orwell’s 1984 and Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World put together, while we all sit around the global fire all happy clappy and sing Kumbaya together.

    FCM on her blog years ago did a wonderful analysis of 1984, questioning why men permitted its publication because it was so transparent.
    My answer: because it’s a How To Manual for our global elite who do not believe that the unwashed, uneducated prole masses (us) are capable of understanding that.

    And vaccines?

    Today’s Corona Virus may be the pretext for vaccinating entire populations against something that may be just a normal flu with the rest one enormous, fear-mongering Psyop. If this comes about the vaccine will also contain a micro-chip because micro-chipping the entire world of proles has been on the global elite’s agenda for a very long time. (Please read David Rockefeller’s autobiography. He states this quite clearly.)

    To watch are the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation and the WHO (World Health Organisation.)

    I’m beyond the point of caring anymore. Bring it on. Let’s see how your great Global Psychopathic Control Grid works for humanity; hastening the demise of the entire species on a dying planet.

    Liked by 1 person

  52. Anti-vax is the one area in which I have seen criticism of Big Pharma and Big Medicine. And I’ve seen so many radical feminists shitting on anti-vaxxers bc they are “anti science” which is the new bat liberals get to batter everyone with because “science” supports abortion and global warming so it must be good and pure and true for everything. Leaving alone that “science” notoriously dismisses 99% of the evidence women have of our own condition, which we have always used to inform and support feminist consciousness raising and activating: women’s own lived experience, otherwise known as anecdotal evidence. “Science” is too good and pure to care what real women experience every day, but it’s reliable on every issue even issues that directly affect women like Big Medicine, including vaccines. Maybe someday “radical” feminists will get around to putting some actual radicalism in their feminism? Or is that too much to fucking ask?

    Liked by 3 people

  53. Also, I remember reading an article on cat vaccines that said clearly and directly that if your cat is autoimmune, you should not vaccinate it bc the vaccines will make them sicker. How anyone is supposed to know their cat is autoimmune BEFORE they get their first vaccinations as kittens is left up to our imaginations. And I can’t find that article again no matter how much I try. Anyway it seems as if its common knowledge and practice to not make AI cats worse with vaccines, but vaccines are perfectly fine and have nothing to do with autoimmunity for other mammals including humans? Anti-vaxxers have said there was a connection between vaccinations and AI humans for a long time and no one believes them but apparently vets don’t have to hide this connection and its well known…except that articles may or may not be being scrubbed from the internet that talk about it.

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  54. Bronte I’m sorry about your mom. My dad killed himself a few years ago and I felt so guilty like I should have done something to prevent it. Even though I was severely ill and in serious need of help myself and couldn’t really actually tell a stubborn old man anything he should be doing anyway and besides would have no idea what he should do. He didn’t talk to me for years at time, I would call and text him and never get an answer. I went by his apartment a few times here and there but he wasn’t home and I would leave a note to call your daughter. The last time I saw him was when he came to visit me and give me a present for my 30th birthday. I had been living in the house I was in for about 2 years and he hadn’t even seen it yet. I never saw or heard from him after that and he killed himself 6 months later. I was so angry with him and I didn’t know why he just cut himself off from my life like that for years with no explanation. When I saw him the last time I wanted to ask him what the hell he was doing and why he would never answer me but I couldn’t bring myself to. I was too hurt by then. When he left the house I had this horrible fear like I would never see him again and then I didn’t. After he killed himself when my mom and I went through his disgusting destroyed apartment it painted such a picture. There were all these medical records he had something wrong with him, there was a letter he was writing to his job because they had drastically cut his hours and he needed to work more, there were so many piles of accumulated beer and vodka containers amongst the mounds of garbage, and everything in the apartment was a disgusting mess. I’ll never forget seeing the stains on the floor of where his bodily fluids sunk into the wood under the carpet after he was sitting in his chair unnoticed for days. It’s one of the things that haunts me whenever horrible images run through my head. He clearly needed help and the medical system was doing what it does, draining people of everything and not helping them.

    He was a delivery driver for most of his life and I never understood why. He was intelligent and had a bachelor’s degree. His dad was a wallstreet dude earning good money. He was extremely antisocial and difficult but that doesn’t stop men from being able to get good jobs and be able to have people leave them the fuck alone. A while after he died my mom said how his dad got him a job with his wallstreet stuff when he was young and he quit shortly after and did delivery stuff where he just could drive around unbothered delivering stuff and he told her that “it’s honest work.” Suddenly my dad’s life made total sense to me. Whatever was going on at that wallstreet place was too awful for him to take. He was only able to do jobs that earned him a meager living because he couldn’t participate in something evil, which most things are in this system. He just wanted to be left alone and read and cook and feed whatever people and animals wanted fed.

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  55. I always wanted to be a scientist my whole life. I went to school learning about all the social sciences and a lot about biological and environmental sciences. I thought I could be a researcher and learn things that could change the world and really help people and animals and our environment to live better. I poured my whole life into it getting advanced degrees. I am now “anti-science.” Science no longer exists. It’s all a trick. The most sociopathic men and the shittiest women who have supported them have made up their own evil narrative and called it science. I have become extremely angry and hateful having been fed such lies. I don’t trust a word that anyone in charge of anything says. I always knew things were fucked up but it gets worse and worse like I could have never possibly imagined before learning so much.


  56. What happened to your cat on 9/11?

    It is mandatory to give rabies vaccine here in the US but they don’t know what you do unless you are taking the animal into something. One of my cats has never had a single health problem so I haven’t taken her into the doctor for a check up in years because me and my other two cats have had so much to take care of. I feel bad like I’m neglecting her and she should have a check up but she is probably better off not getting one, IDK. My other girl is having tummy problems and I need to take her to get checked out. They will want to do vaccines and may require the rabies in order to treat her. I’m not sure because I’ve never rejected that one before. They are inside cats and I feel like the vaccines are more dangerous because they are not ever going to be exposed to strange animals.


  57. Re: Anti-vax, Big Pharma and Big Medicine.

    Am definitely in the Anti-vax camp because it is part of Big Pharma and Big Medicine. Their business model is MBA management school for-profit-only-and-to-hell-with-the-rest.

    I used to be pro-science but no longer. When I was at school – not so long ago, really- they drummed into girl’s minds that we were not intelligent enough for math and science. That’s one of the reasons I wanted to be a neuroscientist. It was the most difficult medical subject I was interested in and the field closed to women at that time.
    I used to be one of those effortless A-plus student nerds who didn’t look like a nerd (“Gee. You look just like a Playboy centerfold. And the blonde hair? How come you’re so smart?” )

    Men think that comments such as the last are “compliments” so I used to dream of being the “dumb Playboy magazine blonde” at medical school who wiped the floor with the playboys.
    Fear of rape at university eventually kept me out. It was a real fear. I was warned by other ‘dumb blonde Playboy centerfold” girls who had gone through it that I would be a target. It’s still happening today.

    The deep contempt of and condescension towards women I encountered in the medical profession and hospitals over the last decade whilst caring for another woman made me gasp in almost-disbelief. There was no man around. Just one woman and her elderly mother.

    I used to think to myself, “You still believe I’m a dumb blonde bunny to play with, don’t you? Albeit aged.”
    It made things so much harder. The hatred now is cellular deep, because this “dumb blonde” had to spend so much time researching to try and avoid more of their medical malpractice on an elderly woman.
    Germaine Greer is correct: “Try being an old woman if you want to know about contempt for women.”

    The only thing that scares the docs these days is threatening legal action and I used that tactic… well as telling them their IQ appeared to be about sub-normal 90 and “how much did you bribe your university to get through medical school?”
    I stopped caring if I offended anyone.

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  58. Anotherwomaninhell: “What happened to your cat on 9/11?”

    She died the day before. From what, I don’t know. She fell ill a few days before, I took her to one vet, they did tests and discovered nothing. Incompetence? Then I took her to another vet but she died in my arms before he could see her. I went hysterical which is not me. It was the most painful day of my life up to that point, so much so that I’m not sure I can ever have another cat again. 9/11 will always represent the day after my beloved black beauty died because my heart went through a demolition just like the three buildings in NYC.

    Re: cat vaccinations.

    If your cat lives indoors there “should” be no reason for rabies vaccines. Where I am, cats wander outside into the garden, next door and into the bushland where there are possums and foxes, the only reason for rabies shots.
    As for vets- which are necessary for tummy problems- can you “play dumb” if the vet asks about up-to-date vaccination schedules?

    I’ve found this tactic useful sometimes. I figured long ago that if men and their authoritarian bureaucracies insist on treating me like a dumb blonde then I will use that to my advantage when/if necessary.
    I’ve sometimes pretended fake forgetfulness when trying to avoid something I don’t want to do, whilst flapping my arms around like a ‘helpless female’, and changing my voice to that of a breathless Marilyn Monroe.
    Flummox and distract them with fake stupidity has often been my MO.

    “Oh, I have that vaccination book somewhere. But I forget where. I’m sure it’s up to date. Can I get back to you on this?….Meanwhile, we have the tummy problem to resolve, shall we? Kitty is feeling so bad. And I’m running so late for another appointment…..Gosh, I just can’t seem to get my act together these days. So much to do, so little time.”

    Then never get back to them on the matter. If they call to insist, change vets. Find an “organic vet” if you can.
    When I used to live in NYC I was amazed at the “alternative and natural medicine” vets they had for cats there. The west coast of the US should be full of them. If not, rural vets who deal with horses etc. may be better simply because they’re not so hung up on following government rules. At least here in Australia.

    I’m so sorry to hear about your father. Losing anyone you care about is so hard and we never get over it, really.
    Men tend to deal with illness/depression and other things in such a different way to women. My step-father (who I hated for good reasons) imploded when he was diagnosed with a serious medical condition. He killed himself later.

    It seems to be the male way to deal with things.


  59. I’ve never encountered the whole “hot women can’t be smart thing.” What I’ve seen now is that “smart hottie” is just another porn category for men like everything else. Every single detail about us is something for them to jerk off about. If you are a mom, you’re a milf and they’ll jerk off about that. Have blonde hair? You’re a hot blonde and they’ll jerk off about that. Have brunette hair? You’re a hot brunette for them to jerk off too. It’s just like women keep saying how all they’ve done in expanding acceptance of different types of women is just about expanding the view of which women are fuckable.

    I actually felt the safest going to college than anywhere else. No one ever said or did anything the slightest bit uncomfortable to me the entire time I went. BUT I never went to parties or much of anything aside from class and was only there after dark a couple times. The college environment sure as hell has improved because I don’t recognize the things older women say from my experiences there, but the rest of the world still hates us so what I see is it has set women up for even more of a shock finding out how awful things are once we understand. I grew up hearing all about “girl power” and that women can do everything and everything is changing to be so great now. It’s obvious a lot of that isn’t true but it made it really hard to grasp just how bad things really are.

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  60. My dog died on 12-21-12, the date when people were saying it was the apocalypse bc of the Mayan calendar. It has now become like that for me in my head like 9/11 was with your cat. A big part of my world did end that day, I grew up with her and barely knew what it was like to live without her.

    Yes it does seem to just be the male way to “deal” with things to cut themselves off from people. And they often have weapons and are just better at killing than us so it works if they try to kill themselves.


  61. We are also some how just supposed to know about allergies to vaccines before they do them. They say not to do vaccines for someone if they are allergic to any of the ingredients but who knows what’s in this crap and whether anyone is allergic to any of it. We are expected to guess if there are any allergies or apparently if there’s any autoimmune stuff going on and these things are both so widespread now affecting massive amounts of the population who have autoimmune stuff and/or serious allergies. So thinking about that this push for even more vaccinations is going to wreak even more havoc on the population.

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  62. Re: Allergies to vaccines.

    Now there’s a possibility. Could you tell a sympathetic vet that your cat is allergic to vaccines and almost died the last time?

    And -oy- that wasn’t boasting before. My self-opinion is “If I’m supposed to be so smart, then why do I continue to do so many stupid things?”
    Achievement expectations were so very low that you could almost sleep through classes and still get A in exams.
    If you managed to get through all reading materials then you were considered almost a genius. When I got to Europe I suddenly found myself surrounded by truly brilliant minds. It was such a pleasure.

    I grew up during the last part of second wave feminism. In Australia remember: an anti-intellectual place.
    There was supposed to be no such thing as a “smart hottie”. You were either a “dog” (smart but considered not attractive enough for men) or a “top sheila”.
    If you exhibited any form of intelligence as a “top sheila” then men would abuse you with insults and sneers as “who the f… do you think you are?” or “get back into your place.”
    I still remember Germaine Greer on television at that time: a “top sheila” who received horrendous treatment by the media.

    Fortunately, things have improved since then.


  63. Re: Onset of Crohn’s and other Autoimmune diseases due to Electromagnetic Hypersensitivity Syndrome.

    CR, Esquire, Mary Sunshine mentioned male magnetic fields before and she made me curious about what she meant exactly. When I was still dating men, one person I dated was an acknowledged genius in electromagnetic fields and other things. NASA hated him because he refused to work for them. (By the way, NASA is part of the Military Complex or the War Industry.)
    Anyway, the man in question was with the European Space Agency working on the first ESA satellite communication system which he called Signal to Noise.
    My nickname for the genius in question was Dr. Strangelove……like the movie.

    So I decided to start reading about electromagnetism. Lo and behold.
    What I found made me think of you because of the following:

    “Dr. Blank, a professor at Columbia University and researcher in bioelectromagnetism explains that our cells have a stressful reaction to artificial electromagnetic fields as they do with other environmental toxins.

    The human DNA functions as an antenna which receives even low power, low and high frequency signals and produces stress proteins……Chronic production of stress proteins, as is the case with constant exposure to multiple sources of radiation exhausts the immune system and leads to the appearance of autoimmune diseases such as rheumatoid arthritis, Crohn’s Lyme, lupus, disease Crohn, multiple sclerosis, diabetes, etc.”

    While reading the above I immediately thought of you and wondered when exactly your Crohn’s disease started worsening. Were you in a work environment surrounded by a lot of microwave technology, cell phone towers etc. at the time?

    You are a lawyer and this hypersensitivity to electromagnetism is going to get much much worse in the future, with people in Europe already prosecuting.

    If interested, the article I have cited is titled “Electrohypersensitivity: What You Need to Know about the Allergy of the 21st Century.”
    It can be found @

    Liked by 2 people

  64. I started getting worse when I worked in NYC lol. So, yes. Before that I was always able to control it with all the many things I’ve talked about here before. Eventually I started working downtown, a block over from the World Trade Center site which is contaminated with who knows what. But now that you mention it, I ended up in the hospital for the first time in the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy. It started getting worse and worse the week leading up to it and I thought I had a kidney stone or a hernia. Do you follow Judy Wood and her work on the WTC disaster? She thinks there was a directed energy weapon involved and that it had something to do with the hurricane off the coast of NYC/Long Island on 9/11. Most people didn’t even know there was a hurricane that week, let alone that day. The whole thing is just completely bizarre. I wonder if they tried to blast Hurricane Sandy with something. But then after I lost my apartment I had to move back in with my ex’s mom who lived right next to a cell phone tower and I just kept getting worse and worse. I have said here before that at the worst, in addition to all the GI symptoms, I felt like every cell in my body was vibrating. I’ve heard a couple of other AI patients say the same thing. The woman who wrote the rational suicide note experienced the vibrations as well, they are hideous and that’s when I seriously started considering suicide myself. The sensations coupled with insomnia was unbearable. I left with one suitcase and never went back which in addition to needing medicine that was illegal in NY at the time, I also figured was an avoidance behavior from PTSD. But I wonder if there was something else there worth avoiding at all costs. I mean, of course there were many things, it was an urban cesspool. And full of this electromagnetic pollution you mention. Thanks for the sources.

    Liked by 1 person

  65. Also, I can’t discuss dead pets bc its too sad. But I’m glad you are discussing. I’m sure I will “go hysterical” when that time comes and I’m not looking forward to it. And my cats are bonded with each other so it will be terrible for the one that’s left. It’s too awful to think about.


  66. Yes it is too awful to think about! I’ve just recently been sort of okay to not break down when I think about my sweet little angels who have left me. Especially my two cats who were killed because some horrible man let loose vicious dogs. That happened only about 6 months after my dog’s death so it was all the more painful. It absolutely terrifies me worrying about my remaining cats. I love them so much. They are my hope and sanity in this world.


  67. I’ve been trying to remember what this movie I saw was called because I was reminded I was reminded of it with the talk of the male created energy fields. It’s driving me crazy now. I’m going to have to ask people on the internet what it was. A group of 5 or so scientists, all women, go into this area that has been genetically altered by energy fields running through everything and combining the DNA of all the living beings in the area creating a bunch of mutants.

    Our bodies are definitely being affected by all these unnatural energy fields being created. Who knows in what ways. I’m sure there’s lots more happening than what we can see.

    I have felt that every cell is vibrating feeling as well when I was at the worst I felt. It was like every single molecule in my body was being ripped apart and I remember feeling like I had to concentrate to literally hold my body together or I would be torn apart. I am also very sensitive to all these electrical frequencies all around and can often hear them. City life feels like being immersed in poison in every way.


  68. Bronte I know that feeling so well that if I’m supposed to be so smart why do I continue to do so many stupid things?! It makes me feel like most people really must be stupid because I’m one of the smart ones and already feel dumb as hell.

    The US is mostly very anti intellectual but no one cares if you are an intellectual to say anything, they are all busy watching reality TV and football and getting drunk. The whole smart hottie thing is just another way to make women seem harmless. Women’s intelligence isn’t a threat because they are still just there to fuck and masturbate to.

    I’m a southerner on the east coast. There’s some natural health stuff but we’re still way behind other places. I don’t really trust that natural doctors really know what they are doing either because they are still doctors in this evil system and have all gone through some brainwashing. I’m sure a lot are just selling nonsense to people too that doesn’t do anything. So hard knowing who to trust when everything is built on this system where everything is dependent on money and therefore lies.

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  69. Re: “Do you follow Judy Wood and her work on the WTC disaster?”

    I watched one of Judy’s videos some time back and placed the information in one corner of my mind (on my Global Big Picture story board) with a “need more info here. Let’s see how this develops” neuro-sticker on it.
    I will go back tonight and re-watch what I can find on DEW (Directed Energy Weapons.)

    However, I no longer disregard the existence and use of destructive weaponry designed and deployed in secret by the Military Industrial Complex. Neither should anyone else disregard.

    One thing I’ve learned beyond doubt about psychopaths and those who work for them: it is in their code of behavior to tell the proles/victims what they are doing, be it terrorism, eco-terrorism, weaponry etc….Only they do it in ways that are almost always disregarded as “coincidence” or “No, I’m just imagining this” or “silly conspiracy theory” in order to have plausible deniability.

    There are no coincidences in geopolitics and war.

    I used to date that European Space Agency physicist. I would today call him the “love and earthquake of my life” were I not a feminist because he’s the only man in the world who has ever made me truly laugh and respected any intelligence I may have. He never talked down to me or lied to me, no matter how ugly the truth. And it was.
    We had matching senses of humor- comedy film wacky and OTT – that freaked other people out. He taught me a lot of things about the world, unable to say too much because of “classified.”

    He used to call himself “the new Isaac Newton and Superman.” Modesty was not his forte. “I can play with gravity however I want.” Today I do not doubt him.
    He once told me, paraphrasing, “You would not believe what is being designed by people like me. It isn’t science fiction because we have the science……but you’re too pure to understand.
    You haven’t been dirtied by the world, yet.”

    Come tell me now, Superman. I’m dirtied. Were you a fascinating psychopath Dr. Strangelove or had you just been driven crazy by the world you worked in? And did I mention earthquakes before?

    Did you know that it is the See Eye Ay in the US, MI6 in the UK, and equivalent agencies in Europe and Australia that control the “news” that the Western media dishes out as “prole feed/pig slop” to us everyday via the corporate media? I don’t care how much or how often those agencies scream “conspiracy theory” and “don’t look here because there’s nothing to see” because the more they scream, the harder I’ll look to see what they are trying to hide.

    They can’t hide everything because there are a lot of people way smarter than me who are also looking.

    Re: Hurricane Sandy, the Japanese earthquake/tsunami presently radiating the Pacific Ocean and what else?

    I will have to continue in a Part 2 because this is too long already.


  70. HAARP: Secret Weapons used for Electromagnetic Warfare and Weather Modification.

    A lot of people know about HAARP.
    I wouldn’t call it secret and it isn’t a haarp played by angels in heaven, although I raise an impressed toast with my glass of wine to the devils playing on that haarp in the ionosphere. The name was not a coincidence.
    How those earthly military devils are laughing at us. Cheers, guys, we’re on to your tricks.

    HAARP (High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program) initiated as an ionospheric research project funded by the usual suspects of the U.S Airforce, the U.S Navy, and DARPA (Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency.)

    HAARP is a grid of strong, electromagnetic waves and is suspected of weather modification experiments and causing deliberate environmental disasters around the world for geopolitical interests; chiefly the earthquake/tsunami of Fukushima that is currently irradiating the Pacific Ocean (oops…..minor collateral damage), the Haiti earthquake, Hurricane Sandy and who knows what else.

    Only “conspiracy theory”? The U.S Airforce actually admits it. Please read:

    “Airforce Bombshell: Admits They Can Control Weather- HAARP” @

    There are other articles @

    CR, Esquire; if it is true that HAARP (not DEW) was responsible for Hurricane Sandy, then what you were feeling before that event makes a hell of a lot of sense. Those were incredibly potent electromagnetic waves beingt used to create the hurricane. The sensation of every cell in your body vibrating is consistent with the sensitivity many people experience towards electromagnetic waves and the microwave radiation.

    I hope you are not sleeping with your “smart phone” or computer in the same room.

    I think I have found my new research project for the next months.

    Liked by 1 person

  71. Anotherwomaninhell: “If I am supposed to be so smart, then why do I continue to do so many stupid things?”

    It’s sometimes called Imposter Syndrome for women because of the society we live in.
    If we receive any type of accolade, we believe it is not deserved; most especially if we were brought up to be “perfect, over-achieving, well-mannered, self-effacing women.”
    Brought up in the southern states of the US you may understand. Steel Magnolias and all that. In my case it was Steel Madonnas because my ethnic/cultural heritage is Roman Catholic European.

    Then there is the Dunning-Kruger Effect; a cognitive bias by which people assess their intelligence greater than it actually is. Conversely, smarter people (or those who make considered decisions) always question their assumptions and believe themselves stupid.

    When I first read about the Dunning-Kruger Effect a million light bulbs blazed in my head: Halleluhah! I’m not a freak. There is actually something researched about someone like me! Maybe I’m not as stupid as I think.

    I am writing the following because every time I have read both CRE and you refer to yourselves as “white trash” I wince. I used to be referred to as “Vermin crawled out from the sewers of Europe to invade the country and steal our jobs and land” when I was a child in Australia. I was an immigrant refugee.

    To make matters worse I was declared a “gifted child” at the age of eight by the state education department after Stanford-Binet tests.
    A tri-lingual immigrant female with a high intelligence score was considered the very worst kind of travesty. Someone like me was not supposed to exist.
    They wanted to put me into what they termed an “experimental school for gifted in achievement and intelligence children.”

    However, I deliberately flunked the examinations for that school. I was testing the state Education Department to see how “gifted in achievement and intelligent” they were. If they were capable of understanding why the highest scorer in the state inexplicably failed an easy set of exams, then maybe they would “pass” in my books. They failed.

    The “gifted” has hung around my neck since then…..gifted in seeing the world for what it is.


  72. I don’t trust anything in mainstream news either. I generally, don’t bother with it but my husband loves to watch all the liberal comedy “news” channels and I get an eerie feeling from those channels now. It’s hard to articulate. Like I hear the narrative pushing the “herd” towards vaccines and other medical compliance. They joke about the corona virus by “sarcastically” screaming “plaaaaaaguuee” and everyone laughs….but you know that feels like it’s suppose to still sink in subliminally so that people WILL, out of fear, accept whatever vaccines/medical “treatments”/quarantines/lost of human rights that the authorities thrust upon us. Also, they are using Trump as a sort of anti-messiah. Like He’s obviously just a puppet, and he says whatever the Real Power tells him to say to make liberals squirm and run the other way with out even considering what they are running toward.


  73. HAARP is based in Gakona, Alaska. It looks like a huge field of thousands of antennas connected together in a grid pattern. It functions as an ionospheric heater and changes the shape of the ionosphere so that beamed energy of thousands of watts can be concentrated on a known spot: anywhere in the world.
    Doesn’t matter that HAARP is/was in Alaska. It’s the ionosphere it plays with and that may have been over Long Island.
    Basically, it’s ‘nuking’ the ionosphere which means that it also ‘nukes’ our cells.

    This is why I no longer bother with climate change. Surviving what comes before any possible global chaos with the climate is what I’m more fatigued with: the idea of the planet being blanketed with a thick web of electromagnetic waves and the skies with satellites beaming down their own 5G electromagnetics. No one will be able to escape it, and even those people who are not hypersensitive to electromagnetism today will feel ill constantly.

    As for Directed Energy Weapons? I’m going to stay away from 9/11 because too many people still accept the official government fairytale. It’s my litmus test argument for whom I will trust to speak with honestly.
    Anyone still in the trance of believing official narratives I shy away from; which is partly why I’m so reclusive.

    However, I noticed odd details with the recent bushfires in Australia. They were occurring in places that appeared to be targeted specifically. Over and over again. A distinct pattern emerged. Other people noticed.
    I don’t accept the official narrative of high fuel load on the ground because of drought. There was something more making those fires blaze like firemen have never seen before, and I tend to agree with those saying Directed Energy Weapons.

    You’ve seen the film They Live. No matter how off the wall and insane the idea of aliens living among us may sound, in more despairing moments, I entertain the idea. How do our global masters believe they will survive what they intend for us?

    In that hypersensitivity article I referenced, there is the story of a woman in the U.S who was so sensitive her husband had to build her a Faraday cage to live in. Later, she moved to a place in West Virginia which is a designated Silent Zone: no cell phone towers etc. I can see a lot of people moving to those kinds of remote regions and Silent Zones.


  74. I wonder about this too. I was watching a movie the other day (I’m not going to recommend it or name it, for other reasons) but there was an aboriginal male character in the story who was talking about how in his tribal/community, if there was a “bad” person, they would try to talk to the person and get them to be better, and if the “bad” person kept being bad then the community would just kill him. And I wonder if that’s even true about any(all?) aboriginal groups or even other indigenous groups in the world. It would make sense, right? Like either the women low-key SENSE that men have something off about them, and put a social code in place to prevent the worst of them from taking over, and/or the men KNOW deep down that they are fucked up and that they will inevitably have certain EXTRA fucked up males come into existence (and possibly still having some heart in them) don’t want their beloved community/culture ruined by the worst of what males has to offer. So the “bad” ones are killed. But then it makes me wonder, HOW would we know WHO are the “bad” ones? Because it would have to be worst ones who are the best at lying and social manipulation who will survive the “no bad ones” rule…the low key sadists/sociopaths. And then they use their cunning to undermine the culture/community values and eventually incite witch-hunts and other variations of femicide.

    Liked by 1 person

  75. Absolutely agree. Well explained. There are most definitely women out there who have been well-trained/tortured by patriarchy that they are broken in to being like men. And yes, there do seem to be some (rare) types of men who still manage to exist that can manage to control themselves enough to be relatively decent people….as far as we can tell anyway (there’s always the likely possibility that any “decent” man is just a good liar). But yes, once we understand the origin of the problem (the Y) then it all snaps into perspective. This is why I am always telling my readers/listeners to read TYP’s entries on the Y.

    Liked by 1 person

  76. Ah yes, Munchausen syndrome, THAT’S the name I couldn’t think of the other day. I was thinking about the projection that is mothers/women being labeled with this condition, while doctors and the entire male-made medical industry INVENTED this shit. Torturing and making people sick, in order to control them, all the while telling them it’s because it’s GOOD for us!


  77. hm, bring up nothing for me……. It’s just a page that says the domain is for sale….
    However, I’m doing more reading about 5G/corona link on the site though and holy shit do I have a lot of catching up to do apparently.


  78. @ Sinbigger: “…but you know that feels like it (all the lies on mainstream corporate media) is supposed to still sink in subliminally so that people WILL, out of fear, accept whatever vaccines/medical treatments/quarantines/ loss of human rights that the authorities thrust upon us.”

    That is my own belief in a nutshell. When I was young I used to have a Rule of 3 with regard to men: lie to me once and it may have just been a mistake, lie to me a second time and my warning antennas alert, lie to me a third time and you are never trusted again. Out of my life.

    I don’t bother with 3 lies anymore. As soon as a man or his media lie to me once, they are never trusted again.

    Did you know that the corporate media in the U.S is owned by only 6 major corporations? It may be only 4 now but I haven’t checked lately. Then there is the fact that most of the “news” they receive comes from only two main sources: Associated Press and Reuters, which happen to be owned by the same person.
    Behind all that is the aforementioned See Eye Ay and various other intelligent agencies in the western world.

    I have a family member who still believes in “freedom of the press” and she refuses to believe that there is no such thing. Perhaps there never was. Journalists write what they are told to write, according to the policies of the man who pays their salaries.

    Then there is also the fact that, in 2013, Obama signed a new law into power that effectively permits the government to use propaganda on the populace. Of course he justified that law with the old canard of “for national security reasons.”

    Where I live is no better. It’s everywhere.

    Liked by 1 person

  79. Bronte the Dunning-Kruger Effect is most definitely real and I see this all the time. The dumbest people don’t question their actions that much so they think everything they do is so great, while higher thinking people question everything and wonder why they can’t do better than they have. I definitely get this and I judge myself much more harshly than most people because I know I’m capable of more and think out everything before I do it. I can’t relate to the Imposter Syndrome or anything like that because I know I deserve much more than I’ve gotten. I got totally screwed over in life as I live in a country with no social support and the people in my life were unable to help me as much as I needed, my parents had too many problems themselves to give me enough support and I have no community of any kind, extended family are all far off and I no longer have any friends in real life at all. The only person I have in my life is my Mom and while she loves me and I know she’ll always be there for me, half of the time she’s screaming at me and calling me a retard or a bitch or threatening to drop me off at the homeless shelter or whatever because she’s so disturbed from how hard her life has been. Florida culture is so completely different from other Southern culture, it’s a huge mix of everything and we don’t have any of that “Steel Magnolias” stuff here. But we do have in common with other states that we have been held back in our overall infrastructure by negative social forces, slavery and religion. I read an article before that explained how one of the many ways that slavery fucked up the south was that because they had all these plantations and were focusing on that, they weren’t developing all the infrastructure that people were making in the north. They were busy creating universities ad more functional systems while lots of people down here were busy torturing black people and all of us have this legacy today of being held back by it. There’s also a lot of religious people and I think we all know here how religion holds everything back.

    I was always just expected to automatically “succeed” in this system because I am intelligent and can do well in school, but no one ever told me anything about how to do so. Cannabis Refugee was talking earlier all about how so many people have no idea how the world works because they know nothing about the “level” above them and all that described everything so well that I’ve experienced. My parents had regular crappy jobs and worked themselves ragged trying to survive, my Mom did everything she could to make sure I wouldn’t have to do that by making sure I was highly educated but no one ever told me anything beyond “go to school.” When I graduated with my bachelors degree I had no idea whatsoever what to do to actually make anything happen and soon after that my elderly dog’s health began to decline so I was no in a good place mentally to be making life decisions either. I tried so hard to get any job at all, everywhere was so competitive and wanted job experience and the only official job I had ever had was for a year and half working in the mall as a teenager so I had no way to show I could do a job because they didn’t care I had a degree. But just having a bachelors degree doesn’t really mean anything in the academic world, you need a doctorate, which I had always planned on getting but would take many years from there. There are jobs of course that are decent ones you can get with a bachelors degree like grading tests or something of that nature, but they aren’t something you can get when you desperately need a job because you will likely be on a waiting list for a year or more and back then they didn’t even have so many jobs online as they do now so you had to get hired at a grading facility.

    So I had no idea what it takes to make anything happen in the academic world and still barely do really. I don’t know much about how to make all these connections that everything requires and as someone who is deeply alone already, I can’t imagine being able to really do it. I had a very distorted view that women would be treated better in professional settings, like there was something fundamentally different between being a scientist and being say, a soldier (the most extreme I can think of) where in aggressive violent settings it would attract the worst men but in a professional academic setting you would be treated respectfully. Of course that’s not reality at all, the Archaeological society just had a big conference where there was all these problems because a man who was allowed to present there had raped, harassed, and stalked a bunch of women in the field and was actually kicked out of his own University because of it. So this conference that was important to these women’s careers was ruined for all of them because the conference allowed this rapist to do whatever he wants with no real consequences just like in every other area of life.

    That doesn’t even get into how fundamentally evil all this is. Even if you manage to make all the connections, avoid the rapists, succeed despite all the various health problems that seemingly all women have now; what do you get? To be a puppet for an evil stratum of society to use to enforce their wills. Like all this stuff we’ve been talking about, science isn’t even real anymore. Had I known about the reality of anything I would have become a businesswoman ASAP when I was much younger and started a business as soon as I could. Now I’m playing catch up while in severe pain and anger and severely disillusioned. What I’ve learned is that business is the only way to get anywhere, the only way to have control over your life, and it doesn’t have to be inherently evil if you are on your own and not connected to anything because you can provide things people want and make them happy without having to cater to some evil demands from someone higher up.


  80. When CRE referred to herself as trash, I understood and agreed because I am trash in this society. I’ve been thrown away. It’s not a statement of any inherent value or any way I see myself. A priceless work of art made of precious materials that many people would value will still rot in the dump if thrown away. I’ve grown up poor with struggling parents, they still managed to give me everything and do all kinds of stuff for me. Only because I was an only child, they were able to focus everything they had on me, if I had a sibling I would have really been fucked over. I managed to have high achievements on my own, I got my bachelors degree and earned a bunch of scholarships to do it. Then when I decided to get my masters I had to get student loans and it was severely hard by that time because I was in extreme emotional and physical pain from loved one’s deaths and from different things happening to injure me and make me ill. I still managed to do it though. I’ve needed help so badly for years. I truly thought I was on the verge of death I was so unwell and everywhere I looked there was no where to get help. I’ve had so many different medical problems to deal with and some of the doctors traumatized me so deeply even though I was paying them thousands of dollars and it was every cent I had. There’s no social support for anyone struggling here, CRE has explained it all so well how there’s really no help available.

    I told my mom all the time how sick I was and she just dismissed me and said I need to “get up and go” with no explanation of it would be possible how to do so when I was often bedbound with severe illness and injury (because of course it isn’t). She acted like it was somehow all in my head, nothing was as bad as I said it was, and I should be able to just “go to the doctor” and they would fix everything up immediately and that would be that. With no regard for the fact that I was continually going to different doctors for different things and spending thousands and thousands of dollars I didn’t really have on various issues, like my teeth alone have cost so many thousands of dollars for serious issues with my molars. I never even got a chance to really address the overall health problems, but she acted like everything had some simple fix. She’s had lots of health problems in her life that severely incapacitated her but for some reason she wouldn’t believe anything I said about my own physical condition. I know she didn’t have any more help to offer me anyway so maybe it was a mental protection for her to tell herself things aren’t that bad. I told one of my aunts how badly I had been abused by these two dentists and I was really scared of anything medical after that and I haven’t had many good experiences with medical care otherwise anyway and about how I was dealing with so many health problems it’s practically all I’ve been able to do. She called my mom and apparently they discussed how crazy I am, and I should go to Christian counseling services because they offer cheap therapy. As if I don’t really have problems physically or maybe I do but they’re not that bad, the real problem is just how crazy I am.

    My (now ex) partner who I was with for 7 years and lived with for 6, was very supportive of me for a long time. He was extremely loving to me and did all kinds of things for me. But I was too sick and hurt for too long and he grew to deeply resent me for having to be responsible for most of the bills and having to do so much for me while I struggled to get better and tried to figure out what to do to earn a living that I could do as a very physically fragile person who needed to be at home to recover. I had to sell my car after a while when it died, and I couldn’t afford a new one and even had to share his car. So I only had a car like once a week when he wasn’t working. As soon as I was well enough to finish my degree and be semi functional, he decided he didn’t want to deal with me anymore and I don’t even hear from him at all now. I thought I would be spending the rest of my life with him. Now I am living with my mom while I frantically work to get my life together and get things going that I can maintain no matter what my health is like in the future. My mom yells at me practically every day and seems like she almost has two different personalities. I completely understand why she’s like that as she’s been severely traumatized and hurt too, but it’s so hard to deal with. So I have been totally thrown away in every way and am completely alone, the only person I have to depend for anything on acts like she hates me half the time.

    I also was declared “gifted” around 8 or so and they wanted to put me in the gifted program and I also intentionally didn’t try at all to do well because I didn’t want to go in the program. I didn’t see any benefit to it and figured it would just be more work rather than a fundamentally different approach. Which I’m sure is true. I wanted to just stay with my friends and not have more work and be able to just hurry up and do my work so I could read and get left alone. Gifted certainly is a curse. Intelligence is only ever punished unless you are a bad person using it for evil.


  81. For some reason the .PDF part at the end of the link got cut off from the hyperlink, so copy and paste it.


  82. Wow listen to this, in this episode of the Indian horror anthology I’m watching, a woman is being stalked by a Djinn and goes to a holy dude for help. She asks “What have I done? Why is he after me?” And he tells her that she is his weakness, once a Djinn lasts his eyes on a beautiful woman he never leaves her and will compel the lady to go to his realm with him. The woman is not spared until she surrenders and agrees to cross the gate to his realm. First he created terror and if terror doesn’t work he uses deceit.

    They really tell us about what they do to us over and over again in all their legends and myths and any fiction. But women never want to believe it. That’s exactly what they’ve done, when terror didn’t work well enough anymore they made up a system of lies to control us and force us to surrender and join their evil realm.

    Liked by 1 person

  83. Yet there were plenty of of hideously 👩 violent groups towards females. On our side of the world I don’t know of a single group that wasn’t extraordinarily misogynistic. Wives typically had knife injuries, even
    IN HEADS. girls,who stumbled upon a super secret penis-ironing ceremony ( when they weren’t informed where it took place),were raped for days in punishment . Ceremonial gang rape was a thing. Dames weren’t permitted to hunt large animals

    I,m an Empath. I sense personal energy like a radio frequency. My reactions are so intense,that bad energy suffocates me &good gives me energy burst

    Liked by 2 people

  84. Also, Mothers of boy babies 👶: I believe them to be doped up on that Y fragment. Without it : Boys would be infanticided. This is the Biggest Motive for complicity. For all their matriarchy, bonobos still coddle sons for life & care about their reproductive success. It’s GOTTA be a chemical effect> TYP mentionEd higher maternal investment into the Y

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  85. Anotherwomaninhell: The Dunning-Kruger Effect and Black Swan Syndrome.

    I think a lot of women can relate to the Dunning-Kruger Effect as it has been our entire lives.

    As for Steel Madonna I had no choice: a child alone with a single mother who barely spoke English, in a hostile nation and who worked two or three very poorly paid jobs in order to support us both.
    We worked as a team although we fought like crazed cats. My mother was what would once have been termed “mildly retarded” and I was the so-called “gifted child” who explained a confusing culture to her and defended her against it. If I am a bone deep feminist today it is because of her.

    I once considered her a narcissist but today I understand that she was always a terrified, overwhelmed, lonely woman who suffered from severe complex PTSD symptoms which manifested as narcissism: a self-protective coping strategy.

    Re: A Business of My Own and Black Swan Syndrome.

    My aim in life – after discarding the idea of university- when I was just setting out into the adult world was to have my own business. Today I have an MBA (for what that ridiculous piece of paper is worth) but before it was only a “trade school” for the practicalities.

    However, to get my own business I needed to save up first and that meant working for others. Fun.

    During that time I was told by a prospective employer, “We love your work but your superior (with more than twenty years of experience) is afraid of you.”

    “You are a black swan in a billabong. Sorry.”

    A black swan is a rare creature, found only in one city of Australia. A billabong is aboriginal wording for a small lake or pond. What the CEO of that company was telling me is that I was unemployable in the country. I had had similar disasters in the preceding months and years. My entire life had been trying to find a place that accepted me for what and who I was.

    Immediately I started saving money to hightail it out of the billabong to Black Swan Lake Country on the other side of the world.

    I figured that if I was a very humble, polite, unobtrusive little creature, and kept myself in the background, then maybe the big swans in Black Swan Lake Country would accept me and I could learn from them.
    If they hated me so much in Sydney I was going to get me some international Big Swan experience and ammunition to scare them to death.

    “Flock you,” I thought. I want to do a real Black Swan Lake dance for once in my life and it ain’t going to be here.

    In one early job in Black Swan Country, when I was still a very humble, unobtrusive little creature in cashmere twinset and grey flannel pants, my Super Duper Big Black Swan male boss confronted me with a sigh, shaking his head in disapproval: “If you’re going to dress like that you won’t get anywhere in this city because we are not the boondocks here. You look and behave like an English boarding school girl and people don’t notice you. You have to be noticed in this city and that means “The Devil Inside” like the song playing on the radio now.”

    “Go read de Sade if you don’t understand. You don’t want to be a Justine. Virtue is not a virtue in big business. Pretend to turn to the dark side. We all do. It’s our defense against the real dark side and there’s plenty of that.
    When you look like you have The Devil Inside then you make your own rules. You can be yourself. Nothing changes but the clothes and the confident “f… you” air. No man will ever touch you because they will understand that your price is too high and you don’t need them for anything.”

    Imagine the Marvel movie character played by Scarlett Johannsen.

    My former boss’s advice worked. So did other things he told me. It may not be feminist but I was trying to survive in a big bad world.

    In the end, I never did get to have my own business but that wasn’t because I was lacking in opportunities. Black Swan Country gave me plenty. I just couldn’t accept them because I was back and forth across continents looking after my mother as well as working.

    Beware of the Black Swan Syndrome. Find the right environment for business for who you are.


  86. @Anotherwomaninhell:

    What that last comment meant – not explained well- is that you are a talented woman that will be taken advantage of in business, whatever that may be. I know I was until I transformed, outwardly, into a creature that looked like a designer bitch on wheels who would bite men’s heads off if they dared veer off the path of good behavior.

    And the rest was easy. I could just be myself. De Sade’s Justine was a good example that I was given: a novel in which sadistic men destroyed a virtuous woman.


  87. @ sinbigger:

    You did the same thing I used to do. You spelt the word “millennium” with one ‘n’ instead of two ‘n’.

    It is not themilleniumreport.

    Can you see the difference?

    Please don’t hit me (via the internet) if that alternative news site blows your mind.
    I’m just one woman trying to make sense of this insane world as best I can.

    I’ve been reading alternative news sites for years because of the corporate news situation. Which doesn’t mean that I accept as fact anything I may read on any particular site.
    I have my small number of trusted sites that I’ve been reading for years and I know them to be reliable because they have proved themselves over time. As well as that, the commenters on sthose sites are, for the most part, extremely intelligent. I’ve learned much from some of them.

    themillenniumreport is not one of those trusted sites. It is on my “let’s see how truthful you are over the next year and how much your reporting accords with my reliable sites” list.

    Nevertheless, it gives me things to ponder.

    Liked by 1 person

  88. Re: 9/11 Hurricane Sandy date?

    You mentioned Hurricane Sandy occurring on 9/11 before – if I was reading you correctly, probably not- and I shook my head because I don’t recall our global lords and masters having used that date again for another disaster.
    There again, I think they did.

    The following is going to sound wildly insane at first. I thought it was insane at first, although I continued reading it from people who are not idiots, who do not need straightjackets, and who have been studying geopolitics and warfare strategy all their lives.

    Keep in the back of your mind when reading mainstream media reports because that is when a “secret code for Psychos” is supposedly used.
    Remember that psychopaths always NEED to tell their victims about what they are doing, because – later- they can say to those victims, “We were telling you all along but you were too stupid to notice. Not our fault.”

    This is called “duping delight” in psychology.

    Over the years I’ve been reading that TPTB (the Powers That Be) are using numerical code to inform each other that whatever tragic incident has happened in the world is their doing.
    They use recurring dates, the number of supposed victims, the number of an aeroplane in a disaster and so on.

    11, 21, 22, 33, 66, 13, 17, 77, 7 in multiples etc. etc.

    The first time I noticed after having been informed was in a video of a presentation that the head of the International Monetary Fund (Christine Legarde) did at Davos, the Word Economic Forum or something like that.

    The presentation was one of the most bizarre things I have ever watched and totally unprofessional for the head of the IMF.

    Legarde continued repeating the number 7 over and over again, citing its supposed magical/mystical properties.
    “What the hell is mysticism supposed to do with economics, you idiot” is what I thought at the time.

    Something concerning the number 7 was supposed to happen that year and it did: Russia being expelled from the G8. (If you still think Russia is a baddy…..sorry to disappoint you. The nation is only trying to survive against U.S warfare. Same goes for China.)

    Liked by 1 person

  89. Hi bronte. There was a hurricane off the coast of NY on 9/11 but it wasn’t Sandy. I believe it was called Erin. Sandy happened the end of October 2012. The 29th I think. Maybe the 27th. I would have to Google.


  90. What was weird about Sandy was that Sandyhook happened shortly thereafter and everyone forgot about Sandy. The only Sandy anyone cared or talked about anymore was Sandyhook even tho to those of us in the aftermath it was still the very first thing on our minds. Many of us were still homeless. I was looking at an apartment the day Sandyhook happened. Same thing happened with Hurricane Harvey. In a matter of weeks it seemed, the Harvey Weinstein accusations started. It was so bizarre both times, the way the entire cultural conversation about the hurricanes was replaced by an event using the same name. If you are interested in Erin, Judy Wood talks about it. She is the only one I’ve ever heard talk about how weird it was to have a hurricane that had been approaching NYC for days but it was hardly mentioned at all in the media, even tho it was spinning off the coast on 9/11. Apparently they even removed the hurricane from the satellite imagery when they showed the smoke from the towers.


  91. Re; The War For Our Minds?

    Lots of people have termed the disinformation and propaganda campaign in the mainstream corporate media as a War for Our Minds because the most important strategy in warfare is gaining the consent of the populace first.

    After that the Warlords can do whatever they want. We are puppets.
    Please do not think that I am blaming the American people for what is happening because I’m not. I love America and its people. I had to almost be dragged onto the plane when I left.

    What I hate is the Military Industrial Complex or War Industry and that is not confined to the U.S.

    Where I am is the same. Hypnotized puppets and war worshippers.

    On the coincidences between Hurricane Sandy/ Sandy Hook and Hurricane Harvey/ Harvey Weinstein?
    I don’t know. Thankyou for that. I’ll start noticing more to see if there is a continued pattern.

    What I keep telling myself is “There are no coincidences in politics and warfare.”

    For me, Harvey Weinstein is a scapegoat but I haven’t worked out for what. The whole Me Too movement is a big farce meant to distract us from what is really happening in the world.

    Distraction with frivolities is one of the methods used by the corporate media: “We’re not going to tell you that the Pacific Ocean is dying because of radiation because look here: Harvey Weinstein!
    It’s like the sleight of hand used by magicians. He tells you to look somewhere while he is doing the important stuff with his other hand.

    Removing satellite imagery and everything else that may compromise the official fairytales they tell us is another trick being used. This has been spotted by people many times.

    I will have to watch Judy Woods again. Didn’t have time over the weekend. I have never considered her a wacky “conspiracy theorist.”

    Besides, you as a lawyer know that conspiracies have always existed. Isn’t conspiracy law a first year subject in law school?

    Liked by 1 person

  92. Re; The War For Our Minds?

    Lots of people have termed the disinformation and propaganda campaign in the mainstream corporate media as a War for Our Minds because the most important strategy in warfare is gaining the consent of the populace first.

    After that the Warlords can do whatever they want. We are puppets.
    Please do not think that I am blaming the American people for what is happening because I’m not. I love America and its people. I had to almost be dragged onto the plane when I left.

    What I hate is the Military Industrial Complex or War Industry and that is not confined to the U.S.

    Where I am is the same. Hypnotized puppets and war worshippers.

    On the coincidences between Hurricane Sandy/ Sandy Hook and Hurricane Harvey/ Harvey Weinstein?
    Thankyou for that. I’ll start noticing more to see if there is a continued pattern.

    What I keep telling myself is “There are no coincidences in politics and warfare.”

    For me, Harvey Weinstein is a convenient scapegoat but I haven’t worked out for what. The whole Me Too movement is a big farce meant to distract us from what is really happening in the world.

    Distraction with frivolities is one of the methods used by the corporate media, most especially by Hollyweird.

    “We’re not going to tell you that the Pacific Ocean is dying because of radiation because look here: Harvey Weinstein!
    It’s like the sleight of hand used by magicians. He tells you to look somewhere while he is doing the important stuff with his other hand.

    Removing satellite imagery and everything else that may compromise the official fairytales they tell us is another trick being used. So many people are screen capturing these days because of it.

    I will have to watch Judy Woods again. Didn’t have time over the weekend. I have never considered her a wacky “conspiracy theorist.”

    Besides, you as a lawyer know that conspiracies have always existed. Isn’t conspiracy law a first year subject in law school?


  93. Re: Am I Getting Paranoid?

    All today I have had military helicopters and aeroplanes flying directly over my house; shaking the foundations.
    Okay, I know I live under a flight path but this is ridiculous. It’s never happened before. Not directly over the house.

    What have I said?
    Is the military so sensitive to those who see through their lies that they would do something so childish to scare me……..but no, I’m just being paranoid.

    I am just one person. No threat to anyone at all. I mind my own business and feed my kookaburras. That’s all.

    Liked by 1 person

  94. Re: Apologies for that last stupidly paranoid comment.

    I deeply apologize for the trash written above. No military or intelligence agency in the world would bother with someone like me.

    On the other hand, my “spidey senses” are on agitated alert because of something: how the Corona Virus situation is evolving into something else.

    On the “news” here is the fall of the stock market and government plans for the “coming recession.”

    The financial elite have been planning a global financial system crash for a while because the financial system is over-extended and has been for a long time. What they plan is what they call a Global Reset which will leave us all so much poorer.

    As a single woman with very few resources this is the only thing that scares me.

    Liked by 2 people

  95. Re: Medical Martial Law and Global Financial System Crash.

    I hope you are reading Medical Martial Law @

    And I wasn’t being so paranoid before, after aIl.
    There is a ton load of military plane and helicopter activity in Sydney at present, most of it over me. It has been going on all night almost non-stop. I couldn’t sleep.
    This has never happened before and I wonder what the military is doing.

    Northern Italy has been put on lockdown because of Corona: no one allowed to travel. This has never happened before. I used to live in Milan and know it- and the corrupt political situation- really well.

    The only thing I thank my stupid MBA degree for is that I got to understand how international finance worked.
    Is now going to be when the global banksters crash the entire financial system? A lot of people specialized in international finance have been waiting for this for the past years. Is it now….leading to what some have called the Great Depression?

    Stay calm, please. None us know exactly what’s happening, yet, because events are moving too fast.

    Liked by 1 person

  96. It’s easy to get carried away with this stuff, esp when your spidey senses are telling you something is happening. I have had that feeling for several years now. I also think #metoo and Weinstein are a distraction from something else, but I don’t know what. Clearly they are wasting women’s time and energy and drawing their focus, why now? I’ve been asking myself that since it started and I still don’t know.

    Liked by 2 people

  97. @ bronte71 I didn’t know the specific number (6 major corporations), nor did I know the names…but I knew. I could tell. But yes, nice to have numbers and names to put to that hunch I feel.


  98. In Hands, Tools, Weapons she explains how men have dominated us as far back as we can see by violently seizing control of all advanced tools and weaponry and by mutilating little girls so they would only be capable of wielding very basic tools. By forcing the women to do their work crippled, inadequately supplied, and under the command of whatever men say; they are left to do hard cumbersome tasks that take up every ounce of their energy and all of their time.

    No time is left to think, reflect, and learn on their own. Religious prohibitions fill in for actual mutilations and serve as mental mutilations to aid men in preventing women from gaining access to the tools necessary to shape the world around them and be free of enforced dependence on men. Being left physically and mentally crippled and raised in a regime of terror means there is no escape.

    The men utilize the tools that obviously women would have invented in the first place because they are dumbasses who were likely too busy raping and killing until they saw the possibility of what we could create. They are able to expand their abilities beyond what their body can do using tools, while women are confined to their bodies which are then broken to be limited further.

    She brings up one specific example of men’s mutilations of girls where men of the Dagum Dani cut off some of little girls fingers in a ritual. It ensures that they are handicapped for life and so unlikely to run off and live on their own because their main means to control their environment, their hands, have already been limited. The men, with full use of their bodies, are able to wield whatever weapons and tools they are able to make. Since they have the women crippled and broken at their command they are able to utilize women’s labor to do the tedious and laborious work involved in creating things, then they can do the fine work the mutilated women can’t do and proclaim how great they are and how much the women need them.

    Continuing on from everything she explains, the parasitic nature of men is clearly evident when you look at how commonly they mutilate girls. Every group has its own mutilations the men carry out. I wonder if there are any groups of people where men have never mutilated the girls? I do not know. That tribe mentioned cuts off their fingers, many groups mutilate their genitals, some Chinese groups used to bind their feet so they could not run away, I remember hearing about Mayans purposely making babies cross-eyed and I have a feeling it was just the girls.

    These mutilations done as girls set them up for a life of disability and pain where men can drain them of everything and use it for their benefit; their reproductive power, their intelligence, their physical labor, and I believe their literal life force as well.

    In “civilized” societies the disabilities get less severe and are replaced by clothing that restricts movement and function of the body instead of just chopping off body parts. Women are trained to be happy slaves by having good things associated with their inflicted disabilities. The extremely long nails many women are taught to value mirror the disabling function of the men cutting off their fingers because it makes them less able to wield tools and weapons that the men are free to use.

    However since there is no grotesque ritual cutting off their fingers, it is much easier to hide the horrible reasons behind it so women will work to limit themselves and call it freedom.

    Sheila Jeffreys in Beauty and Misogyny talks about how “beauty” serves as a limiting force on women’s abilities. She talks about a factory worker who is encouraged to engage in beauty rituals including long nails. In order to use the tools necessary to do her job she must go through a process of putting things on her hand to protect her cumbersome nails. I think wrapping something around them? And then wearing special gloves.

    Even when she is given access to tools, it is for men’s benefit and she must spend her time doing bizarre things to work around what could be considered a humane mutilation. Her time and energy she could be using to expand her mind or to rest is taken up by these male enforced rituals and she is still probably not as able to handle the tools as she should be.

    Because she was not actually hurt in order to limit her, no one literally cut off her fingers, she doesn’t associate it with cruelty. She can go to a nice trip to the nail parlor and have things done that feel good as getting your body cared for is nice. I don’t see anything wrong with it if women are going to care for normal nails they can function with.

    Many women just have normal nails so the ones that willing handicap themselves “choose” to do so. We’re pretty much all handicapped in some way and as long as most women have severe limits placed on them it is enough to keep us all down because we can’t join together properly to control and shape our environment.

    The decorations put onto the handicapping long nails mask the grotesque nature behind it, similar to how the tiny shoes for the Chinese women’s mutilated feet were works of art the women created and valued. The beauty hides the true nature of what men do to us all to force us to be tied to them, physically and mentally broken and limited so they can drain us of everything valuable inside us. Our true capacity for intelligence and creativity stolen away from us through their evil in a thousand different ways hidden behind their smoke screen.

    The fact that everything is built around men’s bodies means practically all tools and supplies of all kinds are not the right fit for us and so are much harder for us to work with. A million different factors converge to limit us in ways they never even have to think about as the men before them have already built up a system over thousands of years designed to make it easy to parasitize us beginning with mutilating little girls bodies so they can’t function properly all the way to today where women get long fake nails that prevent them from functioning properly in the name of “beauty.”

    Liked by 2 people

  99. Re: Harvey Weinstein, Me Too, Feminism as a Psyop. LGBTQ….and the Frankfurt School.

    I don’t know if any of you have heard about the Frankfurt School. This was a group of Marxist sociologists etc. based in Frankfurt. I’m writing from memory here so please correct me if I make any mistakes.

    Some of the members of the Frankfurt School moved to the U.S and had enormous influence in the higher education system of universities.: up to this very day. Mary Daly in her books used to quote some of them. I used to read some of them and found their work interesting.

    But that doesn’t matter. Our global overlords will use for their own purposes even something that is inherently good and well-meaning, that holds a philosophy of Open Society and freedom for women.
    They transform it into something bad that suits their agenda. Wherever these men place their ugly hands turns to poison.

    I’m looking directly at Open Society Foundation you, George Soros. Thanks for all the “color revolutions” around the world, the trannies are real women Psyop, the rabid Social Warrior outbreak, Political Correctness, Black Lives Matter and I think- the Me Too movement.

    You want that fake, smelly, diseased, orgiastic free-for-all, lacking in all morals Open Society so bad I even started questioning my feminism because it is being used against me. Have I been inadvertently helping our Global Overlord Patriarchs or Globalists in taking over the world?

    Men around the internet who hate feminism call it “Frankfurt School manufactured to destroy our world and maleness.”

    “Oy-what are you calling manufactured, you No Balls dumbos. I was there in the 70’s as a girl and it was grass roots. We had two sets of unbreakable Big Female Balls – because we had to – and we still do” I answered back to a computer screen.

    Then I thought back to those early days of my life and remembered a distinct change in feminism at one point. I started researching and came across “manufactured.”

    How much were you paid by the CIA, Gloria Steinem?
    How much did David Rockefeller and his foundation pay you, as well? What did he tell you to do? You knew all along, Gloria, what the CIA was. You knew what David Rockefeller’s plans were, too, yet you still took their money.

    Third wave or liberal feminism is entirely manufactured… the usual suspects.
    Don’t believe me? Please do your own research. My old computer with all the links is broken.

    Liked by 1 person

  100. That’s all just regular old normal male sadism. So what were the evil men doing that got them to be expelled from the groups? It’s usually about greed from hoarding resources away from the tribe, so that there is a system of rules in place so that everyone gets food and other necessary resources to live. Someone trying to keep everything to themselves and not sharing would be deemed harmful to the group and would likely be banished, which would often lead to death being on their own.

    But women are a resource to men and they have likely always seen us that way as a tool for them to use and shape to their will. So their deal with each other so they could live in relative peace with each other is they would not try to hoard women to themselves and each man can have a woman slave. They made religion to say how great and right this is.

    Their sadism towards us has been honed to be most efficient in keeping us down and effective in keeping the most peace possible among them.

    As the groups got larger in size the most evil men got to large enough numbers that they could seize control completely. The regular men with lesser levels of sadism have been happy to follow, assured that they get a woman slave of their own and the food and resources they need to live themselves and be able to rape the woman enough to pass on their genes. So they don’t care what the most evil men do.

    As population sizes have grown the most evil men have banded together to harness our collective human energy. Standing on the backs of generations of broken women and obedient men happy to destroy as commanded, the most evil men have today become our corporate overlords.

    Reigning over us all as they set the Earth ablaze to bring about our complete destruction in an unbroken line since men first began to mutilate the little girls that would become the broken women.

    Liked by 2 people

  101. @ sinbigger: “Nice to have numbers and names to put to that hunch I feel.”

    I used to call my MBA studies a waste of time and money reading globalization propaganda, but I was wrong.

    All the new knowledge gave me cognitive tools I didn’t have before. I used to have hunches like you but could never explain them. These days I “follow the money trail.”

    Following the money trail leads to the knowledge that a small handful of multinational companies control our global food supply. Follow the money and you understand that a tiny number of companies own Big Pharma and Big Medicine.

    Follow the money and you understand the small number of major banks in the world. Follow the money and you see how all those multi-national corporations and banks are interconnected into a thick web of cross-shareholding.

    The banks are the critical lynch pin of the entire system.

    In the end, the Big Global Picture you get is that only a relatively small number of men “own” the entire world world.
    They own us. I call them Globalists or The Powers That Be or the global elite.
    They do not have our welfare at heart because they have no heart. Or soul.

    Then there are the intelligence agencies also interconnected with the web of multinational companies and banks but I’ve just started studying that.

    Why do you think the American soldiers are in Afghanistan?……..The answer, partly, is Opium and rare earth minerals. What you hear on mainstream corporate news is all horse manure.

    And don’t let me get started on Hollyweird.

    Liked by 1 person

  102. @ Kaguyamouse.

    Re: “Men talk about demons and possession an awful lot.Something does overtake the innocent ones in a group setting and they get hideously violent. .. I don’t understand men’s pedophilia drive. Has got to be a demonic thing.”

    I’m going to tread as softly as I can here.
    How does a male global religion that worships the devil – Lucifer or Baal, I don’t know how many gods- hit you?
    Impossible? Too insane? Why don’t we all know about it?

    Recall from one of my previous comments the advice a former boss gave to me. It was in the city of Milan; a major financial, industry, media, and fashion hub of the world. The advice was:

    “Pretend to turn to the dark side. We all do. It’s our defense against the real dark side and there’s plenty of that.”

    I didn’t understand it at the time because “dark side” was, to me, only a reference from the Star Wars movies and Darth Vader.
    Let the force be with you.

    I didn’t understand the “dark side” business but I did understand what followed: “You don’t want to be a Justine.”

    Justine is a novel written by the Marquis de Sade. His name is where the word “sadist” comes from.
    I recommend his novel “20 Days of Sodom” if you can stomach the filth and depravity.
    Justine is another novel that tells the story of a virtuous woman destroyed by sadistic men.

    I followed my boss’s advice because I had already noticed something “whiffy” about my environment. Forget the fact that some people I was dealing with were flying as fast as Ferraris every day on cocaine as their only food source.
    I was already used to cocaine heads from Sydney. I have never been one of them.

    There was something more besides cocaine, and I didn’t know what that was…..yet.

    About two years ago I watched a Youtube video with a Dutch man who had formerly worked in high finance in Europe. He told of how he had been promoted quickly because he was “ferocious to succeed at any cost.”

    Finally, after having risen to a high level, he was invited somewhere by his superiors. I don’t know if this was at a villa or where, but he mentioned a “rite of initiation to the highest realms of my work.”

    It involved raping and killing a child…..and drinking that child’s blood.” He was trembling and crying like a baby as he told the story. I knew he was telling the truth.

    In Milan in the 1990’s it used to be fashionable in the top echelons of society to have new blood transfused into their body at least once a month. That blood was baby’s blood because baby’s blood functions as a “fountain of youth” in an elderly body. I wondered about the source of the baby’s blood. I understand now.

    Further, there is the use of a “rite of passage” in order to blackmail those in finance, big business, politics and whatever. When a man has risen to some position of prominence in his field, he is tested.
    Whilst he is partaking of the feast (pedophilia, child murder and vampirism), he is filmed.

    After that, he is forever compromised. For me, all the men who own the world are psychopaths who follow an insane religion- whether they believe in it or not doesn’t matter- but their henchmen/helpers/middle-men may not be.

    They may just be blackmailed into compliance.

    This was part of the “dark side” that I was warned about.

    Liked by 2 people

  103. The mainstream entertainment industry follows the same religion. My ex and I would used to watch a bunch of videos pointing out the crazy beliefs that they infuse in the entertainment we consume, in the same manner as the government agencies, and once you see it you begin to notice how it’s everywhere. Of course it’s because they are all owned by the same few men too. Their story of evil is told to us again and again. The people who desire fortune and fame must submit to their control which includes brainwashing for many children brought into the industry.

    This video is of Amanda Bynes “doing drugs” when she began to break down from the torture they’ve inflicted on her. I’m sure drugs were involved too that they doped her up with to help make her compliant but this is something much more. These videos of her give me nightmares they are so frightening. You can see the emptiness in her eyes, there’s nothing in there. I grew up watching her on Nickelodeon. She was full of life and energy that they now have sucked dry by subjecting her to their mental and physical abuse. Raping and brainwashing her until she did what they said like they do to all the child stars. One of the Corey and Corey stars of the 80s spoke out about all the pedos and was murdered for it and they said it was because he was doing drugs. Drugs are a convenient excuse that allows our overlords to do whatever they want and then people blame the victim and ask why they ruined their life with drugs.

    Liked by 1 person

  104. Their demon worshiping religion goes way back to tribal men forming secret societies away from the women and saying they were channeling demons.

    “These societies maintained secret knowledge, songs, and dances that gave them the power to emulate evil spirits, devils, and demons in rituals. It is widely reported that the performances of these secret societies were designed to invoke fear in women and children.”

    I believe that they actually are connecting with an evil force that is on the same vibrational frequency as the evil energy intertwined with the Y chromosome. When men get together they are able to concentrate this evil force and call upon the demons (inter-dimensional parasitic energy beings) through these rituals, which latch onto them further and give them greater combined power to suck the energy from us. This is done many ways through literal cannibalism and through rape to steal our reproductive abilities, in addition to sucking out the energy spiritually by breaking us down mentally and physically.

    Liked by 2 people

  105. Thanks for the link anotherwoman. I read the article, very interesting. I think the idea that men keep secrets from women bc women are often members of rival tribes is compelling and I hadnt thought about that before. Men’s tradition of stealing and trading women for marriage makes them paranoid, and rightly so. I still don’t know why more women don’t kill men in their sleep.

    Re beliefs, I think it is so telling that we are never told about what powerful people really believe. Trying to figure out your own belief system as an adult is taken about as seriously as decorating your first “real” apartment and all beliefs are pretty much considered equal from what I can tell. And we are supposed to take on beliefs that we think are actually true. Whereas for powerful people, it doesnt matter whats actually true if they behave as if it is, and that seems to be what they do. Not-powerful people might never imagine that powerful people go through these elaborate rituals bc they are obviously harmful or seem ridiculous, but that doesnt seem to stop powerful people from actually doing it. This is the same position women occupy in relation to all men, of course. Women are the not-powerful people who cannot even imagine the things men think about and do behind closed doors.

    Liked by 2 people

  106. I recently read something on a mainstream news site about a mum’s group where one mum received a vid on a sharing app showing a man raping a baby. The mum sent it to the other mums as a warning or something that they all needed to be careful with their kids around strange men. The mum who shared the vid got 3 years as a sex offender for distributing child pornography. Another mum made it her lifes mission to find the baby and make sure it was ok, but her mission was short lived bc she wasnt allowed to show anyone pics of the baby to try to figure out its identity and if she did she would be a sex offender too. Imagine if that was your wake up call to what men really are. Simultaneous lessons in maleness and in women’s powerlessness to do anything about it, even to take steps to protect themselves and their and other peoples’ kids.

    Liked by 2 people

  107. Mainstream feminism is literally just a big commercial. International women’s day and Me too and such things claim that things are getting better and we are finally getting listened to, while everywhere we look we’re told we can be empowered if we buy the right shoes or whatever the current products is, we’re told all we need to do is be more assertive in order to get raises and promotions and the cops are working reaallly hard to catch rapists so we should just trust them. Everything is all telling us what to do, and unsurprisingly what we “should do” is trust that the system is good, it just needs us to work harder.

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  108. Oh god how horrible. There’s always the chance too that the cops know who the man is and are actually protecting him, maybe it’s one of them.

    That baby is definitely not okay. It’s probably left for dead honestly. I hate men. If more men really were good like they like to claim they would be so disgusted by what other men do they wouldn’t be able to stand not doing something about it.

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  109. This whole thing with punishing women with child pornography laws has really been a lesson in how men use everything to allow them to do horrible stuff even if it’s supposed to be something helpful.

    You know what it reminds me of? It’s like when genies grant wishes but they have an evil twist. “Oh sure we’ll make laws to protect children from child pornography, sounds good mwah haha.” Then they let the pedophiles do what they want and punish women who try to stop the pedos, along with teen girls who take a few pictures of themselves.

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  110. Jeez yeah, thats exactly what its like! Like, exactly. The whole genie dilemma is caused by language being ambiguous, which it is. That’s the joke, except its not a joke, its real and it really happens all the time. Like how its possible to interpret “equality” in ways that have nothing to do with how women originally meant it, if that was even the language they chose at all and it might not have been. Women obviously meant that they wanted to survive and thrive like men do, and to stop being punished for our femaleness. But it hasnt been used once with its original intention as far as I can tell. All of this is just a big joke to men, even tho they think the genie dilemma is evil and terrifying, which it is.

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  111. What about all that stuff I wrote last night, because I feel like that was pretty brilliant everything I wrote tying all those writings together. I think I should expand on that and turn it into something.

    And did you watch that Amanda Bynes video? I kind of didn’t want to share it because it really disturbs me but I think everyone here is already disturbed lol. I’ve seen other celebrity videos where they say the people are glitching with the mind control fracturing their mind and it really looks like it.


  112. As far as I can tell “equality” wasn’t really used at the start until it replaced liberation. Women’s liberation is direct and explicit in what they are demanding. Perhaps equality was thought up by our overlords. They have been studying all manner of mind control and influence for a long time now and have got it down even to the smallest things like which colors will make us more likely to by a product. They know exactly what they can do with words to make people feel certain ways. Honestly most women would prefer actual equality to liberation because I think liberation implies some degree of separation, whereas equality is more like “let’s hug and make up and make things better together.” If only men were willing to do that though. It just gives women false hope that allows them to be abused more.

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  113. I didnt read the whole chapter you linked to about tools (yet) but I was interested in what you had to say about it. And I didnt know that girls have been deliberately crippled across time and place, like making “babies” cross eyed on purpose, and speculating that it was just the girls. You are probably right about that. Re the long fingernails, I made a mental note that there was something not quite right about Billie Eilish and her super long talons and that it didnt seem to be congruous with her look, message or branding. Reading more about her and her situation, she is the younger sister of someone who was already in the business and they had professionals handling her and her branding from the beginning (she is styled by Chanel). Her nails are clearly a virtue signalling that she is still fuckable and handicapped, even tho she wears baggy clothes so she wont be judged and slut shamed. She seems to be getting sick of the handicap and posts pics of her talon-related mishaps including stabbing herself with her own nails, and breaking them off including the real nail underneath, but its taken as a joke and not as if she is getting fed up with what her handlers are forcing her to do as a compromise for not showing her body. Definitely write more about it if you want to and enjoy it. I appreciated your extended comments, and links, thanks for that.

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  114. It’s “funny” how throughout my many classes on anthropology and various social sciences pretty much the only mutilation that is talked about, and brought up many times, is female genital mutilation done by Muslim groups. The making “babies” cross eyed was mentioned quickly in a class but I don’t remember any other mention at all of other mutilations. I learned that all on my own. It’s “almost” like it’s an agenda to make women think things are so great as long as we are fighting our enemies those crazy Muslims over there. But they fail to mention how there are Christian groups here in the US doing female genital mutilation as well and have been for a long time and the various plastic surgeries along with stuff done to mothers like the “husband stitch” are all forms of mutilation done here. They certainly can’t just come out and tell women about all these things instead they talk about Muslims doing mutilations and stuff like how American men don’t keep up with sending holiday cards and leave it to the women. “Look you women don’t have it bad, look at those Muslims over there.”

    Of course I think it goes without saying that all religions are an abomination. With the possible exception of stuff like Wicca and Pagan nature based beliefs that seem to be about women worshipping nature. But I don’t know enough about them to say whether there is anything bad.

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  115. I didn’t know that about Billie Eilish. I never noticed her having long nails. I’ve been listening to her music lately and she is so talented and unique. I do believe every single one of the mainstream artists is manufactured in since way though. That certainly makes sense about her nails because she has to have something to show her compliance. Every female entertainer who is presented as going against norms and doing what they want still has to show that they are doing what they are “supposed to do.” I wonder if her entire persona is an act possibly, maybe the whole baggie clothes thing is something they thought up for her, like putting her in a burqua to make her body more mysterious to men. But they present it in a way that says how free and in control she is.

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  116. I’m surprised you never read that study by Paola Tabet before because I found it in a comment on your old blog and it totally blew my mind. It explains so much.

    This is from Wikipedia:
    “Paola Tabet is an Italian anthropologist . She was a professor of anthropology at the University of Siena as well as at the University of Calabria ( Italy ). She is one of the most important representatives of feminist anthropology, as well as materialist feminism.”

    I would definitely agree with how important her findings are after reading that study, but before I came across that.. I never heard of her! They decide for us who’s important and even when they decide a particular person is important they decide what particular things they said are what’s important. So many of my classes mentioned Marx but I hadn’t directly read much of his own (translated) words, only stuff written about him. Once I was done with my classes and had time to read whatever I read some. He talked all about how the oppression on women is the first oppression that everything else is based on. He taught his daughter all kinds of stuff and she was essentially his student and went on to lead her own women’s labor Union stuff, but she’s never mentioned, only his male students and everything is only about upper and lower classes.

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  117. In Gyn/ecology Mary Daly talks about a lot of the different mutilations men do to girls. She mentions some that I knew about but never even thought about as female specific mutilation for control because it’s always just shown as “look at this weird stuff Peele do to themselves.” Like the women who wear rings to stretch out their neck. Think about how much that would handicap then to not be able to look around easily. I have neck problems and any limitation on being able to turn your head cuts down on your ability to be aware of your surroundings, not being able to turn it right at all would really cut down on your perception. Like say it would lesson your ability to see if a man was following you and about to rape you. She says how the men will remove some of the rings if the woman isn’t obeying him, which will cause much pain because she needs then for support of her mutilated neck.

    The women with rings through her nose can be pulled by them like they do to bulls. I’ve seen a show where they rescued a poor little bear who men had done this horrible nose mutilation to also. I wonder if they started doing it to animals or to women first.

    In India the women wear that nose ring that connects to the earring when they get married. Once you see the pattern it’s easy to see that the husbands have a way to easily inflict severe pain on them with it.

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  118. Bronte, fortunately you can conduct so much business online now that I don’t have to deal with that stuff and I am so glad for that. I am doing everything on line now. I also have ideas for inventions and creations that I would like to get made and would need funding for that but if I really do work to get them made I might just crowd fund them anyway. I am so thankful for all these new ways of doing business because I definitely would not have fit into the old ways.

    You are very right about the clothes and the air of confidence making all the difference. When I was in my teens and early 20s I dressed all out and wore sexy fabulous clothes and wore lots of dark goth looks. Men didn’t really bother me much. I wasn’t scared to go anywhere. They would mostly keep their distance just looking from afar and some would politely try to ask me out. Of course there were creeps but it wasn’t a huge thing that made me afraid.

    Then when I got to my late twenties and my early thirties, I’ve felt like crap for a lot of years and have had no energy to put into how I look unless it’s a special occasion, even then not so much. So I often looked very sickly, dressed pretty crappy, and bundled up freezing. Everything changed so quickly with the way men acted towards me. I now am afraid to go places alone and feel deeply uncomfortable being around men after all the creepy predatory behavior while I was limping around in tears bundled up in raggedy old mismatched clothes because I was in too much extreme pain and sickness to care.

    I worked really hard to get myself relatively well and don’t feel completely terrible now so I don’t think it’s noticable to people that I’m in pain. And I have put a lot of work into my wardrobe having things fit and be comfortable now, since I first gained some weight having severe back problems then had drastic weight loss from digestive issues. Now my weight is stable and the exact right size for my body so I’ve gotten a whole bunch of nice new clothes that fit me and gone through a lot of the ones I already had to see what is still good. So I’m starting to look like myself again and I can walk mostly normally and confidently, not limping from my messed up knees or hunched over in pain.

    It’s “funny” how now that I’m actually looking pretty damn good they feel no need to tell me I’m “looking good” or tell me anything else. It’s “almost” like what they thought looked good was seeing that I was very clearly in obvious pain and distress and trying to get away from them and now that I really look good they have no interest in bothering me.

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  119. @ Anotherwomaninhell:

    Immense gratitude for that On Secret Cults article and the Amanda Byne video.

    I haven’t managed to get further back than the Sumerian/Babylonian/Egyptian cultures.

    The Egyptian Book of the Dead (occultism and secret rituals of royalty, spells and torture methods) keeps being referenced by a lot of people in regard to the origins of mind control and brainwashing techniques used by the CIA.

    Are these monsters and their agents everywhere? How many departments does The Company have?

    Re: MK Ultra, Monarch programming and Multiple Dissociative Identity Disorder. (split personalities)

    MK Ultra’s goals include to influence and control the mind. Apparently they are also using proven methods to create the Perfect Soldier – a Terminator that kills without remorse- and has been spotted often in the hot zones of the Middle East in battle.
    However, I’m only concerned here with what MK Ultra does to women.

    Monarch mind control (part of MK Ultra) is named after the Monarch butterflies; butterflies being an insect that begins life as a worm, goes into a cocoon stage and emerges as a beautiful butterfly.
    In Monarch programming the worm stage represents undeveloped potential, the cocoon period the programming, with the ultimate emergence of a Monarch slave.

    MK Ultra/Monarch uses trauma-inducing torture, continual sexual abuse, sensory deprivation, drugs etc.
    With each trauma-inducing episode the mind dissociates in order to survive what it considers betrayal by other humans.
    After constant and prolonged abuse the mind splits into various dissociative personalities in order to survive.
    The ultimate goal of MK Ultra/Monarch is in creating mind controlled slaves.

    Marilyn Monroe is reported to have been the original MK Ultra experiment in creating what the CIA terms a Presidential Model sex slave. Quoting from the article I’m reading:

    “Marilyn Monroe is the ultimate sex symbol, embodying everything that Hollywood represents; glamor, glitz, sex appeal……the disturbing story of her private life equally represents everything that is dark in Hollywood.
    Marilyn was indeed manipulated by high level ‘mind doctors’ who controlled every aspect of her life and eventually caused her to basically lose her mind.

    Through trauma and psychological programming, Monroe became a high level puppet of the Shadow Elite….

    When Monroe’s programming lost its effect she started to break down, some argue that she was ‘thrown off the freedom train’, an MK Ultra term for designating slaves that are killed when they are not useful (and potentially dangerous) to their handlers.”

    Marilyn met Anton LaVey when she worked as a stripper in an LA burlesque house. LaVey was the founder of the Church of Satan. La Vey was an MK Ultra handler and Monroe became one of his “kitten” slaves.

    Reference: The Hidden Life of Marilyn Monroe, the Original Hollywood Mind Control Slave

    Some time ago I watched a video on Youtube titled Candy Girl or The Candy Girl. It was a video made for Australian television about the story of a woman called Fiona Barrett. (Spelling?)

    Her story is that of an MK Ultra mind controlled slave whose programming eventually failed. One of the people doing the programming was – allegedly- Antony Kidman (Nicole Kidman’s father) who used to work as a psychologist at one of the top universities in the state of New South Wales well-known to have been a CIA recruiting ground.

    Fiona started remembering her childhood past in adult years. I can also imagine how that happened because, although I was not an MK Ultra sex slave, I’ve had my share of prolonged childhood abuse which caused a dissociative amnesia until 2004.

    The “normies” or brainwashed Stepford Australians here consider Fiona a crackpot. I do not because of my own experiences with dissociative amnesia, and because her story accords with everything I have learnt during my lifetime – most especially in Europe- and everything I have read about MK Ultra.

    Simply not possible to make up a story such as Fiona’s. Variations of the same story with identical details have been repeated over and over again by women across the world. Women who do not know each other.
    Are we all “crackpots”?

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  120. Re: Correction.

    That should be Fiona Barnett and the documentary is still on Youtube in 2 parts, titled “Candy Girl.”

    Childhood satanic ritual abuse, MK Ultra and the politicians, Australian prime ministers, U.S President Nixon, and others who used a mind controlled child slave.


  121. Sorry for what you went through as a child 😢 I have a feeling there are actually lots more women repressing horrible things in their life so strongly that they forget they happened. The brain tries to protect itself from trauma by breaking away from it and if the trauma is severe prolonged and never addressed to heal it leads to these disassociated states to be able to function. I didn’t know that Marilyn Monroe was their first celebrity experiment. Her story is already so tragic that makes it even worse but also makes sense they would do this to her.

    That video of Amanda Bynes is truly one of the most disturbing things I’ve ever seen. She’s not there in her body at all, her eyes are just empty. It’s like she really has just been made into a sex bot that’s not human anymore. People will just blame her and say she’s a drug addict and not understand what’s been done to her. Wtf kind of drugs would even do that? Maybe bath salts or some kind of extremely toxic stuff but would rich people ever do anything like that? Rich people do coke and stuff like that, that will fuck them up and destroy their health but not turn them into actual zombies. I’ve never seen anything like that. It’s terrifying.

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  122. Re: Candy Girl documentary in full.

    Here is the documentary in full. It is worthwhile watching.

    How many of you are going to continue to believe in politicians and any of our exalted leaders?


  123. @ Anotherwomaninhell:

    Re: “I have a feeling that there are actually lots more women repressing horrible things in their life so strongly that they forget they happened.”

    Yes, although dissociative amnesia is not forgetting because you never forget. The memories actually sit there in your sub-conscious controlling your entire life. Wow do they control decision-making!

    Today I understand fully why I once described myself as someone who had “fear of success.”
    I used to make bizarre excuses and run whenever someone in Europe offered me opportunities that would propel me into the international spotlight and media. That was often.
    I refused to have photographs of myself taken for magazines or told them “Do not publish” if they were snapped because something in my head was telling me, “If anyone in government in Australia sees this, if…….sees this, then your are in very big trouble. Again. Those are crazy people there. You were an innocent child just writing an autobiographical story that happened to win a national writing contest. You’re an adult now…think what else of totally insane they would do to you. Keep your head down. Understood?”

    I can honestly say today that, had I taken two specific offers that were once given me, you would know who I am because I would be in every woman’s and celebrity magazine in the western world.
    I’m not boasting because that isn’t me. I’m trying to explain what dissociative amnesia can do to a woman’s life: destroy it in every way by bad decision making.

    If/when those sub-conscious memories of the past return after a precise trigger, your mind is blown apart like a nuclear bomb exploding within it. You fall into extreme complex PTSD which felt to me like being swept into a black hole in outer space; only the outer space was my mind.

    I called it “living in the Twilight Zone and The Rocky Horror Picture Show” because I was suddenly living in my past as if it were happening in the present time. I looked like a walking ghost- bloodless in the face- with what is called a “thousand year stare”…….like a creature who can see that far.
    After that, you have to find a way to crawl out of the black hole.

    I managed to do it but it took seven years. Today, I understand that my mind was so full of a lifetime of toxic people and events, that it did a Toxic Clean Out, spewing out everything.
    I understand someone like Fiona Barnett because I went through the process of trying to put myself together whole, as well. However, identically to her, I have to hold back the tears with certain returned memories.

    There is a reason I use Bronte71 as a screen name. That, together with other things, was my trigger.

    I do not apologize, Canberra, for that story that accidentally contained what were state secrets at the time.
    I did not know that the story of “The Stolen Generation” children was a state secret.
    I was just an “abo lover” who befriended a lonely little aboriginal girl who had been stolen from her family and taken to live with white people.

    I am today one of that Stolen Generation even if not aboriginal……you stole my life.



    Have read an article from China stating that they are successfully using 7-14 grams daily (according to body weight of patient) of intravenous injection Vitamin C in hospitals to treat Corona Virus. That is 7,000 to 14,000 grams.

    Intravenous injections because Vitamin C taken orally is ten times less potent.
    Nevertheless, from tomorrow I will be taking 10 grams (10,000 mgs) per day orally of Vitamin C tablets; 2.5 grams every four hours.

    Iran is also doing this, although they term it ‘neutroceuticals’, together with traditional medicine.
    Russia is also on lockdown and they don’t do things unless they know the situation is serious.

    An announcement yesterday by an official from the Chinese government stated that they are now dealing with another outbreak: a quickly mutating virus that refuses to go away?
    The announcement was troubling because they indicated long-term breakdown of the global supply chain which will really lead to economic chaos and stock market crash. Then there are the oil prices.

    At this point I cannot help but worry because it seems that the entire year will be a catastrophic mine field to deal with even if I survive it.


  125. I haven’t watched the Amanda Bynes vid. Its so obvious that they break people so that they become unreliable witnesses to what broke them. They do “unbelievable” things to people, especially girls and women, bc they know how it will sound when and if they ever tell anyone. It’s a lot like the diagnostic racket for physical illness really, bc broken people need the same things to heal and it doesnt matter what happened to them in that sense, but everyone needs to know the details bc it gets them off. I have noticed that since I’ve been sick people want to know the details but its only to satisfy what seems like a prurient interest in what’s happening to me. It’s definitely not out of genuine care or concern, or they would offer to help. Or, if they genuinely wanted to help without the quid pro quo of having their prurient interest satisfied in exchange, they could just ask what I needed, or provide unconditional material support that they already know everyone needs without even having to ask. But everyone needs to get their fucking rocks off hearing the gory details. And then they can just say it’s not true, or its not that bad, or they would handle it differently and better if the same thing happened to them. And they make the broken person listen to them pontificate about it when they actually dont know the first thing about it. I hate people honestly.


  126. That Amanda Bynes video is only a minute. It’s just her standing there looking in her mirror holding up her phone clearly out of her mind making strange faces and movements. It had some bizarre title when she put it out too, something like sucking on a jolly rancher and doing my makeup. Or something like that? There’s other videos of her out of her mind out there too.

    Yes it’s absolutely like what they do in the medical field too. I’ve been thinking about how Andrea Dworkin said how rape takes away someone’s ability to talk about it right when they need it to be able to tell people what happened and how this can really be said about any type of abuse. It fucks you up too much to explain and it’s even worse when it’s someone you go to for help like when you’re sick and then when you can’t find sane caring people to help you and begin to understand exactly what a nightmare we live in, the realization that help doesn’t even exist is so frightening it’s hard to figure out how to even go on from there. I hate people too really. It makes me sick how compliant they are that as a society we’re apparently just okay with all of this and not only tolerate it but think it’s good. Why don’t more people who have managed to get rich or well off after growing up getting treated like shit show more anger? They are okay with everything now that they are not the ones getting abused?

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  127. There’s a saying about how I do things as I am able to, if I were you I would do things as you are able to. I don’t think that’s it exactly but it’s saying people do things the best they can given the person they are with their own personal abilities and limitations and the experiences they had. No one could do any better if they were living someone else’s life. They would make the same choices because our choices are the result of every little factor that makes up us and our lives.


  128. Thanks do much for the detailed explaination and your embelishing thoughts. I reading it right now and am LOVING every word. Thank you so much for sharing this with me. I almost got a degree in Anthropology, because I want to do precisely this type of work. And it so crazy that this was already being done before I was even born! I would’ve LOVE to read this in and actual anthropology class, this would’ve definitely push me into the field more. which is exactly why this type of female perspective/truth would never be included in standard antho courses!

    I haven’t read all the way through it yet, but I keep thinking about 2 things. 1) violence. That one of the common feature of the tools that men lay claim to early on are tools that are lethal. Obviously men want to wield lethal power over women and girls, and not the reverse. These tools for violence begin with basic sharp stones, and graduate all the way to the nuclear and frequency technologies we see today. 2) the other thing I keep thinking about as I’m reading is Information technology, which I would included storytelling and later on writing, as a part of the beginnings of IT. It is literally how men create their narrative (lies), stories, tales, religious doctrines, “history”, encyclopedias, news, entertainment, and of course computers and the internet. It’s all about controlling the narrative. The tools are words, paper, pens, pencils, printing presses, cameras….and MONEY. All tools and technologies at men have had nearly complete control of at all times and continue to. Men’s keys to controlling women are violence and lies. Weapons are for the violence, Information technology is for the lies.

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  129. Re: to imagining what men do.

    Yes, the process of waking up and learning what men are and what they do, and have done and continue to do is like a slow descent into hell. Each level unimaginable until you see it. And it seems to go ever deeper.

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  130. “the cops protecting them”

    My thoughts exactly. Especially when you consider all the emphasis on ‘finding victims’, but not perps. Have you all read TYPs posts about Lydia Cacho? Pretty much sums up how police, judges and the legal systems are in bed with child traffickers/pornographers.

    Liked by 2 people

  131. Re: learning about Marx.

    I know right, the classes always stop their labor analysis just short of women’s reproductive labor. It’s crazy to talk about ‘labor’ like it just falls out of the fucking sky. Like, no. ‘labor’ comes from bodies and bodies come from females. The entire means of production would collapse if women stopped making ‘laborers’.

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  132. Re: “I hate people honestly.”

    I don’t have the energy to spare for hate anymore. It wastes too much of it.
    Instead, I’ve just come to accept that most people these days are vacuums. There’s nothing there. They move their lips but all that comes out is meaningless words.
    Whenever I leave my hermit’s cave I put on my fake It’s All Good and Shiny Happy Person face and keep it plastered on. I give up. Can you die from boredom?

    Re: “The realization that help doesn’t exist.”

    I’ve come to accept this, too, because help of any kind has been so very rare across a lifetime that I almost fall down on my knees and blubber like a baby if I ever find it. Even the smallest mercy is greeted with incredulity.

    Anotherwomaninhell, what you referenced from Andrea Dworkin I also went through.

    When I was first dealing with the complex PTSD symptoms that began immediately after my exit-from-dissociative-amnesia in 2004, I had never heard of PTSD, had never heard of dissociative amnesia.
    I was crazed desperate to find someone with the right qualifications who would listen to me and help.

    I was still living in Italy at the time – Florence- and found the Neuro-Psychiatric Clinic. I made an appointment with the head of the clinic, dressing very carefully in my best Vogue Italia clothes because I wanted no one to think I was a crazy woman and because this was Italy. Even if you are having a nervous breakdown- and I was- you must always keep up appearances. This is the steadfast rule for women in Italy.

    The head of the Neuro-Psychiatric clinic looked like an Italian wannabe of Sigmund Freud.
    He wore a crumpled, grey linen summer suit and it was mid winter, the same spectacles as old Siggy would have worn and had a huge marble table between himself and me. He leaned way way back in his swivel chair, examined my physical appearance closely, swiveled his chair slowly, and manspread his legs wide wide apart.

    If I hadn’t been trembling so much in desperation for help and on the verge of total nervous breakdown, I would have roared with laughter, stood up and thrown the jug of iced water on the table into his manspread lap.
    “Yours is the best comedy act I’ve seen since never. Here, cool off, Siggy! And don’t fuck with me because I’m not in the mood. The real Sigmund Freud would never have worn Polish linen like your suit. Cheap, cheap, cheap.”

    Instead, I gathered myself together as best I could, and very slowly and calmly explained what was happening to me. I even had written notes in point form and a timeline which I read from. I told him that I had had an amnesia since I had left Australia- I wasn’t sure- and that long buried memories had sprung forth after watching a particular movie made by a cinema director, screenplay writer and producer I had once known and trusted in Sydney.

    He had used the name Bronte for the lead female character in that movie – knowing that the name Emily Bronte was a name associated with me- alongside the contents of two very private and confidential conversations we had had in Sydney during the 1980’s. My mind recognized sentences I had spoken to the director many years ago because they were very distinctive.
    My mind realized that an Australian cinema director had stolen private conversation material and used it in a screenplay and movie. That mind went berserk in disbelief and rage because what I had told that cinema director was related to very ugly events I had lived as a child: three years of rape by a pedophile, and more abuse later by the Australian government.

    Within the story I was telling Siggy Fraud was the name I kept repeating out of desperation: “Emily Bronte, Emily Bronte, Emily Bronte. When I was thirteen years old I was named a “young Australian Emily Bronte and ……..together. Please help me. I feel like I’m going mad because my story is so bizarre.”

    Dr. Fraud sniffed and responded: “Madame, I see that you are well-read and also have an excellent imagination. I call these fantasies. Not amnesia.”

    I began living my real life of version of Wuthering Heights; albeit nothing like the original. The wuthering was in my head.
    It takes a long time- at least two hours- to thoroughly explain a complex story lived across decades of a lifetime. It can’t be done in ten minutes, especially when you are on the verge of collapse.

    Eventually, after attempts in both Italy and Australia to find someone competent enough to explain what was happening to me, I gave up. I cured myself with the help of two wonderful American ladies.
    Thank you Judith Herman for your wonderful book Trauma.
    And thank you Jennifer Freyd for Betrayal Trauma.


  133. Re; Candy grl

    It’s telling that the cult was enmeshed with a church, and medical practice, and a military base. 3 major male institutions working in tandem as a part of this underground sadistic cult. I’m not finding my words well here to make my point.


  134. I just finished Candy Girl. I agree that the involvement of these institutions is telling. Together, these institutions would have all the power necessary to do all the things she is saying. The doctor falsifying birth and death certificates for children was particularly chilling, but then so is the idea that the military could easily supply the kinds of drugs she is talking about (not to mention mind control programs) and all 3 institutions have access to supply chains, transportation, real estate and everything you would need to make this kind of thing possible. And I hadnt heard the allegations that Nicole Kidman and her father were involved, but luckily now everyone has seen Eyes Wide Shut so its possible that anyone who remembers seeing Nicole Kidman in that kind of ritual abuse context was just remembering seeing her playing a similar part in a movie, so Hollywood plays its part as well. When I watched Candy Girl, a clip showed up in my recommendations of Nicole Kidman on the Ellen show talking about how she had recently lost her father. She said that her husband had to step up and physically carry her at times bc it was so hard to deal with his death. Without second guessing anyone’s grieving process, catatonia does seem a bit…extreme.


  135. And the thing about these kinds of allegations is, if anyone can imagine it, we know men have done that and more. It doesnt even matter if one account of abuse is factually true to a specific time and place bc we know its factually true generally, globally, bc thats what men do. So getting all the gnarly details really is just like porn bc it doesnt matter one way or the other, really. Even if it didnt happen to her, its happened. I hope she got something out of revealing these gruesome details bc I doubt it did anyone else any good. Spoiler alert: she probably didnt get anything out of it either except more trauma, which is of course the entire point.

    Liked by 1 person

  136. CannabisR:

    On Nicole Kidman after her father’s death.

    Catatonia can be a symptom of PTSD. Or psychological crumbling when the MK Ultra programmer of a subject dies. (“Who will replace him? He was my father. What he was doing all his life was for my enrichment. He kept his promise and made me a big Hollywood star with the Oscar he promised me and all the best movie roles.”)

    It makes sense to me that, after a lifetime of the type of psychological programming that Kidman’s father allegedly gave her, that his loss would affect her that way.

    I have never liked Nicole Kidman from the beginning of her career. In Sydney she was always arrogant and with a huge air of self-entitlement even as a young teenager. She was not well liked by a lot of people in the movie business there but then those people were arrogant and self-entitled as well. I used to call them a Vanity Fair.
    A former friend termed her a “cold fish” and I agreed at the time. Then she moved to Los Angeles and, all of a sudden, she was doing a major movie with Tom Cruise and then married him.

    We scratched our heads. How did that happen? She can’t even act because her big ego and sense of entitlement get in the way and now she has a major movie with Tom Cruise? Who is pushing this?

    When I first watched the Candy Girl, as soon as I heard that Antony Kidman had been Fiona’s MK Ultra programmer- because he worked for the CIA and MK Ultra was what they were doing at Sydney University at the time- the reason Nicole Kidman married Tom Cruise and suddenly became this huge star suddenly became clear.

    “Did the CIA make Tom Cruise (her husband) her new handler in Hollywood? Was Cruise the one who was supposed to control her in Hollywood because her father was not there?”

    In Hollywood there are a lot of contract marriages. Both parties have a contract written out by lawyers that they adhere to. Women in a particular marriage may function as “beards”: a cover for a homosexual male actor who Hollywood wants to remain on the hetero list for publicity reasons. Here I cite George and Amal Clooney.

    I tend to think that the marriage between Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman was one of those contract marriages with Tom functioning as his wife’s handler for the CIA and Nicole as a cover for his homosexuality.

    The CIA controls Hollywood as it does the rest of the media. It has been said often that no one becomes a big star who is not CIA controlled. And Nicole Kidman became a big star very quickly.

    I think that was positive pay back to Nicole’s father for his many years of service to the CIA.
    The CIA, on its part, understood that Nicole was pliable: one of their MK Ultra assets.
    Stanley Kubrick’s Eyes Wide Shut is the clincher for me.
    He didn’t just choose that couple for the movie by accident.

    Nicole Kidman’s father was allegedly a 33rd degree Freemason of the Scottish Order. 33 is the highest level of freemasonry. This is even indicated in Candy Girl but it is easily missed if you don’t understand freemason symbolism.

    Hence: freemasonry, CIA, Hollywood, Australian military, Catholic and Anglican churches, medical profession, police, politicians and judiciary all working together. All the usual subjects all tied up together neatly by the Candy Girl documentary.
    She makes an awful lot of me.

    During the early 1980’s, I was offered the position of screenplay writer in Hollywood to who was then Australia’s top movie director. I refused because I wasn’t interested and the director was all over me like a rash. I knew that if I accepted I would have big problems with him. So I was honest and told him why I was refusing him. I later had that refusal used against me.

    So, some years ago, because of this, I started studying Hollywood to try to understand the betrayal.
    Mr. Prince of Australian cinema, were you CIA, as well? That Oscar came awfully quick. And the rest.
    I’m glad I said no.

    Liked by 1 person

  137. @ Cannabis Refugee: Good catch with the 3/11.

    Both 3 and 11 are numbers being used by our elite gangsters.

    According to those who have been studying this situation for years, the numbers being used are Freemason numbers.
    3 is a sacred number, multiples of 3 such as 6; the number 7 or any number containing 7 within it.
    33 of course is considered a very sacred number because, in the Scottish Order (think that’s what it is called) the highest level is 33.
    Then there is 11 and multiples of 11 such as 22, 33 again, 44, 55, 66, 77 etc.

    Masonic numbers of Freemason numbers can be googled. The use of these numbers is not recent.
    This secret numeric code business has apparently been going on for centuries under our unsuspecting noses.

    Re: The Independent newspaper article you referenced that advises victims of abuse to not inform the authorities I agree with entirely.
    When I was ten years old I went to the local police station to report what was being done to me. I will not repeat what was said to me. And how those policemen joked.

    I then went to my local Catholic church priest. My mother forced me to go to confession every Tuesday.
    He scoffed at me, told me I was a liar and to recite one hundred Hail Marys for my sins……of telling the truth.
    I have been an atheist since then but I already knew the liars were them, never me.

    Unfortunately, my mother was so very stressed in those days, she refused to believe me when I told her what her new boyfriend was doing to me. She slapped me across the face and called me a liar.

    I should have really hated her all my life but no. Her intelligence was not great. What can you do but come to acceptance?

    As for therapists/psychologists/psychiatrists I would advise anyone in Australia to stay away from them, also.
    They could not diagnose even a simple headache they are so incompetent….and you will be placed on a digital list under the designation of something like “compromised officially with mental disorder.”

    Big Brother is watching you.

    Fiona Barnett has gone into hiding to escape all the harassment from authorities and their minions.
    Instead, someone like me becomes a hermit or quasi-hermit because we see all the corruption around us, we have been victims of it when we were too young to defend ourselves and are bone tired.

    I used to feel that I was living in a prison I could never escape. And then I left for Europe as an adult where I felt free for the first time in my life……..until a Hollywood film invaded my life and destroyed it. Again.

    I will now watch your new video. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  138. My mom is constantly talking about Tom Hanks and his wife having Coronavirus now. She keeps saying how they are trying to kill off the old people. Which is honestly probably true. But it’s all she talks about now and it’s a lot to listen to.


  139. im hearing that the mortality rate in the US is higher than other places. if thats true, i suspect it would be bc we are all eating GMOs, exposed to nuclear, and are all autoimmune. we all have “preexisting health conditions” in other words, as if anyone is 100% healthy anymore especially here. russia and other places were smart enough to ban GMOs so their people will be very healthy compared to us. the weasel words being used here are really stunning. is everyone with AI, obesity, diabetes etc all thinking “well im healthy so i should be fine” or are they understanding whats happening and how it might affect them? this is really getting out of control. how utterly fucking bizarre this all is.


  140. Sinbigger the fact that I had never heard of this lady at all is a huge example of how completely they control the narrative with their lies and how the flow of information functions as a tool for control. In my Anthropology classes it’s mostly presented as men are just working together with us and doing different things. Most of what they talk about in terms of the brutal domination is very specific. They talk about the Muslim and African tribal ritual female genital mutilation over and over. While the things the Muslim men do are absolutely fucking nuts, all men do this same shit and all the same things are happening here with Christian groups, but you will never hear this stuff if all you listen to is what they tell you. It’s just a bunch of propaganda to make us think things are so great here and the problem is just those crazy Muslims over there who aren’t as civilized as our totally great civilization. To understand how all groups of men do the same thing requires so much research on your own that people really don’t even have time for even if they want to do it because they are kept so busy. The work for school takes up so much time and then people need so much time put into work just to survive, if people have kids they can really forget about learning anything. Women are still kept so busy with all the time wasting things and restricting things that men have always done to us as it is, by denying us proper tools and then enforcing various “beauty” rituals on us.

    If they really wanted to teach us, this would be the first thing we learn and it would be the start of so much more. It would open women’s eyes so wide and change everything. Which is why it’s not even mentioned in the mainstream stuff.

    Liked by 2 people

  141. What degree did you end up getting? Anthropology was super interesting and I learned a lot but you have to see things as only a little slice of the big picture no matter what you learn and have to take into account where all the information is coming from and what their purposes are. My International Relations degree was entirely taught by ex military dudes and the classes were mostly military students too. I felt like I made a really bizarre decision at first since obviously I am not a fan of the military, but that was really interesting and I learned a lot from that too.

    Liked by 1 person

  142. My mom keeps talking about how she can’t leave the house and go around people because she is older with diabetes and is constantly listening to all the warning stuff. So they are telling people about all the dangers for anyone with any conditions. I think people are understanding and starting to panic. I don’t think very many people understand we all have preexisting conditions because of poison and GMOs and nuclear waste though. But the panic is freaking me out much more than the virus because people get crazy when there are things like this going on.


  143. Haha! Of course the fucking Boomers will cover their own asses. And as the head of the AARP (or something) recently reminded everyone, Boomers “are the ones with all the money.” No shit bitch, thats why everyone hates you and why no one else has a pot to piss in. And its literally why everyone else is sick: the Boomers and their awesome toxic, polluting inventions and criminal, immoral Ponzi schemes their kids and grandkids have to pay for, but the Boomers themselves have only been exposed to this shit for some small percentage of their lives, while everyone else has been stewing in it since they were inside the womb.

    Liked by 1 person

  144. She was attempting to berate young people for not respecting their elders, pandering to them and taking their opinions into account lol. It may’ve even been an extremely tone deaf response to the “Okay Boomer” meme. She clearly didn’t grok the meaning of the meme, or of OK Boomer, or anything that young people are trying to say, or are having to deal with on the daily, largely bc of them and their bullshit and resource hoarding. It was embarrassing.


  145. Ugh they’re in their own little world aren’t they? We’re all just whiny and entitled because we don’t want to be sick and live in poverty.


  146. Seriously. And its not that we dont “want to” be sick and live in poverty, its that we ARE sick and in poverty and we dare speak about it, and compare their situations to ours. Its not about wants, its about material needs and Boomers think their wants are more important than everyone elses needs. That is the very definition of narcissistic entitlement.


  147. Also, I have received 3 emails today from big box stores telling me their policy on covid19. Walmart is cleaning their stores every day now. Great! The NYC MTA (transit authority) recently announced their new and improved cleaning schedule, whereupon everyone threw up in their mouths lol. Basically they went from not cleaning the trains, buses and terminals AT ALL (or only a few times a year lol) to doing more than that. I thought that was funny. And scary obvs.

    Liked by 1 person

  148. They seem to be incapable of understanding other people’s situations are completely different then theirs were. Even ones with good intentions, they try to give advice and it’s like they are saying we could just grow wings and start flying. It’s so unrealistic and in denial about anything that’s actually happening.


  149. When we rode the buses for field trips, regular buses not school buses, they were so nice. It was very pleasant to ride on them. But my dad and I had to ride the bus back home when his truck broke down while visiting his mom and it was one of my most disgusting experiences ever. It smelled like pee and it was generally so gross, I didn’t want to touch anything. And there were all these scary dudes around, I would have been scared if I was by myself or another woman.


  150. Sinbigger, yes this is a descent into hell learning all this, hence the screen name I chose lol. I think that reading the Hands, weapons, tools study by Paola Tabet, gyn/ecology by Mary Daly, beauty and misogyny by Sheila Jeffreys, and woman hating by Andrea Dworkin really form the basics of understanding all this. Then reading women’s observations on these blogs and other reading recommend on them keeps deepening the understanding. Tabet shows how the restrictions of keeping tools away including the use of women’s own body as tools has allowed men to dominate us. Daly shows how widespread all these mutilations are that have kept women disabled for thousands of years and explains the mental mutilation that men do to us as well. Jeffreys and Dworkin show how the idea of “beauty” is meant to handicap women. And when you understand it in connection with the understanding of how men have always violently kept tools away from women and handicapped women, the long nails and high heels and all that fully make sense. It’s not only sadism and all that but a collective generational effort to restrict women’s tool use since the earliest invention of tools which women probably invented in the first place before they were turned on them.

    Liked by 1 person

  151. The Amanda Bynes video seriously gives me nightmares. She does look exactly like a robot short circuiting. She’s been made into their sex bot and was breaking apart from it all. She was a child star so they have the opportunity to break girls like her their whole lives when they get into the industry very young. I watched all her shows on Nickelodeon growing up so it is especially disturbing to see someone I watched for so long throughout my life in this disturbing state. People will just say it’s “drugs” and dismiss all this abuse being done to her as if it’s so unrealistic even though men have inflicted horrible abuses on women everywhere throughout all time and plenty of it is honestly common knowledge. You don’t even have to look deep to see all the raping and pedophilia and beating and murdering. It’s in our faces at all times.


  152. @ Anotherwomaninhell

    Re: Amanda Bynes and other Kittens.

    Amanda Bynes is what the MK Ultra/Monarch programmers term a Beta Kitten.

    There are Presidential Models (MK Ultra terminology) such as Marilyn Monroe, who are the highest level of MK Ultra kittens. Presidential Models are trafficked out to presidents, prime ministers, top politicians, kings and other international potentates.

    The Australian Fiona Barnett was also programmed to be a Presidential Model, given that she was trafficked out to Prime Ministers and former U.S President Nixon. She was a beautiful child and is still a beautiful woman. I wonder if the weight gain was deliberate: “Ha ha, you can’t use me for Presidential anymore.”

    Was Nicole Kidman also programmed to be a Presidential Model. I have heard stories but previously just shrugged them off as just gossip.

    I don’t know if you have ever heard of Cathy O’Brien who was also a Presidential Model MK Ultra sex slave.
    You can download her book. It is titled The Trance Formation of America.
    Then there is another former Presidential Model with the surname of Crosby but I can’t remember her first name.
    Her book Thanks For The Memories is also online.

    Both women accuse Henry Kissinger (former US Secretary of State and warmonger) as one of the top people involved in the MK Ultra program. Both women were former sufferers of Dissociative Multiple Personality Disorders or trauma-induced amnesia causing multiple personalities.

    Then there are the Beta Kittens under the Presidential Models, beta being the second letter of the Greek alphabet. Please google Monarch Beta Kittens and you will find much to read.

    Amanda Bynes isn’t the only Beta Kitten out there. Do you remember what happened to Brittney Spears years back? The head shaved with the 666 symbol? She was having a breakdown similar to Amanda’s.

    Then there is- allegedly- Katy Perry. I can’t watch her music video Bon Appetit without vomiting.
    Then there is Beyonce. Have you ever noticed the occult symbolism in her videos. I wonder if her CIA is her husband. And so on.

    The music industry is also CIA controlled with all of its handlers and various kittens.
    The music we listen to on mainstream radio all meant to program us in a certain way.

    Liked by 1 person

  153. Re: More music industry and CIA shenanigans for anyone interested.

    I don’t use hyperlinks because I don’t want to clog up this site, but there is an interesting articled series on the
    Center For An Informed America website.

    It is written about the birth of the hippie generation during the 1960’s, hippies meant to distract youth from the realities of the Vietnam war at the time. Most interesting to read about Jim Morrison of the Doors, who his father was and how that top navy man created the “false flag” or the Tonkin false flag to start the Vietnam war.

    If you don’t know what the expression “false flag” means then please read up on it. Urgently.
    9/11 was a false flag.
    I won’t list those from that date because there are too many. Until a few days ago I believed the Corona Virus a false flag but I don’t anymore. There exist false flag watcher/truth tellers all over the internet.

    Anyway, the CIA controlled music industry article mentioned, written by David McGowan (who paid for his truth telling) is titled The Strange but Mostly True Story of Laurel Canyon and the Birth of the Hippie Generation.

    It can be found at


  154. Bronte, yes I know there are lots of women they did this too and they put Britney Spears through all this same torture. I’ve seen clips of her “glitching” from her programming too. I think the Amanda Bynes one is the worst though that we see on video. It’s so clearly inhuman what is happening to her, like they hollowed her out. Thanks for all the sources I will check that out later.

    Liked by 1 person

  155. Bronte when reading your story with the dissociative amnesia and director putting code words in a movie and everything it made me think that could all be made into a movie and what it reminded me of was this article I read where someone was talking about the student’s reactions who were in a school shooting. When someone started shooting at them, many of the people didn’t believe it was real at first because they said it was “like a movie.” Since this was something out of the ordinary they didn’t expect and they had only seen in movies, they had trouble believing what was actually happening in front of their eyes. The article writer went on to talk about how movies and video games have warped people’s sense of reality in a way because we see these vivid real looking depictions of events presented to us in a way we know they are obviously fake because people intentionally made the movie with actors and scripts and all. So when people see things that are “like a movie” they have trouble believing they are real. Even though the ideas for the movies all come from somewhere. Even if it’s a story like Star Wars, the aspect of different groups fighting for different ideals and spys and secret notes and all that are real, they just added in aliens and magic powers and stuff. The way the people in charge tell us their stories over and over about what they are doing with their secret societies and abuses might also be a way of showing people that it’s “just a movie.”

    I definitely do believe every experience we have affects us even if we don’t consciously remember it. I’ve been thinking about this because I had several extremely serious medical events happen when I was very young that I have no memory of. I have memories of almost my entire life since I very vividly remember the place I lived from 2-4 and many memories of playing there and being with my parents, so it’s not that I was too young to have memories. I can’t remember these things at all. I had a severe reaction to an antibiotic that almost killed me and was in the hospital almost dead from it. I also busted my head open on a marble ledge that some dumbass put a children’s slide next to when I was playing somewhere and I guess all the adults were too oblivious to have noticed that could be a problem for small children. I have a large scar that goes across the back of my head underneath my hair from it. Apparently my aunt said I was her daughter to use her insurance and I was scared and crying for my mom and the doctors were like “your mom’s right there” but it was my aunt. So extra trauma there wanting my mom to be there while I was hurt and scared but because of this insurance stuff they had my aunt go in with me. I also busted open my lip on a table while playing with the cat and they had to have a plastic surgeon sew it up. That’s a lot of serious health experiences to happen in the first couple years of my life and the reaction to the medicine and busting my head open were obviously extreme life threatening occurrences I could have died from. I wonder exactly how all this affected me.

    Liked by 1 person

  156. @ Anotherwoman.

    Yes, a movie could be made of it. But Hollywood and its “players” fill me with disgust and contempt.

    On the other hand, a book may be written. Am thinking about this at present and attempting some kind of plot structure.

    Why not? Other women – former MK Ultra sex slaves- have written and published books.

    Cathy O’Brien wrote her The Trance Formation of America.
    Brice Taylor (not Crosby) wrote her Thanks For The Memories: The Truth Has Set Me Free! (The Memoirs of Bob Hope’s and Henry Kissinger’s Mind-Controlled Slave.

    I was not an MK Ultra/Monarch programmed kitten but today I think, “Well, what was the difference? Not much.
    I wasn’t sex trafficked but I was controlled nevertheless by something I did not understand.”

    The truth does indeed set your free as Brice Taylor wrote but it also leaves unimaginable wreckage in your life.
    And it takes so long- years- to understand what is happening to you. Meanwhile, you are handicapped with the various symptoms of PTSD. Not fun.

    Re: High School Shootings and “Like a movie.”

    No, what was happening to me DID NOT feel unreal. Complex trauma in past life affects not only your brain but your entire brain/body system.

    I remember New Year’s Day, 2005 particularly well. Waking up at a friend’s house in Verona, then suddenly finding myself squatting on the floor, rocking back and forth while protecting my abdomen area with both arms.
    There was an unbearable amount of pain but it was psychic pain. It felt like a madman butcher was hacking at my at my body with a blunt axe – heart to lower abdomen- over and over again.

    I was sobbing to the person in the room with me: “There should be blood! The whole floor should be covered with blood but it isn’t. Please find a gun and shoot me, shoot me. I beg you. They shoot horses, don’t they? They have mercy for horses mortally wounded but not for women. Shoot me.”

    Did you know that the stomach is our second brain? Really, it should be considered our first brain, given that the stomach contains more neurons and synapses than the brain in our head. What you feel when you experience gut feeling is that second brain in action. It should be listened to more often.

    Therefore, I understand today that what was occurring to me on New Year’s Day 2005 was my stomach brain demonstrating how badly wounded I was. My stomach brain held the certainty that someone had done a hack job on my life- the sensation of a butcher with a blunt axe. That stomach brain also told me that someone in Hollywood was responsible.

    They Shoot Horses, Don’t They is the name of a vintage Hollywood film. I had used that title when pleading to be released from my misery.

    There was no unreality there. It was not a movie. It WAS a specific movie and its director that caused it.

    If you look up something termed “pattern recognition” in humans, you should understand better.

    Liked by 1 person

  157. @ Anotherwomaninhell.

    I just looked up They Shoot Horses, Don’t They? and discovered the director to be Sydney Pollack.


    I grew up in Sydney, the film director who had caused the damage is from Sydney, everything bad in my life happened in Sydney.
    What else can I say about the stomach brain and its accuracy. I am truly impressed at the moment.


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