More Evidence of Autoimmunity? Surgery “Complications” and Delayed Healing from Medicalized Trauma

This is mommy vlogger Bonnie Hoellein.  I have written about this woman before after both she and her sister were constantly vlogging about crapping themselves in public and I wondered aloud if one or both of them suffer from autoimmune conditions, specifically inflammatory bowel disease including ulcerative colitis or the hideous, disabling disease I suffer from, Crohn’s disease.

In the last year or so, Bonnie has had at least 2 rounds of cosmetic surgeries to correct various things she didn’t like about her body.  Both times, she suffered horrific complications from the surgery including delayed healing, infections, and what her husband has described as being at “death’s door.”  Based on my research this woman’s surgical complications and delayed healing from medicalized trauma is more evidence that she probably has an undiagnosed (or even a diagnosed yet publicly undisclosed) autoimmune condition.

Whether or not she knows she is ill, this woman — like a lot of women surely — keeps putting her health and life in danger by undergoing elective surgeries.  The medical research indicates that autoimmune patients do indeed suffer from delayed and complicated wound healing:

Continue reading “More Evidence of Autoimmunity? Surgery “Complications” and Delayed Healing from Medicalized Trauma”

8th Anniversary of Fukushima Nuclear Disaster. A 3/11 Post. PS. Radiation Causes Inflammation and Autoimmune Disease.

Today is the 8th anniversary of the nuclear disaster at Fukushima Daiichi nuclear power plant in Japan.  On this day 8 years ago — 3/11/11 — Japan experienced a 9.1 earthquake and resulting tsunami that destroyed a large portion of its eastern seaboard and caused at least 4 nuclear reactors to melt down, irradiating the facility and surrounding landscape with nuclear fuel.  There were multiple detonations at the site in the following days which spewed nuclear fuel rods into the air, water and soil.  The contamination of the Pacific ocean as well as the air at the coastline of Japan quickly spread around the world particularly the northern hemisphere.  Obviously, the Hawaiian islands and the west coast of North America including Canada, the United States and Mexico were hit soonest and hardest. This official model of the path of the contamination plume is taken from NOAA’s website here.  NOAA is the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (the US government).  Of course, since the nuclear material has yet to be effectively contained on site and likely never will be, the plume coming out of Japan has never stopped.  It has been an ongoing circulating plume starting anew and aggregating every single day via ocean currents and the atmospheric jetstream for 8 years by now.

Most people and especially most sick people do not have the energy or even the cognition needed to thoroughly research this event and to come to rational conclusions about it including the potential and actual effects on our health and lives.  There is also an active and lavishly funded propaganda campaign that’s been running on us in full force since the event intended to cover up both its occurrence in the first place and its completely predictable effects on the environment and in turn on our planet’s biomass (read: food, pets and ourselves) in the second.  So there’s that.

Continue reading “8th Anniversary of Fukushima Nuclear Disaster. A 3/11 Post. PS. Radiation Causes Inflammation and Autoimmune Disease.”

Cannabis Refugee, Esq. One Year Later. (Meta Discussion)

As my readers may’ve seen or sensed from the recent comments and content on this blog, I have become disillusioned with the CRE writing project and may decide not to continue writing about my experience as a Crohn’s patient trying to survive outside the Western medical system that was not helping me and was only making me worse.  As far as I can tell, this project has not inspired any additional writing or critical thinking on this subject, my posts have not been widely shared or inspired much interesting feedback, and this work has not opened up any additional opportunities for me in the way of writing or activism.  Of course, those were not the reasons I started this blog in the first place but they are to be considered when looking into the future of this project and whether it is in my or anyone’s best interest that it continue.

My original intent in starting this project nearly one year ago was to document my experiences as a seriously ill woman for whom conventional medical treatments were not working including the social, financial and health-related fallout of this system that seems designed to control and punish sick people while we carry the blame and shame for Western medicine’s failures and even its lies.  At times my health and financial situation have been so precarious that I actually believed (and still do believe) that I am going to die here, alone and in the middle nowhere, and I wanted the truth about what happened to me to be known or at least knowable by those who would wonder what the hell could’ve possibly happened that led to that sad and lonely end.

Continue reading “Cannabis Refugee, Esq. One Year Later. (Meta Discussion)”

Our Mothers Want Us Dead. Another Antinatalist Post.

I have spoken at length with other women who, throughout their lives, have been abused, neglected, torn/worn down, palmed off and otherwise unsupported by their mothers to the point that the only logical outcome of this treatment would be our untimely deaths, either from the abuse/neglect itself, from the completely predictable male violence and neglect we are subjected to when we choose heterosexual relations/relationships for survival, or via suicide.  The obvious fact that motherhood is the end result of misogyny, specifically female reproductive abuse including unwanted or “survival” sex and rape, makes this non-attachment to children foreseeable and ordinary and insures that it will never be discussed as if it were either.

I have written here before about what “family” means to me, and from where I’ve always stood, family appears to be the source of overwhelming grief, torture, humiliation, powerlessness and pain including medicalized torture, humiliation and pain if you were “privileged” enough to be born to Western medical professionals like I was.  (Of course, the tools of any trade and any patriarchal conditioning can and will be used by parents to torture children, especially girls.)  Family, if we are honest, is the source and location of almost all of girls’ and women’s suffering including being subjected to abusive male “sex” practices that only lead to one place for female-bodied people: pregnancy and motherhood.  Motherhood is a biological function exactly as romantic as shitting if we are honest about it and children are treated like shit for exactly that reason including grown “children” who were never part of the families they were born into in any human sense.  More like a shit-on-the-bottom-of-your-shoe sense.  Oops.  For more forward-thinking (or adaptable) folk perhaps in a compost-sense: a useful object that better prove to be useful or else.

A goodly portion of us were not wanted by our mothers and common sense bears that out; most of us know how difficult it is to have consequence-free recreational intercourse (or rape) and we activate against pregnancy for decades and not just because of the “timing” although for some that may be part of it.  For anyone who is still unsure, the ways our mothers often treat us make it clear that we were unwanted by her, or at least that we are unwanted now.  Although I shouldn’t be I am taken aback every time I see chronically ill people commenting in groups and on message boards how they are treated almost universally poorly by their own families — including by their own mothers — now that they are sick.  The last time I spoke with my own mother she blamed and dismissed me for being sick and told me I should move to a bigger city “because they have nicer homeless shelters there.”

Why I should be homeless when my mother and my entire family all own their own homes (well, the bank owns them) was not addressed, nor was the fact that my mother only “owns” her home in the first place because she was treated generously (albeit begrudgingly) when she divorced a man who could well afford it.  The fact that she is currently sheltered has nothing to do with her own responsibility, good choices or inherent worth even though she pretends, or may even believe, that it does.  But I digress.

Continue reading “Our Mothers Want Us Dead. Another Antinatalist Post.”

Crohn’s Disease is a Terminal Illness. Coming to Terms.

After researching this disease for going on 6 years now, I believe I have come to a rational conclusion about Crohn’s disease which is that it is not a so-called incurable progressive disease but a fatal one: based on all the evidence including anecdotal evidence from patients themselves I now believe that Crohn’s disease is a terminal illness.  I have more or less concluded that before but for some reason I hadn’t yet come to terms with it.  It’s not easy to come to terms with something like that but not because I suffer from what is almost certainly going to cause my untimely death but because everyone, and I mean absolutely everyone is lying their asses off about Crohn’s disease including how “treatable” it is, what kind of quality of life Crohn’s patients can reasonably expect, how predictably disabling it is and why, and how it’s probably going to end.

But before we get to the end it’s important to start at the beginning and admit what Crohn’s disease is at base: Crohn’s patients, including myself, have to medicate in order to eat.  And that is serious, very serious indeed.  If there is anything that is any less compatible with life than a disease that prevents the sick person from eating I can’t think of it.  A disease that prevented the sick person from breathing wouldn’t be any less compatible with life than Crohn’s is, it would just be quicker.

Continue reading “Crohn’s Disease is a Terminal Illness. Coming to Terms.”

Happy New Year! 2018 Year In Review (Chronically Ill Version). Ft. Cannabis Refugee, Esq. Meta Discussion.

2018 Year in Review (Chronically Ill version).  I was sick every single day, 365 days in a row, no shit.  I had a couple of relatively good days but I have no idea what I did to deserve them and was unable to replicate them.  I had a lot of bad days.  Overall, I am feeling worse over time.  For some reason I’m still here which terrorizes and terrifies me every minute of every day.  I surpassed my mental and physical limits a long time ago but no one cares what my limits are.  It’s a miracle that I’ve avoided either the hospital or jail due to intractable physical and mental pain.  The End.  LMAO @ “The End.”  Who am I kidding, this is going to go on forever.  I’m starting to think I died and came back because there is no way any human being could live through this for this long and I’m pretty sure I actually died like twice, if not 4 or 5 times that I can think of.  Am I am zombie?  Or a ghost?  A ghost would make perfect sense since I seem to be invisible now.  What the fuck.  I have no idea what’s happening to me.  The End.  LOL.  FML.

But seriously, I have found myself wishing people “Happy New Year!” as if there is anything likely to be “new” about it when my life as a chronically ill person has been completely the same day in and day out for going on 6 years now (I was diagnosed in 2013).  Meet the new boss!  Same as the old boss.  And chronic, progressive illness is the boss baes.  I no longer have much if any say over what happens to me.  For some reason in my well-wishes I have also included something like “I hope 2019 sucks less ass than previous years” but truthfully is late-stage capitalism and patriarchy — or chronic illness — likely to improve with time?  Is it?  I’m just asking.  And apologizing to anyone I may’ve said that to because in hindsight I realize it’s ridiculous.

I have enjoyed (not the right word) writing this blog and interacting with those who choose to do that.  I hope it has been helpful and a cohesive, coherent and relevant project.  I think it has been.  The first posts I wrote for this project were literally the first opportunity and ability I had in the nearly 4 years I have been here to gather and articulate my thoughts about what has happened to me since I’ve been ill and treating with both Western medicine and now medical cannabis, including what it all means politically in a big-picture way.  I think I did that accurately, and radically, and well.  Importantly, this project also helped me to recover my sanity and even my identity which were suffering under the heat and weight of my lived experience — living with a chronic, progressive disease, as an unkept female, under late-stage capitalism and patriarchy is hell, utter hell.  I know there are people here who understand what that means.  I didn’t understand it until it happened to me.

Continue reading “Happy New Year! 2018 Year In Review (Chronically Ill Version). Ft. Cannabis Refugee, Esq. Meta Discussion.”

Aaaaaannnndddddd…We’re Back to Grateful. I Literally Forgot What a Full-Blown Crohn’s Flare Was Like.

So for the past week or so I have been in a full-blown Crohn’s flare.  Being sick as hell all the time anyway, even when my GI symptoms are relatively minimal (meaning, minimal for me as a person with a chronic and debilitating autoimmune and GI disease) I guess I had forgotten how bad things can actually get!  Despite having recently worsening symptoms like crippling fatigue, arthritis in my fingers, toes, shoulders, hips and spine, dizziness and trouble walking, my GI symptoms have been at a blessed minimum lately, consisting merely of having to ruthlessly police my own diet and avoiding most foods available in the supermarket or anywhere; waking up nauseated every single day and having to lay (well, writhe around) in bed for an hour every morning trying to fart (apparently extreme bloating makes one nauseated?  Who knew!); being hit randomly throughout the day with stabbing abdominal pains, gas and bloating, “heartburn” which is really esophageal spasms that feel more like a cardiac event than a gastrointestinal one, pangs of nausea and other distressing sensations, and being glad I live alone so I can accomplish this daily ritual/grind in peace.

Other than that (!!) I felt relatively okay until about 10 days ago when the dreaded intestinal gurgling began.  As far as I can tell the gurgling starts as I become more and more inflamed and less and less able to control my symptoms — is it masticated food trying to bypass an obstruction?  Because that’s what it seems like to me.  In short order I was in a full-blown flare in which my abdomen feels, looks and is like a bloated whiskey barrel overstuffed with boggy loaves of bread, broken glass, molten lava, and poison.  The broken glass, molten lava and poison are self-explanatory (severe sharp/gnawing/grinding pain, burning, smothering malaise).  The boggy loaves of bread are my inflamed intestines and that’s exactly what it feels like — for instance, instead of moving and/or bending easily at the waist, bending over becomes grueling and distressing and literally feels like I am working against a waterlogged loaf of Wonder bread where my appendix and terminal ileum should be (abdominal right lower quadrant).  There’s another loaf where my ascending colon should be and so on.  If I drop something on the floor whilst in this sorry state it better be something I won’t be needing for awhile because I literally cannot bend over (or reach!) to pick it up again.

Continue reading “Aaaaaannnndddddd…We’re Back to Grateful. I Literally Forgot What a Full-Blown Crohn’s Flare Was Like.”

It Might Be “Ok Not to be Ok” For a Few Days But It’s Definitely Not “Ok Not to be Ok” Forever. Aka Chronically Ill. But Wait! There’s More.

Stop gaslighting everyone Jessie J!  This song and this sentiment (that it’s “ok not to be ok”) seem to be very popular amongst the very young and “neuroatypical” Tumblr crowd suffering from, among other things, anxiety and depression.  Reading the comments under the YouTube video reveals a lot, well, it reveals a lot of the same thing: young people feeling “not ok” and suffering through dark times only to reemerge triumphant in the end, and probably on addictive and expensive psych meds that will likely cause serious and even permanent side effects like involuntary muscle movements (and death).  That counts as “ok” apparently, and the “not ok” is “ok” if and only if it doesn’t go on too long and as long as you “get help.”

Of course, the side effects iatrogenic illness and injury from the psych meds themselves, including permanent neurological disability and death — and the “not ok” those cause — are worth it as long as the person is made ok now, for the time being.  Whatever “ok” means in this context because I sure as hell can’t figure it out other than that “ok” seems to mean “compliance” and specifically, willingness to engage with and submit to capitalistic patriarchal medicine.  Compliance and submission = ok.  Does this sound like it’s actually ok to not be ok?  Or does it sound like a bunch of shit?

And what happens when people are “not ok” for a long time, or forever?  Just ask someone who is chronically ill how friends and family perceive their illness once it’s gone on for months, years, or a lifetime.  In my own case, when I lost my apartment in a hurricane, had to move in with my ex-partner’s mother and was getting sicker by the day, my friends and family harassed me constantly for “updates” about the hurricane damage, my housing situation and the status of my health but I soon realized they weren’t looking for truthful reports so much as they were demanding constant assurances that I was Ok and that everything was fine.  When the truth was I had never been so not-ok in my life and considering the nature of my incurable, progressive disease I was unlikely to be “fine” ever again.  No one wants to hear that!  Hearing that makes them feel not ok!  And healthy people have to feel ok all the time no matter what, even at the expense of sick people and sick people’s ok.  So is it really ok to not be ok?  No.  Sick people have to learn to fake it if they want (or have no choice but) to maintain these relationships.  But there’s more.

Continue reading “It Might Be “Ok Not to be Ok” For a Few Days But It’s Definitely Not “Ok Not to be Ok” Forever. Aka Chronically Ill. But Wait! There’s More.”

What is Acne? What is the Acne Vaccine? The Acne-Crohn’s and Acne-Autoimmune Connection

I recently saw that there is a new acne vaccine in the works and my interest was piqued.  How on Earth would a vaccine be effective to treat or prevent acne, I wondered?  What does that even mean?  In order to answer that question, “How would a vaccine reasonably be expected to fight what has long been considered an annoying but benign skin condition that most people grow out of?” we first need to know, what is acne?  Don’t we?  I always believed acne was “overactive sebaceous glands” that ruptured the follicles and became inflamed and/or infected and I had reason to know a little bit about it — that’s the medical explanation I was always given and I have suffered from severe cystic acne since I was a teenager.  How any vaccine would be expected to prevent overactive sebaceous glands or resulting inflammation and/or infections was, at first blush, unclear.

In my own case, I have taken every prescription and over the counter acne treatment imaginable including dubious long-term treatment with antibiotics that were supposed to prevent the deep infections (while simultaneously destroying the gut) and the antibiotics worked until they made me so sick I couldn’t take them anymore.  I was 16 when I decided that I didn’t care how bad my skin looked, I just could not and would not tolerate the antibiotics which made me bloated, nauseated, and overall feeling extremely ill.  Of course, as soon as I stopped taking the drugs, the acne came right back.

By the time I had suffered through 2 years of college with this allegedly “cosmetic” condition and what was also, in hindsight, years of moderate to severe chronic pain from essentially being covered in chronic abscesses (boils) I broke down and agreed to take Accutane, an oral tablet which works to treat cystic acne but no one knows why it works, just that it does.  A mystery cure?  Really?  That doesn’t help explain what acne is either.  When I was prescribed Accutane in the 90s it was known at the time to cause hideous side effects like severely dried and cracked mucous membranes, vision problems, and — wait for it — inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) including ulcerative colitis and Crohn’s disease.  How in the world, one might ask, would any medication cause an autoimmune disease like Crohn’s?  How is that even possible?

Back then, I did in fact develop gastrointestinal symptoms (and vision problems and cracked mucous membranes) that coincided with my treatment with Accutane but I just blew it off and that was not just me being flippant about my health.  I was able to easily treat these so-called side effects with what I was told were benign prescription drugs and besides, the only side effect of Accutane my doctors cared about was the 100% likelihood of severe birth defects if a woman has any contact with Accutane while pregnant or in the 3 months before she becomes pregnant.  Yes, for some reason, Accutane is severely toxic to the developing fetus — but, I was told, not to the adult patient.  The known risk of catastrophic fetal side effects was driven into me deeply and I was forced, if I wanted to treat with the only medication known to quickly and permanently cure severe cystic acne, to take oral contraceptives to avoid becoming pregnant.

And in addition to causing inflammatory bowel disease, Accutane is also extremely toxic to the liver and the drug insert probably said that Accutane patients shouldn’t drink, but my dermatologist, the medical literature and the drug inserts severely downplayed known liver and gastrointestinal side effects iatrogenic illness and injury and highlighted the one that they thought was the most important, or the one most likely to get them sued — the baby one.  Doctors prescribing Accutane to young women (apparently!) didn’t bother to tell them to watch out for signs of IBD or not to drink, but did force the women to concurrently take oral contraceptives to prevent pregnancy even if they were virgins or not “sexually active” to cover the doctors’ own asses as my University campus doctor told me, “In case you get raped.”  Of course, oral contraceptives are also known to cause IBD, meaning, ulcerative colitis and Crohn’s.  The plot thickens.

Continue reading “What is Acne? What is the Acne Vaccine? The Acne-Crohn’s and Acne-Autoimmune Connection”

Baby Poop Smoothies in the Age of Nuclear, Autism and Autoimmune Disease. Caveat Emptor Y’All.

________________________________________

ca·ve·at emp·tor
/ˌkavēˌät ˈem(p)ˌtôr/

  1. the principle that the buyer alone is responsible for checking the quality and suitability of goods before a purchase is made.

_________________________________________

Baby poop smoothies.  Have people heard of this?  It’s along the same lines as fecal transplants, where both are alternative treatments used to treat and even “cure” various bowel ailments from which people are desperate, absolutely desperate for relief.  People suffering from gastrointestinal dysfunction and disease are literally willing to eat, drink and/or rectally insert other people’s shit in order to make themselves feel better, and as a Crohn’s patient myself whose serious debilitating illness was not responding to conventional care, I understand what would move anyone to attempt drastic measures to relieve the pain and disability of a crippling gastrointestinal condition which can quickly make anyone’s life unbearable.

In my own case, I submitted to suffered through 2 years’ worth of ineffective and damaging Western medical treatment for my Crohn’s; the relentless agony of un- and undertreated Crohn’s disease was hellish and terrifying, and despite accepting treatment I was only getting worse.  When I saw what was happening to me, and that the path I was on would not lead to a good place, I took my health and life into my own hands and moved across the country alone to legally treat with medical cannabis, otherwise known as marijuana.  If I hadn’t done that, and was left to suffer through more Western medical treatments (or no treatment at all) I would have likely sought relief with various alternative treatments with little or no regard for their weirdness, offensiveness, or likelihood of success.  Although I had researched fecal transplants and found that they are not indicated for small bowel Crohn’s, which I have, I am sure that eventually I would’ve come across the concept of, and been tempted to try, the Baby Poop Smoothie.

Continue reading “Baby Poop Smoothies in the Age of Nuclear, Autism and Autoimmune Disease. Caveat Emptor Y’All.”

Patreon Drive for August 1 Donations. Thank You for Your Support. Update Below the Fold.

patreon
Please click the Patreon image in the sidebar or use the links below to visit my Patreon page. Thank you for your support. >>>>>>>>>

Thank you to my 12 existing Patrons!  I appreciate your support.

I would never ask to be rescued from a more or less natural death.  When I came here 3 years ago to treat my serious chronic illness with medical cannabis, I really felt like I was dying, that I had no choice and that even if I “lost everything” it would not matter.  My quality of life was nonexistent and I was so extremely ill that I thought either I would die from my disease (which I believe is essentially a terminal illness, or at least that it’s terminal without treatment) or that I would heal enough to go on with my life even if it looked much differently than it had before.  3 years later, I have “lost it all” having paid out-of-pocket for out-of-state lodging and treatment which has given me profound pain relief and significant healing from the ravages of my incurable and disabling autoimmune condition, Crohn’s disease.  While I consider this to be an unlikely and hard-won personal success and am so grateful that I was able to do that for myself, I am now facing something I did not expect: figuring out how to live into the foreseeable future with an only somewhat healed and temporarily managed illness and no money, no credit, no immediate eligibility for benefits and little or no ability to earn.

Continue reading “Patreon Drive for August 1 Donations. Thank You for Your Support. Update Below the Fold.”

Autoimmune Women Are Supposed to Pay Doctors to Give Them AIDS. Are You Fucking Kidding Me.

Remember when “they” were saying that getting AIDS was like the worst thing ever?  I do — I am a child of the 80s afterall, and I was in 4th or 5th grade when the AIDS crisis hit and everyone was terrified of getting AIDS, children (children!) were being told to never have “unprotected” sex because of the AIDS, early on we were being told not to use public drinking fountains and to ostracize children with AIDS so as not to get AIDS ourselves.  Remember Ryan White?  I do!  I didn’t even have to Google to find his name, 40 years later I still remember his name and his story by heart, he was from my state and a few years older than I was.  He scared the shit out of everyone because he wasn’t doing anything “wrong” when he contracted AIDS like having the unprotected (or gay) sex.  That poor soul got it from a medical procedure, in his case, a blood transfusion for hemophilia.  Tragic.

Soon it became passé for anyone to trouble themselves with “how” anyone contracted AIDS — AIDS patients deserved our compassion, our respect, our acceptance of their physical and mental decline and resulting disability, regardless of how they got it.  Remember Ali Gertz?  I do.  She was a straight, affluent, white female and she got HIV and developed AIDS from a single sexual encounter with a man.  Of course, the man was bisexual and almost certainly got it from another man but by then it ostensibly didn’t matter…unless a woman gave her baby AIDS, then of course the woman was the Devil.  AIDS didn’t discriminate, AIDS was a horrible, painful, untreatable disease, a death sentence that no one deserved…except mothers who gave their babies AIDS, they deserved everything they got and more.  But deserved or not, no one was disputing that AIDS was serious, painfully serious, brutally final.

At some point “they” started saying no it’s not the AIDS specifically that’s the problem, it’s the HIV you don’t want, and that’s a virus so just use Universal Precautions and you should be fine!  Fairly recently they started saying it’s possible to “live with” HIV and never develop full-blown AIDS at all.  The message there appears to be that AIDS is actually what you don’t want afterall.  AIDS — Acquired Immuno Deficiency Syndrome — where your immune system becomes weakened, decimated and destroyed and you develop life-threatening opportunistic infections from bacteria, viruses, parasites, fungi, you get cancer (or more than one) and then need to be treated for the cancer(s), your quality of life plummets to zero and you can no longer work or play effectively, your friends and family have to care for you, even though there’s nothing long-term they can do for you, and you die painfully, skeletally, covered in sores and rashes, beyond spent, half out of your mind.  That’s the effects of the AIDS mind you — the HIV in and of itself appears to be relatively harmless except that it causes AIDS, and AIDS is still bad, very very bad, something unequivocally to be avoided.  Are we clear on that?  Good.

Enter “biologics,” the class of “treatment” — read Big Pharma poison — approved for managing autoimmune diseases like Multiple Sclerosis (MS), Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA) Crohn’s disease and more.  The so-called “side effect” of biologics — read iatrogenic illness and injury, meaning additional illness and injury caused by medical attention and treatment itself — is that biologics “change how your immune system works.”  That obfuscating bit of Big Pharma propaganda brought to you by the literal pricks at Johns Hopkins Arthritis Center.  Of course, “change” here means “destroy” and going from having a functioning immune system to not having an immune system at all is certainly a change so they aren’t technically lying but WOW, just wow.

Continue reading “Autoimmune Women Are Supposed to Pay Doctors to Give Them AIDS. Are You Fucking Kidding Me.”

Patreon Drive for July 1 Donations. Thank You for Your Support. Update Below the Fold.

patreon
Please click the Patreon image in the sidebar or use the links below to visit my Patreon page. Thank you for your support. >>>>>>>>>

Thank you to my 13 existing Patrons!  I appreciate your support.

I would never ask to be rescued from a more or less natural death.  When I came here 3 years ago to treat my serious chronic illness with medical cannabis, I really felt like I was dying, that I had no choice and that even if I “lost everything” it would not matter.  My quality of life was nonexistent and I was so extremely ill that I thought either I would die from my disease (which I believe is essentially a terminal illness, or at least that it’s terminal without treatment) or that I would heal enough to go on with my life even if it looked much differently than it had before.  3 years later, I have “lost it all” having paid out-of-pocket for out-of-state lodging and treatment which has given me profound pain relief and significant healing from the ravages of my incurable and disabling autoimmune condition, Crohn’s disease.  While I consider this to be an unlikely and hard-won personal success and am so grateful that I was able to do that for myself, I am now facing something I did not expect: figuring out how to live into the foreseeable future with an only somewhat healed and temporarily managed illness and no money, no credit, no immediate eligibility for benefits and little or no ability to earn.

This is Mama and Chili, my 2 adopted shelter cats.  Mama is the calico and Chili is her now-grown female kitten and appears to be a ragdoll mix.  They are so happy being together and the 3 of us have been blissed out for 3 years living in a modest calm and quiet living space in a beautiful rural area.  Mama and Chili are indoor/outdoor cats and get plenty of fresh air, sunshine, grass to chew on and bugs to chase.  Please help us stay together!

Continue reading “Patreon Drive for July 1 Donations. Thank You for Your Support. Update Below the Fold.”

What is Autism? The Crohn’s — Autism Connection.

In the last 6 years spent researching Crohn’s disease I have come across peer-reviewed medical research connecting inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) — including Crohn’s disease and ulcerative colitis — and autism.  Interestingly, it seems as if children with autism spectrum disorders (ASD) are more likely than their peers to also have formal diagnoses and prescriptions to treat IBD.  Possibly, the diseased bowel of IBD sufferers lets through neurotoxins that poison the brain causing autism and ASD.

Another study suggests that mothers with autoimmune disease disproportionately produce offspring with ASD, specifically autistic male offspring, while female fetuses of autoimmune mothers die.  The idea there appears to be that autoimmune mothers produce anti-brain antibodies that attack the proteins in the brains of the developing fetus; for some reason, the male fetuses live and are born brain-damaged (read: autistic) while the female fetuses of autoimmune mothers are spontaneously aborted.  Of course, female autistics and ASD sufferers do exist, but where do they come from?  Not from autoimmune mothers apparently.  This in-utero brain damage is a similar (but not identical) mechanism to that which is thought to cause brain damage from neurotoxins poisioning the brains of bowel-compromised IBD patients.  And even though female fetuses are normally hardier than males, according to the linked study, female fetuses that are poisoned this way tend not to survive.

It has also been suggested, but is impossible to prove, that autistic behaviors somehow contribute to development of IBD through “picky eating” or other actions that alter the diet or other environmental factors of autistic children compared to their peers.

It is difficult to draw conclusions from the evidence that IBD and ASD are correlated, but it provides good food for thought.  And in the food-for-thought vein, for those who are interested, I would like to suggest another avenue of inquiry: the possibility of a shared characteristic and common denominator of IBD and ASD as diseases of malabsorption.  Specifically, that IBD prevents absorption and assimilation of nutrients from food, while ASD prevents absorption and assimilation of social and developmental norms.

For those who are interested in what is known and/or knowable about autism and the correlation between IBD and ASD, you may wish to stop reading here and start Googling.  For my purposes, I wish to postulate the following extremely offensive and decidedly original idea for those who are interested in that, and while there is certainly room for improvement and/or expounding, the following is as fleshed-out as I am currently able to offer.

Continue reading “What is Autism? The Crohn’s — Autism Connection.”

You Can’t “Outsmart” Trauma. That’s Actually Not How Trauma Works. Or, What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Traumatized and Increasingly Unable to Function.

I’ve been thinking a lot about trauma lately as I contemplate my increasingly vulnerable and terrifying station as a chronically ill woman who will have to rely on the long-term care and concern of others if I am to survive.  For some reason I found this topic exceptionally difficult to write about in a coherent and meaningful way and in my experience as a somewhat seasoned social critic, that usually indicates that there is some thought-termination around the issue and that I am working my way through something that is not meant to be dissected and understood and that is probably the case here.  For whatever reason, this post seems like it just does not want to be written, and as a writer and a creative person I can and do respect that, so I am giving up on the idea of writing a proper post about it.  I have scrapped a dozen versions of this post and I’m glad they are gone.

But there is something that I — not my muse — would like to say about trauma, about women’s experience with trauma, how it affects us, and what little can probably be done about it.  But little is not nothing, and where there is anything women can do to avoid trauma and to avoid becoming traumatized, women seriously need to do everything in their power to avoid it.  The effects of trauma on our long-term physical and mental well-being are just too serious to ignore and we cannot keep letting this happen to us; we are told that “what does not kill us makes us stronger” but this is a reversal, and a lie.  And besides, there are probably worse things than death and it seems to me like trauma may be one of those things.  In reality, the constant traumas women experience that stop short of killing us only make us weaker, sicker, and less able to function.  For women, the effect of constant trauma is that we are neither here nor there — we end up the walking dead.

Continue reading “You Can’t “Outsmart” Trauma. That’s Actually Not How Trauma Works. Or, What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Traumatized and Increasingly Unable to Function.”