Crohn’s Disease is a Terminal Illness. Coming to Terms.

After researching this disease for going on 6 years now, I believe I have come to a rational conclusion about Crohn’s disease which is that it is not a so-called incurable progressive disease but a fatal one: based on all the evidence including anecdotal evidence from patients themselves I now believe that Crohn’s disease is a terminal illness.  I have more or less concluded that before but for some reason I hadn’t yet come to terms with it.  It’s not easy to come to terms with something like that but not because I suffer from what is almost certainly going to cause my untimely death but because everyone, and I mean absolutely everyone is lying their asses off about Crohn’s disease including how “treatable” it is, what kind of quality of life Crohn’s patients can reasonably expect, how predictably disabling it is and why, and how it’s probably going to end.

But before we get to the end it’s important to start at the beginning and admit what Crohn’s disease is at base: Crohn’s patients, including myself, have to medicate in order to eat.  And that is serious, very serious indeed.  If there is anything that is any less compatible with life than a disease that prevents the sick person from eating I can’t think of it.  A disease that prevented the sick person from breathing wouldn’t be any less compatible with life than Crohn’s is, it would just be quicker.

Continue reading “Crohn’s Disease is a Terminal Illness. Coming to Terms.”

Baby Poop Smoothies in the Age of Nuclear, Autism and Autoimmune Disease. Caveat Emptor Y’All.

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ca·ve·at emp·tor
/ˌkavēˌät ˈem(p)ˌtôr/

  1. the principle that the buyer alone is responsible for checking the quality and suitability of goods before a purchase is made.

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Baby poop smoothies.  Have people heard of this?  It’s along the same lines as fecal transplants, where both are alternative treatments used to treat and even “cure” various bowel ailments from which people are desperate, absolutely desperate for relief.  People suffering from gastrointestinal dysfunction and disease are literally willing to eat, drink and/or rectally insert other people’s shit in order to make themselves feel better, and as a Crohn’s patient myself whose serious debilitating illness was not responding to conventional care, I understand what would move anyone to attempt drastic measures to relieve the pain and disability of a crippling gastrointestinal condition which can quickly make anyone’s life unbearable.

In my own case, I submitted to suffered through 2 years’ worth of ineffective and damaging Western medical treatment for my Crohn’s; the relentless agony of un- and undertreated Crohn’s disease was hellish and terrifying, and despite accepting treatment I was only getting worse.  When I saw what was happening to me, and that the path I was on would not lead to a good place, I took my health and life into my own hands and moved across the country alone to legally treat with medical cannabis, otherwise known as marijuana.  If I hadn’t done that, and was left to suffer through more Western medical treatments (or no treatment at all) I would have likely sought relief with various alternative treatments with little or no regard for their weirdness, offensiveness, or likelihood of success.  Although I had researched fecal transplants and found that they are not indicated for small bowel Crohn’s, which I have, I am sure that eventually I would’ve come across the concept of, and been tempted to try, the Baby Poop Smoothie.

Continue reading “Baby Poop Smoothies in the Age of Nuclear, Autism and Autoimmune Disease. Caveat Emptor Y’All.”

Autoimmune Women Are Supposed to Pay Doctors to Give Them AIDS. Are You Fucking Kidding Me.

Remember when “they” were saying that getting AIDS was like the worst thing ever?  I do — I am a child of the 80s afterall, and I was in 4th or 5th grade when the AIDS crisis hit and everyone was terrified of getting AIDS, children (children!) were being told to never have “unprotected” sex because of the AIDS, early on we were being told not to use public drinking fountains and to ostracize children with AIDS so as not to get AIDS ourselves.  Remember Ryan White?  I do!  I didn’t even have to Google to find his name, 40 years later I still remember his name and his story by heart, he was from my state and a few years older than I was.  He scared the shit out of everyone because he wasn’t doing anything “wrong” when he contracted AIDS like having the unprotected (or gay) sex.  That poor soul got it from a medical procedure, in his case, a blood transfusion for hemophilia.  Tragic.

Soon it became passé for anyone to trouble themselves with “how” anyone contracted AIDS — AIDS patients deserved our compassion, our respect, our acceptance of their physical and mental decline and resulting disability, regardless of how they got it.  Remember Ali Gertz?  I do.  She was a straight, affluent, white female and she got HIV and developed AIDS from a single sexual encounter with a man.  Of course, the man was bisexual and almost certainly got it from another man but by then it ostensibly didn’t matter…unless a woman gave her baby AIDS, then of course the woman was the Devil.  AIDS didn’t discriminate, AIDS was a horrible, painful, untreatable disease, a death sentence that no one deserved…except mothers who gave their babies AIDS, they deserved everything they got and more.  But deserved or not, no one was disputing that AIDS was serious, painfully serious, brutally final.

At some point “they” started saying no it’s not the AIDS specifically that’s the problem, it’s the HIV you don’t want, and that’s a virus so just use Universal Precautions and you should be fine!  Fairly recently they started saying it’s possible to “live with” HIV and never develop full-blown AIDS at all.  The message there appears to be that AIDS is actually what you don’t want afterall.  AIDS — Acquired Immuno Deficiency Syndrome — where your immune system becomes weakened, decimated and destroyed and you develop life-threatening opportunistic infections from bacteria, viruses, parasites, fungi, you get cancer (or more than one) and then need to be treated for the cancer(s), your quality of life plummets to zero and you can no longer work or play effectively, your friends and family have to care for you, even though there’s nothing long-term they can do for you, and you die painfully, skeletally, covered in sores and rashes, beyond spent, half out of your mind.  That’s the effects of the AIDS mind you — the HIV in and of itself appears to be relatively harmless except that it causes AIDS, and AIDS is still bad, very very bad, something unequivocally to be avoided.  Are we clear on that?  Good.

Enter “biologics,” the class of “treatment” — read Big Pharma poison — approved for managing autoimmune diseases like Multiple Sclerosis (MS), Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA) Crohn’s disease and more.  The so-called “side effect” of biologics — read iatrogenic illness and injury, meaning additional illness and injury caused by medical attention and treatment itself — is that biologics “change how your immune system works.”  That obfuscating bit of Big Pharma propaganda brought to you by the literal pricks at Johns Hopkins Arthritis Center.  Of course, “change” here means “destroy” and going from having a functioning immune system to not having an immune system at all is certainly a change so they aren’t technically lying but WOW, just wow.

Continue reading “Autoimmune Women Are Supposed to Pay Doctors to Give Them AIDS. Are You Fucking Kidding Me.”

Advertising vs. Reality. Crohn’s Drug Commercials are Big Pharma Propaganda, People! It’s Not Real!

Big Mac (Real vs. Advertised)
It’s been awhile since I ate a fast food hamburger, but as I recall, it was even flatter, (somehow) both wetter and drier, and even more repulsively englobulated than the one on the right.  Englobulated, it’s a real word because I say it is!  Because everything anyone ever says about anything has to be true and people (and multi-billion dollar for-profit corporations) never make shit up to create a mental picture or steer the conversation and they definitely never lie.

Thank you RA Warrior for addressing the vast discrepancy between depictions of patient suffering in Big Pharma advertisements and what actual real patients actually experience in real life with their diseases and when taking Big Pharma drugs to treat our serious chronic illnesses.  RA Warrior blogs about rheumatoid arthritis which is an autoimmune disease like Crohn’s is: both are systemic autoimmune diseases that cause body-wide inflammation and symptoms including organ and eye damage, and RA causes particularly notable joint damage while Crohn’s causes particularly notable gastrointestinal damage.  Notice I said damage, not just “symptoms.”

While RA sufferers are progressively crippled from damage to and deterioration of the large and small joints in the body, and have other systemic issues as well like organ and eye damage and just feeling like crap all the time from head to toe, because systemic, Crohn’s patients are progressively crippled from damage to the GI tract including ulcers and erosions, fistulas, adhesions, perforations, and partial and total obstructions and have systemic effects on organs and eyes and feel like crap everywhere all the time too.  Yay!  And while most patients eventually figure out from painful, exhausting and crazy-making experience that the most prevalent (or only) cultural conversation about their disease isn’t true, most healthy people seem to have no idea and never learn what these diseases are really like, how much havoc they wreak on the body as a whole including organs and joints, and that they are both incurable and progressive.  That means that chronic, incurable and progressive diseases like RA and Crohn’s never get better and they only get worse despite the fantasy of effortless healing and full, glorious recovery being pushed by the global Big Pharma propaganda campaign hawking expensive and gravely dangerous poisons to unsuspecting and desperate patients and their families.

Continue reading “Advertising vs. Reality. Crohn’s Drug Commercials are Big Pharma Propaganda, People! It’s Not Real!”

Another 4/20 Post. The Literal Insanity of the “Alternative Treatment” Dilemma. Or, Too Sane to Ride the Crazy Train, But Buying a Ticket Anyway.

This post was inspired by a comment left by Nat.

It took me a good year and a half before I figured out a cannabis and diet and nutritional protocol that worked for me to treat the debilitating symptoms and pain of my Crohn’s disease.  After an entire year spent trying various cannabis products and finding profound pain relief and significant healing of my gut, I next started a regimen of top-quality supplements and 100% organic and fermented organic foods.  After an additional 6 months on the new diet, combined with continued cannabis use, finally I started feeling noticeably better.  Against considerable odds, I had managed to heal my gut well enough to process and absorb nutrients from food, and I had added a quality multivitamin, digestive enzyme and whole nutritious organic and non-GMO foods to provide those nutrients and it worked.

After being out-of-state treating with medical cannabis and organic and fermented organic foods for a year and a half, and having nowhere else to go and no way to get there anyway as I was still too weak to travel, I felt I had the energy to try to “make it” in my new home state.  For a year and a half after that I was able to continue paying for out-of-state housing and medical treatments by working intermittently on my small business and by maxing out my credit and liquidating my modest assets but now everything is gone; by itself, my ability to work intermittently will not be good enough to sustain my health, my home or my life.  Not only am I broke and my credit destroyed, my financial documents are a shambles and will be so indefinitely due to my inability to reliably maintain the books of my small business putting need-based benefits out of reach.  The 3-year gap in my medical records beginning when I abandoned Western medicine and sought alternative treatment with medical cannabis means I am ineligible for disability-based benefits too.  While I may be able to fix some of this with a bankruptcy or other action and start over eventually it will be some time before I can even apply for a rental property let alone afford to pay for one in a cannabis legal state or anywhere — I have truly lost it all trying to finance my journey to heal myself with medical cannabis.

I need somewhere to rest, relax and recover for at least a year while I clean up this mess and I need to do it in a cannabis legal state so that I can continue my treatment.  That is what I need if I am going to remain relatively healthy, pain-free and to repair the damage all of this has caused to my finances and to my life and obviously doing so would be in my best interests.  And — notice that’s an and, not a but, that’s important —  there is likely no way I am going to be able to do that.  I am in a cannabis legal state now, and I have figured out a way to heal from and live with Crohn’s disease, but after 3 years I simply cannot afford to stay.

And at the same time I also cannot afford to leave a cannabis legal state with this serious incurable and conventionally untreatable medical condition and doing so would in fact be pure insanity.  Everyone I tell about this says “you can’t leave, you need your medicine!” and of course they are right.  Without access to medical cannabis, I will lose the hard-won gains I have made in my health and well-being — gains which have cost me everything to achieve and maintain even for this short while — only to plummet once again down the Crohn’s-hole of excruciating and intractable physical pain, debilitating systemic effects and digestive issues including dangerous erosions, ulcers, inflammation and other partial bowel obstructions, malabsorption, dehydration and malnutrition, the escalating and aggregating side-effects and iatrogenic illnesses and injuries that come with conventional Crohn’s treatments and unavoidable psychological trauma from both the illness and the treatments themselves.  Within days of stopping my treatment I could easily land in the hospital or worse as I will be unable to control my affect or behavior while suffering from intolerable intractable pain and even though I can see this entirely foreseeable result coming from a mile away, there is nothing I will be able to do to stop it.

Continue reading “Another 4/20 Post. The Literal Insanity of the “Alternative Treatment” Dilemma. Or, Too Sane to Ride the Crazy Train, But Buying a Ticket Anyway.”

A 4/20 Post. Crohn’s Disease Origin Stories. Sponsored by Big Pharma and Cannabis Prohibition.

As I have continued to educate myself on the horrors of Crohn’s disease and the experiences of Crohn’s patients I have found that the discussions on the Crohn’s patient forums and message boards have been the most helpful.  The patients there discuss openly and honestly what is going on with them, how they are feeling, how this disease has affected their lives.  In reading their accounts, I noticed that four general themes arose again and again: firstly, that Crohn’s treatments are not effective at all, or if they work at first the relief doesn’t last, and in any case cause disabling side effects that are often even worse than the disease itself; secondly, that Crohn’s patients — having found no relief from conventional doctors or conventional treatment which often makes them worse — are often crippled from their illness and wish that friends and family were more understanding about how disabling Crohn’s can be and that it’s not just a “poop problem” but a systemic, chronic, incurable inflammatory autoimmune disease that often manifests outside the gut as well; thirdly, that even on their best days, Crohn’s patients still feel significantly ill and negative test results do not always correlate with decreased symptoms or decreased pain or increased ability; and lastly, and perhaps unsurprisingly considering the first 3, that there is a high depression and suicide rate among Crohn’s patients.

Please watch the following Crohn’s origin stories and see if it doesn’t make perfect sense that Crohn’s patients would tend to talk about the topics above again and again and again and again and again.  And all this suffering, every bit of it, is due to iatrogenic illness and injuries resulting from Big Pharma voodoo and medical interventions themselves, including medical mistakes; the utter failure of the capitalistic patriarchal medical machine to relieve their suffering one bit; and cannabis restriction and prohibition, where the only substance on Earth known to reliably treat either chronic pain or chronic inflammation (and this does both) is cannabis, otherwise known as marijuana.  And speaking of iatrogenic illness and injury (including so-called side effects) cannabis does it with literally zero risk of death and a relatively high risk of “euphoria” otherwise known as a feeling or state of intense excitement and happiness.

Yes, it seems that in the case of using medical cannabis to treat chronic inflammation, which it is known to do reliably and well, the most common “side effect” is to also simultaneously treat acute and chronic physical and mental pain.  Now there’s a thought.  Listen to their stories and see for yourself if you think these people deserve better.  See for yourself if you think these people deserve the option — just the option! — of trying medical cannabis to treat this horrible, horrible disease and everything that comes with it.

Continue reading “A 4/20 Post. Crohn’s Disease Origin Stories. Sponsored by Big Pharma and Cannabis Prohibition.”

Where is the Outrage? Defending Our Natural Right to Use Cannabis. Some Man-Made Laws Are Meant to be Broken.

In the past 3 years of treating myself out-of-state with medical cannabis, I have come to believe that access to cannabis (marijuana) is every human’s and animal’s natural right and is consistent with natural law.  We are citizens of this planet, and mammals including humans have an endocannabinoid system and seem built to ingest this plant in whole — not merely in part — in order to achieve and maintain homeostasis and consistent mental and physical health.  Man-made laws that contradict our natural right are therefore immoral, unethical and against our best interests.  So why do so many people continue to follow these immoral and unethical restrictions on cannabis use and why do so few attempt to defend our natural right to use this beneficial plant?  Where is the justifiable outrage at what has been taken from us and the extreme costs many of us have paid for this deprivation to our health, our finances, our freedom and our very lives?

Continue reading “Where is the Outrage? Defending Our Natural Right to Use Cannabis. Some Man-Made Laws Are Meant to be Broken.”